The Key to Solving Personal Challenges Is to Help Someone Else With That Challenge

Parshas Vaera
Rabbi Yissocher Frand

A wealthy Jew who had fallen on hard times once came to the Chasam Sofer (Rav Moshe Schreiber 1762-1826; Pressburg) and asked him for a bracha (blessing) or an eitza h (idea) to help him recoup his money. The Chasam Sofer told him that he should give money to another Jew who has fallen on hard times.

This Jew was not thrilled with the eitza h given him by the Chasam Sofer. He suggested: Maybe the honorable Rav did not hear what I said. I said that I have fallen on hard times. I need an eitza h and I need a bracha. What are you telling me? To give out money now? I don’t have any spare money at this time! I am facing bankruptcy as it is.

The Chasam Sofer told him that there is a pasuk in the Torah that teaches us that this is the appropriate eitza h when a person has fallen on hard times. Which pasuk in the Torah? The pasuk in Parshas Vaera says, “V’ gam (And I have also) heard the screams of the Children of Israel” (Shemos 6:5) The Chasam Sofer asked what the word v’gam implies. Who else heard it other than the Ribono shel Ola m? What does it mean “And I also heard...?” The Chasam Sofer answered that it must be that in Mitzrayim, every Jew, when he heard his fellow Jew cry out in pain from the work, felt bad for that other Jew. He then cried not only for himself, but he cried for the other Jew as well.

Therefore, “I also heard the crying...” means that I heard Jews crying for the pain of other Jews. The Chasam Sofer said that we see from here that the path to inspire the Ribono shel Ola m to have mercy and save a person from the troubles he is in, is to become a partner and to feel mercy and try to do something about someone else’s problems. That is the segul a – to give to someone else. You will get out of your financial hole; however you will get out of it. But the eitza h is that “v’gam ani sha’ma ti.”

The Meshech Chochma (Rav Meir Simcha of Dvinsk 1843-1926) says the same idea in different words and in a different context. The pasuk says “Ha shem spoke to Moshe and to Aharon and commanded them regarding the Children of Israel and regarding Pharaoh, king of Egypt, to take the Children of Israel out of the land of Egypt.” (Shemos 6:13) Chazal say that Moshe commanded them regarding the law of freeing slaves (after six years). While still in Mitrayaim, the Ribono shel Ola m gave Moshe the parsha of shiluach avadim! The Meshech Chochma notes that this seems like a most inappropriate context for commanding these yet-Jewish slaves to send their own slaves free! Who had avadim?

The Meshech Chochma says that wherever the Yiden (Jews) found themselves, there have always been wealthier Yiden and less wealthy Yiden. There is always someone who figures out an angle to make more money. The wealthier Yiden in Mitrayaim bought Jewish slaves from the Egyptians. These Jewish slaves worked for their Jewish owners. Moshe Rabbeinu tells these people, Do you know how the Ribono shel Ola m is going to emancipate us? When you go ahead and free your slaves, that will elicit from the Ribono shel Olam to free His slaves as well.

This is the same idea that the Chasam Sofer expresses. A person needs to do more than be aware of his brethren’s pain. He must actually feel that pain and do something about it! This is the way to elicit that same response from the Ribono shel Olam for yourself.

An incident is brought from the Rebbe of Zlotshov. After a day of hard work in a concentration camp, the Rebbe came to his barracks and was about to eat his daily ration of bread. He noticed another Jew lying on his ‘bed’ who was literally dying of hunger. This Rebbe took his own portion of bread and gave it to this Jew. The Jew gave him a bracha: “I bless you that you should get out of this place alive.”

This was no minor act of sacrifice on the part of the Rebbe. It is not like if you skipped supper one night, you could make up for it with a larger meal for breakfast the next morning. Now the Rebbe was lying there on his bed, famished. He said to the Ribono shel Olam “I received a bracha from this person, but I am not going to make it either!”

At that moment, a kapo walked into the barracks and saw the Rebbe of Zlotshov and noticed the dire condition he was in. The kapo had a sack of sugar cubes in his pocket, and he gave the sugar cubes to the Rebbe. The Rebbe said that those sugar cubes saved his life, and he felt that the bracha of the Jew to whom he gave the piece of bread was fulfilled. He received those sugar cubes in the merit that he shared his last piece of bread with that other person. “Anyone who has mercy on his fellow creature, has mercy upon himself from Heaven.” (Maseches Shabbos 151b).

This is the same concept as the Rabbinic teaching: “Someone who prays on behalf of his friend and he needs the same thing – he will be answered first.” (Bava Kamma 92a). If your daughter needs a shidduch, daven that someone else’s daughter should find a shidduch. If a person needs a refua h, pray for the refua h of someone else. The nature of human beings is not to do that. “I have enough tzores (suffering). I have my own problems!” However, that is not the right attitude. The right attitude is that even if you have your own problems, the ‘key’ to getting out of those problems is to do something for someone else.

This is the lesson of “v ‘gam (and also) I heard the cries of Bnei Yisra el.”

Current Pain Sometimes Mitigates Much Greater Pain Later

The beginning of Parshas Vaera is really a continuation of the end of Parshas Shemos. Parshas Shemos ends with Moshe Rabbeinu saying to the Ribono shel Ola m “From the time I came before Pharaoh, he has made matters worse for this nation and You have not saved Your nation.” (Shemos 5:23). The Ribono shel Olam‘s response to Moshe’s complaint is at the beginning of Parshas Vaera: The Avos (Patriarchs) did not have such complaints (when things were apparently not going as I promised) and you complain about such matters.

The Medrash says, on the pasuk where Moshe complains that matters have been made worse, that the Ribono shel Ola m responded to Moshe with a pasuk from Koheles: Tov achris davar m’reishiso. (Koheles 7:8) The literal interpretation of this pasuk is that the end of something is better than its beginning. However, the Sefas Emes interprets differently.

The Sefas Emes says that Moshe Rabbeinu was correct. “What you are doing to this generation of people is too much! You have caused too many bad things to happen to these people.” The Sefas Emes concurs: The people did not deserve all these tzores (suffering). So why did the Ribono shel Olam do it? He did it because He knew that the tzores now would mitigate or erase future tzores. Therefore, in the larger picture, it was worth it for them to suffer now beyond what they deserved, in order to save future generations from even worse tzores.

We shared a similar thought several weeks ago: When Yosef met Binyomin, he started crying because of the Beis Hamikdash that would be destroyed in the future. At that time, we asked why Yosef was crying THEN about the Beis Hamikdash? He is finally reunited with his brother Binyomin after all these years. Why is he thinking about the Beis Hamikdash at specifically that moment? We mentioned an insight from the Sefas Emes along the same lines: If Yosef had been able to hold out longer and put the sheva tim (tribes) through greater pain and anguish, the Batei Hamikdash would not have been destroyed.

This means that the sheva tim had been experiencing a kaparah (atonement) for what Klal Yisra el wa s destined to undergo in future generations. Had they suffered more now, than in the future, Jewish history would have been different. They would no longer have needed to endure the tzores that came to them in later generations. But since Yosef could not hold back any longer, their tzores at his hands was capped and the balance was held in abeyance for the times when the Batei Mikdash would be destroyed.

This is the way the Ribono shel Olam sometimes works. One generation needs to suffer, or one person needs to suffer, or one family needs to suffer to save them from far greater tzores. Even though the pain right now is terrible, it saves them from worse pain in the future. Sometimes a person needs to undergo a very painful operation but it saves him from future pain. If he does not undergo this medical procedure now, it is going to be much worse for him in the future. On a very basic level, this is the case with inoculations. A person receives a flu shot or a pneumonia vaccine. It hurts now, but that pain pales in comparison to what would happen if someone did not receive the shot. This is a very simplistic example, but it is the reality: The pain now sometimes precludes much greater pain.

This, the Sefas Emes explains, is the meaning of this pasuk in Koheles: Tov achris davar m’reishiso. The achris (end of the story) is sometimes better because of what happened earlier on. This is what the Ribono shel Olam says to Moshe Rabbeinu: You are right. I have dealt out too much punishment to this nation. They don’t deserve it. But this is saving Klal Yisrael from terrible things in the future.