I used to know a couple who grew fruit trees together. They lived to a ripe old age.
Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind getting older, then it really doesn’t matter.
An old Holocaust survivor dies and goes to heaven. At the gates, while processing his documents, G-d says "I hear, in life, you were quite the funny man. Go on, tell me a joke while I take care of this."
The man proceeds to tell a rather crude Holocaust joke. Unsettled, G-d says: "That's not funny, that's cruel." The old man shrugs and replies: "Well, I guess you had to be there."
I called the incontinence hotline recently. They asked if I could hold.
A Jewish man lies on his deathbed, surrounded by his children. “Ahhhh,” he says, “I can smell your mother’s Rugalach, how I would love to taste it one last time before I die.” So one of his sons hurries down to the kitchen but he returns empty-handed. “Sorry, papa. She says it’s for the shiva.”
Father to his son: "You know why I call you sun? 'Cos you are so bright!!!”
How does a snowman get to work? By icicle
