In this week’s parshah, Hashem gives us the mitzvah of donating to the Mishkan: “Viyikchu Li terumah—And they shall take for Me an offering...” What is this “offering”? A terumah is something that has already been set aside for the recipient, but why would it have been set aside before it was needed?
The Chida explains the concept of terumah using the example of a rich man who keeps a store of coins already set aside for the poor in his pocket so that whenever someone approaches him for a donation, it’s easy for him to give because in his mind, the money has already been donated. The Torah is thus hinting to us that one way of overcoming our reluctance to give generously is to set aside money for donations at a calm, unpressured moment when no one is asking for anything and there is no emotional contest going on. Then, when the tzedakah collector appears, it’s easier to go to that drawer or pocket and take out money which you are already emotionally disconnected from as “yours” and hand it over.
There are many things that are easier to accomplish when they are done in advance, or at least not in the heat of the moment. Knowing how to communicate effectively with others is more than just the words we use and the tone in which they’re spoken — it’s also about the timing.
Trying to get another person to see our point of view in the midst of an argument is very hard to achieve. If, instead, we anticipate the problem and talk about the issue calmly in advance, or, alternatively, we wait for the next calm moment, it’s much easier for that person to take the message well.