At the beginning of this week’s parashah, Rashi teaches us that Midyan and Moav had been sworn enemies, but they put aside their differences to work together to defeat Klal Yisrael due to their fear of them. We can learn a very great lesson from this. When two people have a disagreement, they will hold onto their gripes and resentments—as long as they remain in their respective corners. Once they emerge from their comfort zone to a place of mutual interest—for example, they share a certain dilemma and they must find a way out—they arrive at a place their hatred has never reached. They’re in common territory.
Let’s look at it as though they’re residing in a multi-story building. Midyan and Moav are on the ground floor, and they’re living in seething hatred of each other—but this hatred doesn’t ascend to the upper levels. However, since the two never go up to the second floor, all they know is their old hatred.
What happens when they suddenly face a dire threat to their lives? The fear and the worry compel them to run upstairs, and once there, they meet each other cordially. Shalom aleichem!
No Need to Break Barriers
We learn from here that when, chas v’shalom, there’s a disagreement between Yidden, the entire לבבות פירוד is only on the “ground level.” As soon as they ascend a bit higher, such as in times of desperation and distress, we immediately see all the barriers fall away. Every Yid will come to the aid of another Yid, and their ahavas Yisrael is revealed in all its strength.
So long as a person remains on the “lower level,” preoccupied with smallness and pettiness—”this is mine and that is yours”—there can be separation. As soon as he elevates himself a bit, there’s no separation at all.
Regarding the Torah’s commandments in the interpersonal realm—mitzvos such as כמוך לרעך ואהבת and תטור ולא תקום לא—one may say, “What can I do? I can’t topple the barriers. They’re built of concrete blocks ten feet high. Everyone has already tried to bring peace between us, to no avail.” Says the Ribbono shel Olam to this person, “You know what? You don’t have to topple the barrier. You can leave it right where it is. I will show you how to ascend to a place where there are no differences or divides.”
There’s Always a Level
This is what a person must understand in every situation of separation between Yidden. Let’s concede that this person wronged you. Granted, he didn’t behave properly toward you...the barriers reach the second floor... yet there’s always a higher level where the dispute and the strife don’t reach—for each of our neshamos emanates from the same exalted place.
Indeed, if there’s a greater conflict and discord is greater, Hashem expects a person to ascend to the fourth or fifth level. A person must get there, and he can get there. If the Torah commands us אחיך את תשנא לא בלבבך, you shall not harbor hatred to your brother in your heart, this means that you can ascend to the fifth floor, a place where there’s no separation.
No Need to Shatter Disputes
Sometimes, a person will say, “You think I can resolve this bitter dispute?! It’s been ongoing for fifty years! More than fifty years! You don’t know the history here. Furthermore, I’m a small and simple person. How can I stand against such a great and fiery fight? I don’t have the tools for it.”
The answer to this person is: No one asked you to resolve the fight. You can leave the barriers right where they are. This path in avodas Hashem or another... this person is right or that person... leave everything in place. Just elevate yourself above it all. There you’ll be able to sit together, because there are no barriers in that place.
Divides in the Most Exalted Place on Earth
When we think about it, we will find something fascinating: The Beis HaMikdash was the heart of all of Klal Yisrael—the nerve center where every tribe was able to come and find their place with the Ribbono shel Olam. If so, one would think that since the Beis HaMikdash unites everyone, the Ribbono shel Olam will surely say: This isn’t the place to divide between Yidden; the Kohanim to sacrifice the קרבנות, the Leviim for the Avodah of song...the Yisraelim to stand and observe... what’s the difference? They’re all Yidden anyway.
But this was not the case: Every Yid had to remain carefully in his designated place—the Yisraelim were constantly warned not to trespass where it was forbidden, and only the Kohanim could perform the Avodah, and only at specific times. We see that time and place and nefesh occupied an important place—specifically in the Beis HaMikdash, the most exalted place on earth. Anything that occurred outside the proper time and place could result in the punishment of kareis. This is an astonishing phenomenon. One would think that in the Beis HaMikdash we would see everyone eating together from the korbanos... united in friendship and brotherhood.
Different Attire Is No Reason for Strife
The wonder goes even further. In Maseches Menachos we learn that if even a small tear occurred in the כהונה בגדי, the priestly garments, worn by the Kohen, he was considered a בגדים מחוסר, lacking the proper attire, and subject to severe punishment (either kareis or death at the hands of beis din). Again, it begs understanding: Is this the place to insist on the outer layers of attire? In such a holy place, should we be preoccupied with external matters? Why does it matter which kind of hat he wears? The main thing is that he’s a Yid!
Indeed, from this we see an incredible thing: When a person is on a higher level, he has no difficulty accepting that everyone in the world has a different calling and mission. The Kohen with his Avodah, the Levi with his song, and the Yisrael with his observing. This doesn’t bring any divide or separation. To the contrary—he understands that from all the individual Avodos comes one beautiful and complete Avodah for the Ribbono shel Olam. It is impossible to offer the korban without the presence of the Kohen, the Levi, and the Yisrael.
Every person who comes to the world has a different mission, according to his נשמה שורש. One with Torah, one with avodah, and one with gemilus chassadim, etc. This person cherishes one mitzvah, and another person feels connected to another mitzvah—but these are all only לבושים, outer layers. A לבוש means a set of tools with which the person executes his specific mission. Up in Heaven, there are no לבושים. There, everything reaches a complete state of oneness, for everything really emanates from one exalted place. Here, in This World, a person receives לבושים as a vehicle to attain דביקות and connection.
Different Elements Create Harmony
Often, when we encounter a person with different levushim or attire than our own, we tend to be on edge.... We feel like telling the person, “You may be very distinguished, but go to your own people, to your own community. You’re not one of ours....”
The reason for this feeling is that we’re distant from the Beis HaMikdash. We’re at the lowest level, a place where every difference creates separation. But when we ascend to the Beis HaMikdash, the levushim remain—but we embrace the differences! “How wonderful is it that you came,” says the Kohen. “I need to bring the korbanos, and I need a Levi to sing!” Without this, the korban wouldn’t arouse people to teshuvah.
Embracing Differences
When a person ascends to higher levels, he begins to see the complete picture. He understands that the Ribbono shel Olam gave him this mission, and his friend has a different calling. He understands that without each of them, the Shechinah cannot rest in Klal Yisrael, and none of us could attain דביקות.
If the nations of the world could put aside their differences when push came to shove, how much more so could Yidden—who are one at their very core—surely unite as one. A Yid understands that to achieve גאולה there must be ישראל אהבת—and this requires ascending to the highest level.
When a Yid engages in Torah and tefillah with ביטול, automatically, no strife and differences will remain. People think that we need to appoint great activists to bring peace and unity between Yidden. There’s no need. When Yidden do teshuvah and ascend to higher places, all barriers between them cease to exist.
