This week we learn about Bilaam who is described as being on the same level of prophecy as Moshe Rabbeinu. In giving him such powers, Hashem intended to prevent the non-Jews from being able to claim that, “If only we had a navi like Moshe, we would behave just as well as the Jews.”
The Rebbe R’ Bunim of Peshischa points out that while Bilaam was as great a prophet as Moshe Rabbeinu, the non-Jews could still protest that whereas Moshe was good, Bilaam was evil. Perhaps if they had been given a good navi, they would have turned out better.
To answer this, the Rebbe R’ Bunim relates a journey he made to Berlin in search of an eye doctor. He stopped a non-Jew in the street and asked him for a recommendation, and the man told him enthusiastically about a “miracle-working doctor” who could heal “anything.”
R’ Bunim’s reaction was that if he wanted a miracle-worker, he would do far better to visit the Kozhnitzer Maggid. When it comes to matters of health, he explained, while in the past Am Yisrael was able to go to a tzaddik for healing, today we are generally required to act within the natural guidelines and go to a doctor — in which case, we should seek out a doctor who is the best according to natural standards.
Similarly, Hashem gave the non-Jews a prophet like Bilaam in order to silence their complaints. They had the opportunity to follow a “natural” leader which ended up badly for them — and they had no grounds to protest that if only Bilaam had been pure and holy, they too would have been. After all, they had the chance to believe in the prophecies and miracles which came via Moshe Rabbeinu, and they chose not to believe, opting instead for the superstition of Bilaam, which showed that they had the capacity to follow a prophet but not the willingness to follow a prophet of Hashem.
Often, you’ll hear a spouse make a similar complaint: “If you’re capable of caring about other people, why don’t you care about me? If you were truly busy then I could understand, but if you do have extra time why am I the last on your list?” Whenever we’re confronted with such a complaint, it should give us pause for thought and prompt us to ensure that we really are available for our spouses.
On the other hand, it’s important for the person feeling sidelined to realize that even if someone spends a great deal of time helping others, it might not mean that they care more about those others. A husband who is devoted to his parents, or a wife busy with chessed projects, doesn’t necessarily care less about their spouse. It’s simply that he or she may care more about the good feeling they get from helping others, or consider this something they do for “themselves.”
While such a situation also has room for improvement, seeing things this way can lighten the hard feelings and also offer new insight into one’s spouse and their need to feel appreciated. Spouses do need to be there for each other regardless, but it’s important to acknowledge that people are allowed to make time for themselves as well, even if the way in which they do so involves giving to others beyond the family.
