The Chofetz Chaim Foundation published a true story about how quickly lashon hara can impact a person’s life, especially in the age of smartphones. One hectic Friday in Brooklyn, community men and women were doing their usual last-minute pre-Shabbat preparations by scurrying like frantic mice from one store to another.
Paying $132 for a Gorgeous Rack of Lamb
Rabbi R. was at the local butcher, picking up a gorgeous rack of lamb for Shabbat. “That'll be $132 please,” the butcher said. Unfortunately for Rabbi R., there was a nosy woman behind him, and her ears perked up at the unusually large sum for an unusually fancy piece of meat that the rabbi paid for. She whipped out her iPhone, snapped a picture, and started frantically texting her friend.
“OMG! I just saw Rabbi R. pay $132 for a rack of lamb for Shabbat!” she texted her friend Chana, who quickly posted the “breaking news” on Instagram. 686 followers instantly saw the post and started commenting. Rabbi R. was a modest rabbi at the local yeshivah, and speculation was rapidly getting out of hand.
“We can barely afford chicken for Shabbat, and this guy’s buying a rack of lamb? Something's not right here!” Sarah soon tweeted. “Should we speak with the school principal about this?” Michael replied.
The Questionable Purchase Turns into an Attack on Rabbi R
“I went to school with Rabbi R., and I always felt there was something weird about him,” Moshe texted. In an instant, the attack on Rabbi R.'s questionable purchase transformed into an attack on Rabbi R. himself. “I was set up with his son for a shidduch, and Baruch Hashem, it didn't work out,” Rina replied.
Like wildfire, the scandal was spreading fast. Phone calls were being made from New York to Los Angeles and Miami. “On Monday morning, we need to meet and get rid of this guy. He’s obviously doing something fishy to have so much money,” Jimmy posted. “My sister's brother-in-law's next-door neighbor's mother lives two houses down from him, and she says that family lovessss food! A little too much if you ask me!!” Jaclyn texted.
The Rabbi’s Wife Starts Getting Complaints
In 20 minutes, the lashon hara reached massive proportions. It got so out of control that a woman from Los Angeles actually called Rabbi R.'s wife and complained to her, demanding to know why they were eating racks of lamb on Shabbat. The rabbi’s wife was really upset when her husband finally returned home 10 minutes later.
On the way home, however, Rabbi R. made a stop at a friend's house and dropped off the meat that he asked him to pick up for their daughter’s sheva berachot the following night. He thanked him gratefully for saving him so much time, and paid Rabbi R. for his order. “Of course! I’m always happy to do a favor for friends,” Rabbi R. happily responded, as he headed home empty-handed.
By the time he got home, his wife was flustered and upset by all the phone calls and accusatory texts she had to deal with. Rabbi R. was only out of the house for 30 minutes. In that time, his reputation had been completely ruined. In only 30 minutes, hundreds of people found out that he picked up a rack of lamb at the butcher. In only 30 minutes, his career had been destroyed potentially beyond repair. In only 30 minutes, he no longer had any friends. The worst part was that it was a complete misunderstanding when he was, in fact, doing a chessed.
As Deadly as a Gun
Lashon hara is bad enough when it’s done from person to person. It is as deadly as a gun. But lashon hara through social media and texting is like an atom bomb. The damage is irreparable. There are two lessons we learn from this. First, always think twice before judging a situation. We never know all the factors involved, even if we personally witness it happening. Second, never share questionable information about anyone, not over the phone, and certainly not online. It could literally be destroying someone's life.
Reprinted from the Parashat Tazria 5784 email of Jack E. Rahmey based on the Torah teachings of Rabbi Amram Sananes.
