Betzalel Goldman gives a Daf Yomi in a big shul in Bnei Brak. One day, some people told him that he’s boring, and they enjoyed hearing someone else who gives a better Daf Yomi. The very next day, some other people told him how they enjoyed his Daf compared to a substitute that sometimes gives it instead of him. The substitute was within earshot when they said this!
He spoke to a Novardoker about his experience. He was asked: “What did you appreciate more? The Kavod you got, which is: אָבַּה םָלוֹעָל קֶלֵח וֹל ןיֵא וֹריֵבֲח ןוֹלְקִבּ דֵבַכְּתִמַּה at the expense of someone else’s shame, for which you lose your Olam HaBah, or the Bizayon you got, which is truly a Matana (gift) Min HaShamayim since it purifies you from your sins?”
Meir Kleinstein was speaking to one of the most Chashuva people in Lakewood, and this person gave him such a compliment that he thought he was almost a Lamed Vav Tzadik. He felt great, especially when hearing such a compliment from a “big name” in Lakewood. Exactly two weeks later, the same person belittled him to such a degree that he felt worse than an ant!
The Novardokers are always making Leitzanus out of “almighty” Kavod. People don’t chap what a fallacy the whole deal is. Look how unreliable people are, and how the same person can say such extremely opposite remarks. You never know where you're standing, and: םיִביִדְנִב וּחְטְבִתּ לַא don’t rely on people!
R' Gershon Zatzal told me two Yesodos about Kavod. 1. Most things that bother people can be traced to nothing but Redifas HaKavod, but you are not aware of it, and you fool yourself in being justified in being upset. 2. The opinion of the people around you are truly meaningless, since people are totally Nogea in all their opinions. They follow their environments, and their opinion is 99% יוּלָתּ based on what they’ve been taught, and what makes them come out ahead. There is usually very little truth in what they think.
These days, people don’t even remember what they said yesterday. People with Sechel aren’t sensitive; there is so much energy wasted in wondering about other people’s opinions. It’s almost like wondering what the wall thinks.