"If you accept leadership, you have to uphold it everywhere and in every situation." (Hagaon Rabbi Yisrael Grossman zt"l)
My father zt"l went to the United States in 1918 on the mission of the sages and rabbis of Jerusalem, to arouse our brothers abroad to extend a hand and help to the Torah and chesed institutions in Jerusalem. When he arrived in America, he realized that the kashrut situation was deficient [in those days, there was still no properly organized kashrut system]. Knowing that he would have to wander from place to place throughout the United States, and not everywhere he would be able to obtain kosher foods that were strictly kosher. He stood up and received a strong and firm decision: not to taste meat or dairy foods on American soil! And so, during the long years that he lived in the United States, no meat food entered his mouth, and he did not taste a single drop of milk all these years. For his subsistence, he made do with olive oil that he brought with him from the Land of Israel. His important sister, Mrs. Chaya, would bake bread and challah for him, and he underwent many tests when he was determined not to deviate from his bounds and not to violate the promise he had taken upon himself. Sometimes this harmed his personal dignity, and sometimes the purpose of his coming...
He was once invited to a sit-in in an important community in Los Angeles. In those days, there were no planes for domestic travel within the United States, so traveling from New York to Los Angeles by train took nearly two days. On Wednesday afternoon, my father boarded the train heading to Los Angeles, and in the middle of the trip, he remembered that he had forgotten to take the bread and challah that his sister had prepared for him, and had to make do with some of the vegetables and fruits he had. He traveled by train for nearly forty-eight hours. Hungry and exhausted from the long journey, he arrived at the home of the host rabbi on Friday afternoon. The rabbi received him with respect, showed him his designated room that he had prepared in his honor, also brought it into the kitchen, and presented him with the special dish that they had prepared in his honor: a well-seasoned roasted goose whose pleasant smell fills the kitchen space.
Abba zt"l thanked the Rav for all the trouble they took for him, and especially for the delicacy they prepared in his honor, but said: I am sorry to disappoint you, I will not be able to taste the goose because I have taken it upon myself not to taste meat foods anywhere. Although I do not doubt, God forbid, the kashrut and adornment of the Rav, I cannot violate my Kabbalah on the grounds of 'no flug'. The rabbi, who maintained his manners of respect, blushed. He was furious and immediately ruled that if the honorable guest did not prepare to eat the roasted goose, then the goose was liable to go into freezing for another occasion. He reasoned that it was impolite for the owner of the house to delight in the pleasures of fattened swans and chickens, and for the guest to watch from the sidelines... My father tried to persuade him not to pay attention to him and to give up his honor, but he was not convinced.
On Friday night, when he was standing in prayer, he was seized by a binge, and he was on the verge of fainting. After he returned to the rabbi's house, he made kiddush and washed his hands for the meal, and behold, the Rebbetzin came in and placed a huge tray on the table, on top of which was fish cooked in cream, arranged, and tastefully arranged... Oh, Master of the Universe, what can we do! What a difficult situation he found himself in, what a difficult trial he has come to. All these years he has passed the test and has not touched any meat or dairy food, and here is what he will do, if he says one word about eating the fish... Then it is clear to him what the results will be. On the other hand, he may still give up this time, on a one-time basis, the Kabbalah.
Thoughts raced back and forth, but within a few minutes, my father had reached a clear and strong decision and said to himself, "If you get leadership and acceptance, you have to make sure that it is fulfilled everywhere and in every situation," even though he knew very well what was going to happen as a result of his words.
Father got up from his chair and asked for permission to speak, and thus said: I would like to ask forgiveness from the rabbi and the rebbetzin. You may feel upset, but what can I do when I cannot deviate from the habit and acceptance I received, not to eat meat foods, and also not to eat dairy foods... At first moment, the Rav and the Rebbetzin were stunned. But soon the Rav jumped out of his seat as if bitten by a snake, lost his temper, and began to hurl harsh words at Father. No words of justification or asking for forgiveness helped; Father was forced to leave the house in disgrace, begged that he would only be allowed to recite Birkat HaMazon over the kezayit he had eaten, and so he left the house and went out to the deserted street. Father looked up to the heavens and thanked God for withstanding the difficult test. In order to strengthen his spirit, he repeated to himself the words he had thought in those moments before he said what he had said: "If you accept leadership, you must observe it everywhere and in every situation."
