The cemetery in the town of Sic (Szek) welcomed us in silence. The ancient headstones peek put from the green moss grass. We arrived there on that morning as part of a trip to Romania to visit our roots, to visit the kever of the grandfather whose name I bear, Rav Yaakov Dov Marmurstein, zt”l, whose 93rd yahrtzeit falls on this Shabbos, Parashas Achrei Mos.
I approached the matzeivah and began to read the letters, but nothing could have prepared me for the surprise. “פה תידום עין יעקב” I read on the headstone, “Ish tam veyashar tzaddik tamim, yerei Hashem kol yamav, Moreinu Harav Yaakov Dov ben Baila, talmid muvhak l’haGaon Moreinu Harav Yehuda Assad. Meis biyemei ziknuso, mispar yamav א“צ shanim.”
I felt a shiver of emotion. “91 years...”! There’s no need to explain the significance of the number 91 to anyone who has crossed the threshold into the world of answering amen. Amen is numerically equivalent to 91. א“צ is also the acronym of ‘צ אמן– the number of amens that a Jew needs to answer each day. Amen and 91 are one and the same.
In the next line, I read the date when my grandfather passed away, on 26 Nissan 5691, and again I was deeply moved to find another 91 – two on the same matzeivah, exactly like the numerical value of his name, as יעקב is twice 91, or twice amen.
There is no happenstance in the world. The family at the time certainly did not make the effort to note the fact that my grandfather passed away at age 91 for no reason. It’s relatively unusual to write the age of a person on his matzeivah. There is only one explanation, and that is that my grandfather Rav Yaakov Dov was careful about answering amen, and his children found a modest and clever way to allude to this on his matzeivah for posterity.
Suddenly, in one moment, it all crystallized for me: I realized where my father, Rav Chaim Bentzion, z”l, the grandson of Rav Yaakov Dov, had drawn the special awe that he had for answering amen, and his strict adherence to answer amen after the Birchos Hashachar that me and my brothers said each and every day. By doing so, he imbued in us from an early age the importance of amen.
He received this from his grandfather, Rav Yaakov Dov, zt”l, under whom he grew up, who had surely learned to be strict to answer amen from his rebbi muvhak, Harav Yehuda Assad, a talmid of Harav Mordechai Banet, about whom his son, Rav Yaakov Banet wrote (Toldos Rabbi Mordechai [Ofen 592] p. 18):
“He was always...one of the first ten people, and he heard Birchos Hashachar from each and every one of those who came to his house in order to answer amen after them, and then he himself said the brachos in order, in a pleasant voice, with kavanah, before the shaliach tzibbur began the tefillah.”
“Zeide,” I stood in front of the matzeivah with wet eyes, “I am your grandson, Yaakov Dov, who has baruch Hashem merited to establish Bney Emunim to strengthen the answering of amen in Klal Yisrael. Zeide, your tradition has been passed down from generation to generation. Your caution and hiddur in answering amen that you imbued in your children and grandchildren, has now become the lot of the entire Jewish world, and it’s all in your merit.”
But that was not the only thing I understood at that moment. The Mishnah in Maseches Kiddushin (39b) says: “Anyone who does one mitzvah receives goodness and has his days and years lengthened and he inherits the land.” The Yerushalmi (ibid 1 9) explains that the Mishnah is referring to a person who “took one mitzvah and made it special to him and never transgressed it in his life.” This refers to someone who took upon himself to fulfill one mitzvah in every situation, without failing to do it ever. Because he is moser nefesh for the mitzvah, he merits that as a result, he is given goodness, his days are lengthened and he inherits the land.
The Netziv (Devarim 6:1) adds that one who takes upon himself extra caution in one of the mitzvos will also gain a benefit in the chinuch of his children because “they will also learn to be invested in a certain mitzvah, when they see it from their father.”
These two things were present with my grandfather: In the merit of him being strict to answer amen, about which Chazal promised (Brachos 47a) the merit to “have his days and years lengthened,” my great grandfather Rav Yaakov Dov merited to live a long life of 91 years, equivalent to amen, which at the time was considered to be a ripe old age.
The second part of the Netziv’s words also came true b’chessed Hashem, on a practical level, because as I noted, I learned to be cautious about answering amen – and am so invested in this lofty subject, baruch Hashem - from his grandson, my father Rav Chaim Bentzion, zt”l – who, as the Yerushalmi says “made this mitzvah special for himself and never transgressed it all his days.”
May these words be in memory of my great grandfather Rav Yaakov Dov, whose yahrtzeit is this Shabbos. And I call upon you, dear readers: Choose to be strict about answering amen. Recite Birchos Hashachar bechavrusa every single day. It’s a mitzvah that, on the one hand, is easy and simple to carry out, and on the other hand, the children and grandchildren will notice it, and it will penetrate their soul. By doing so you will merit, b’ezras Hashem, that the flame of pure emunah will burn in your children forever.
Good Shabbos
Yaakov Dov Marmurstein
