A man once came to pour out his troubles to the Rebbe. His daughter had unfortunately strayed so far from Judaism that she wanted to marry a non-Jew. Her father begged her not to inflict such pain on him, but to no avail. He therefore decided to tell her that if she went through with the marriage, he would cut off all contact with her. The Rebbe heard the man out and empathized with his pain. After thinking the matter through, he said: “My opinion is that you should stop discussing the issue with your daughter. Don’t try to force her hand by threatening to cut off contact with her. I will advise you to do one thing,” continued the Rebbe. “Tell her that you want the engagement party to be held in your home, and that you want the non-Jewish man’s entire family to participate, with no exceptions. The party will not take place until everyone can come. Prepare a lavish meal with abundant food and plenty of liquor. With G-d’s help, everything will work out fine. Just keep trusting Him.”
On the day of the party, the gentile fiance’s entire family arrived at the Jew’s house. They sat down to the extravagant meal, all the while joking boisterously. Those present stuffed themselves with food and drink as though they were in a saloon, until they were completely inebriated. In their drunkenness, they began to swear and curse the Jews. The father stood at the side and wiped the tears that streamed down his face. His daughter sat at the head of the table, and there seemed to be no difference between her and the rest of the guests. Eventually, everyone got up and went home. The turning point came a few hours later. The daughter turned to her father. “I regret everything,” she said. “I want to call off my engagement. I was born a Jewess, and so I will remain for the rest of my life.” Needless to say, her father was ecstatic, and tears of joy replaced the tears of pain he had shed earlier. He asked no questions, but ran to the Rebbe’s home in order to thank him for the miracle that he had performed.
The Rebbe was thrilled at the good news. “Please,” he said, “sit down and let me explain why your daughter had a complete change of heart. Know that a Jewish neshama is always on a higher level, no matter how far a person has strayed. Your daughter’s soul cannot stand lowliness and lack of values. I knew from the start that even if she married him, she would find him insufferable once she became familiar with his way of life. What a shame it would have been for the wool to be lifted from her eyes only after her intermarriage was a fait accompli. “Liquor is one of the things that brings out a person’s true colors. That is the reason that I advised you to make the party for the entire family - in order to give your daughter the opportunity to see their true ways within a short period of time. And that is exactly what happened.”
Yisroel Safrin author. As featured in the Monsey Mevaser 'Klal Personalities' series.
