As a young child, Shmuel Sespnor found learning very challenging. Barring in his pain, his father, Reb Yoel Tzvi, called him aside and told him a personal story that took place when he was a child that he’d never told anyone. He was willing to disclose it all in the hope that it’ll serve as an inspiration and assist Shmuel in his motivation to persevere in his avodas Hashem:
Arriving alone in Eretz Yisrael, I found myself confronted with an unexpected challenge. While all my classmates from Europe had gone off to study in university, I had a burning passion to learn in a yeshivah. For months on end, I pleaded with my parents to go overseas to learn, but my idea wasn’t met with much favor. They believed that I must learn a profession, and going to learn in yeshivah wasn’t what they dreamed for their beloved child. But after seeing my perseverance, their hearts softened, and they halfheartedly gave me permission to go ahead with my life’s desire, and they wished me well when I departed.
After I arrived in Eretz Yisrael, I had to arrange for myself entrance exams. My parents weren’t there to do so for me. So, here I was, this new immigrant in a new culture, finding myself having to deal with getting into yeshivah — on my own. But that was just the first half. The harder part was being faced with rejection. After taking the first entrance exam, I was told that I was not accepted. The hanhalah explained that their yeshivah wasn’t cut out for me, and that another yeshivah would be more beneficial for me to fill my potential. I tried a second yeshivah, but again I heard the same song and dance.
I was heartbroken. I had made it all this way, and now all I was facing was rejections?! That’s not why I made the arduous trip. Despite the denials, though, I wasn’t going to allow myself to fall into despair. I was strong until that point, and I wasn’t going to let myself break. I kept trying, sure that I would find a yeshivah that would be just right for me. I took several other exams, but no matter how many refusals I confronted, I didn’t allow the misery to get the better of me.
Walking down the street one day, a friendly boy noticed me, as I must’ve seemed a bit out of place, and he approached me. We chatted for twenty minutes while I related to the stranger the reason for my arrival in Eretz Yisrael and my many rejections.
Hearing my plea, my new “friend” advised me to take an exam in the yeshivah in Kfar Chassidim. “The mashgiach is Reb Elya Lopian,” the new friend told me, “and I advise you to take a test there. Even if he won’t accept you into his yeshivah, he’ll be able to guide you as to where you should proceed. But before the test, choose a few blatt Gemara to learn, and learn them well. That way, you’ll have something to present at your exam. That’ll be a good incentive for them to accept you into their yeshivah.”
Over the next week, I took the first five blatt of Mesechta Beitza and learned them many times. I reviewed them until I knew them thoroughly. At the exam, Rav Lopian asked me if I had a shtikel Torah to offer, but I replied in the negative.
“Do you have anything to put forth for the test?” asked the Mashgiach.
“Yes. The opening blatt of Mesechta Beitza.”
The Mashgiach posed some questions, but he very quickly realized that I wasn’t able to respond with the answers. Even the simplest of what he asked I left unanswered. Then he asked, “So what do you do with an egg that’s laid on Yom Tov (the first and most basic halachah in the mesechta)?”
Anxious over getting rejected, I thought for a moment and replied: “You make egg salad.” (It’s one of the Shabbos courses, but that’s not what the Mishnah says.)
Stroking his clean white beard, Rav Lopian elucidated, in his soft voice: “Truth be told, that that’s not what the Mishnah says, yet from your imagination, I can see that you contain ‘sechel ha’yashar.’ When you forgot the words of the Mishnah, you began to imagine what the Mishnah would have said, and based on that, you offered your answer. From where your imagination led you to, I see that you hold ‘sechel ha’yashar,’ and that is the primary qualification for limud haTorah. The doors of this yeshivah are opened wide for you, and I’m sure that you’ll succeed in your Torah learning.”
The Mashgiach sent two boys of the yeshivah to go to where I was lodging and assist me with transporting all my belongings. Over the next several years, I took the passion that had been brewing within me all that time and never let it go. I spent the entire day in the beis medrash filling my most inner desire — “Shivti b’veis Hashem kol yemei chayay.”
By the time I left the yeshiva, I had finished all of Sedrei Nashim and Nezikin, along with all the Tosfos. Those words of the Mashgiach echoed in his mind ever since he accepted me into the yeshivah, and I lived up to what he believed I had in me.
While putting his hand around his shoulder, Reb Yoel Tzvi told his dear son: “The Mashgiach is no longer with us to tell you those words. But let me tell you, if he told me that, he would surely tell you that too. Whatever minimal amount mindpower you think you have, I had less, and yet he reassured me and gave me that confidence. Now it is my turn to give that to you. You have what it takes to succeed, and by perseverance and determination, you’ll prosper.”
