GREAT DISPUTES
Chazal say that when discussing Torah, two people, even a father and son or a Rebbi and his talmid, can appear to be fierce enemies, yet in the end, they reconcile out of their love for each other and harbor no hard feelings. This can be seen from Beis Hillel and Beis Shammai who, despite their Torah disagreements, freely arranged shidduchim with each other and lived peacefully together.
(קידושין ל ע"ב, יבמות יד ע"ב)
During the time of the controversy between the Alter Rebbe and the tzaddik, Reb Boruch of Mezhibuzh, one of the Alter Rebbe's chassidim wanted to step in and prove his Rebbe's righteousness. The Alter Rebbe did not allow him to get involved.
Some time later, the Alter Rebbe reminded him about this and said, "If you think this was a simple machloikes, you are mistaken. This was a continuation of the machloikes between Shaul HaMelech and Dovid HaMelech."
(שמועות וסיפורים ח"א ע' 44)
HOLY WARS
Although the chassidim of Vilna suffered during the time of the great machloikes, they constantly tried to bring about peace and did not respond to their tormentors. At one of the meetings of the chassidim, in the year תקנ"ו (1796), some of the learned young talmidei chachomim among them decided that at this point they must begin to fight back. The chossid Reb Meir Refoels, who for many years had worked on keeping the peace, argued against this. Reb Moshe Meizels sided with the younger group and, deeply pained by all their past suffering, used strong words against his opponent.
Hearing about this, the Alter Rebbe immediately dispatched a messenger to tell the younger group that although in principle they were right, they must nevertheless act with middos tovos and ahavas Yisroel – for this was what would ultimately cause the Name of HaShem to be glorified. Later that year, the Alter Rebbe also wrote a letter to Reb Moshe Meizels, asking him to publicly ask forgiveness from Reb Meir Refoels, "For Chazal teach that no peace will come from quarreling, and most tzores result from machloikes that is thought to be leshem Shamayim. (May HaShem protect us from it!)"
(אג"ק אדה"ז ע' פ, שם ע' תלה [מליקוט י"ד כסלו תשל"ט ע' 150], ספרי דברים רפ"ו)
The gaon, Reb Yonasan Eybeschutz, once said: The yetzer hara will bring about machloikes by convincing a person to be zealous for the sake of HaShem. One must therefore carefully weigh one's own actions, even in a machloikes leshem Shamayim, because the yetzer hara will try to steer the machloikes into negative directions.
(יערות דבש דרוש ה)
How can a person tell whether in fact his intentions are purely leshem Shamayim?
The Shelah HaKadosh advises that one should judge this according to the way he feels towards the other person in all other areas. Only if he loves him entirely, can the machloikes truly be described as being leshem Shamayim.
The Rebbe explains: The heart of kedusha is unity. Therefore, a true machloikes leshem Shamayim will lead to full harmony. By contrast, the core of kelipa is strife. Hence, even if the yetzer hara dresses himself up in a zaidene zupetze, a pious-looking silken kapote, and convinces a person that his current machloikes is being conducted leshem Shamayim, if it is causing the opposite of ahavas Yisroel it is obvious that it is coming from kelipa.
(של"ה, התוועדויות תשמ"ה ח"ג ע' 1911)
AT ALL COSTS
Reb Yehudah Hachassid writes that one should not quarrel over serving as chazan, even if the community will instead send someone who is unworthy. Those who are in charge will be held accountable.
The Alter Rebbe paskens that one should not quarrel over performing a mitzvah. As we find about the lechem hapanim, that the refined kohanim would step aside to avoid quarreling with the aggressive ones who grabbed the bread, even though it was a mitzvah midoraisa.
(ס' חסידים סי' תשנז, שוע"ר סי' נג סכ"ט)
One young chossid would daven before the amud in a shul where the minhag was to wear a talis for Mincha and Maariv. Knowing that the minhag Chabad is to not wear a talis then, he was unsure of what to do, and presented his question to the Rebbe.
The Rebbe replied that despite the vital importance of our minhag, he should certainly avoid machloikes, and if they are insistent on their minhag, he should comply with them.
(אג"ק חט"ז ע' יב, צז)
A talented chazan arrived in the town of Kemfna and the townsmen wanted to appoint him as their baal tefilah. Knowing this man to be lax in the observance of mitzvos, the local Rov did not agree to give him this holy position. The townsmen did not relent and they insisted that this man be appointed.
Foreseeing the imminent machloikes, the Rov sent the question before Reb Yosef 'Hatzadik', the son-in-law of the Noda BiYehuda and the Rov in Posen, asking what he should do. Reb Yosef's answer was quick in coming:
"It is better to erect a 'tzeilem in the heichal' and avoid machloikes amongst Yidden! State your opinion pleasantly, and if they don't listen do not fight them."
(מופת הדור ע' צ)
CONSIDER
Why is it laudable to yield to the other side for the sake of peace? Shouldn’t one stand strong in his values?
How does one know when to yield and when to stand firm?
