By Yair Weinstock
Yossi Milevsky* was an average, wholesome 20-year-old. Not brilliant, not the “best learner” in his yeshivah, not dynamic. Yet he possessed a heart of gold, sterling middos, and would make a model husband one day. But in the world of shidduchim, in which only the “best” boys are recognized, Yossi was considered “inferior goods.”
Coming from a chassidishe family in Yerushalayim, with two sisters close in age right behind him, Yossi, and his parents, felt the despondency of not being offered even one remotely relevant suggestion. One day, a shadchan called. She suggested Ruti Nudel*, the daughter of R’ Meir Nudel, an outstanding talmid chochom, who learned all week in a distant town, arriving home only for Shabbos.
At the Very Last Minute!
R’ Meir agreed to allow Yossi to meet his daughter, based on the descriptions of his sterling character. Yossi and Ruti met, and the two mothers were ready to conclude the shidduch. Then at the very last minute, Mrs. Nudel’s sister-in-law, hearing about the prospective match, wasted no time in phoning Mrs. Nudel.
“What,” she demanded, “has your wonderful talented Ruti done to deserve a weak boy like Yossi Milevsky? Yossi learned together with my son in cheder for seven years, and he excelled in only one thing: a complete lack of excellence! Is Ruti, Heaven forbid, a cripple? Don’t you understand that this match is simply unsuitable? Ruti is a talented girl, outstanding in every area, while Yossi Milvesky is, to put it plainly, mediocre. What were you thinking?”
A Destroyed Shidduch
Mrs. Nudel, shaken, asked what else her sister-in-law could tell her about Yossi. Straining every brain cell, the other woman came up with insignificant things when taken in context, but which in this case loomed large as mountains. Within minutes, the two women had finished off their conversation – and the shidduch.
That night, Yossi Milevsky stayed home. He and his family had been all dressed and ready to travel to the Nudel home for the l’chaim. Then, out of the blue came the phone call. “We want to think about it a little more,” Mrs. Nudel said. “Let’s not rush into anything.”
The simple words burst their bubble. There were no dramatic heart attacks or fainting spells. But anyone who has ever experienced a shidduch falling through at the last minute will never forget the pain, humiliation and bitterness. Aside from a few isolated individuals, no one knew about the proposed and rejected match. And Ruti? She did not suffer from this in the least. She continued to receive abundant marriage suggestions.
The Announcement of Ruti Nudel’s Engagement
A few weeks later, the Milevskys noticed an announcement in the newspaper. Ruti Nudel had become engaged to an outstanding bochur. About a half hour before the vort was to take place in the Nudel home, another shadchan, knowing nothing of the impending engagement, called the Nudel home to suggest a shidduch for Ruti – none other than Yossi Milevsky!
Ruti’s younger sister answered the phone. She wrote down the information for her mother: “Yosef Milevsky, 21 years old, as full of good qualities as a pomegranate is with seeds, modest and refined, not brilliant but with a heart of gold. I think it’s a match made in Heaven for Ruti.” She gave paper to her mother, who was carrying fine glasses on a tray.
When she saw the note, her hands began to tremble; the tray crashed to the floor. She held an emergency private consultation with her husband, who ran to their Rebbe for guidance. But he did not ask with all the pertinent details. The Rebbe advised them to proceed with the current shidduch. Before the week of Sheva Brachos was over, Ruti ran home. Her husband had mistreated her. A year later she received her get. The Milevskys heard of the news, but they were not the sort to triumph in another’s downfall.
A New Group Came to Bake Matzos
Pesach was approaching, and Yossi, for years, had worked in the Matzah Bakery. That year, a new group came to bake matzos. They especially requested that Yossi work with their group, as he had a sterling reputation. The group’s leader was R’ Meir Nudel, who supervised every step in the process of baking. He was especially impressed with Yossi, who was quick and efficient, was careful with every halachah, and seemed to be a wholesome young man.
He was patient with the children’s questions, and when Yossi was called away, R’ Nudel looked into the mishnayos that Yossi learned during breaks and saw that he had undertaken to learn for childless people who had passed away. Curious as to his name, he found it written in the Mishnayos – “Yosef Milevsky.”
It seemed familiar. Then it hit him, and R’ Nudel nearly fainted away. He had been the boy they had rejected for Ruti, and who was suggested on the evening of the vort of the failed match! When R’ Nudel asked the head baker for his opinion of Yossi, he responded that if he had a daughter, he would grab him – such a heart of gold, such refinement, such gentleness!
Without knowing it, the baker served as Yossi’s final shadchan. A short while later, the shidduch between Yossi and Ruti was successfully concluded. (Excerpted from the ArtScroll book - Holiday Tales for the Soul)
Reprinted from the Parshas Shemini and Parshas Tazria 5784 emails of The Weekly Vort.
