Talmidim of Ner Yisrael felt that the Rosh Yeshiva loved them as a father loves his son. He took an active interest in their needs, listened to their problems and shared their burdens. They, in turn, became greatly attached to him. His relationship with his talmidim was very much predicated on an explanation of Chazal on the pasuk “and you shall teach them to your sons”. Chazal say that sons are referring to talmidim. “Why, then,” the Rosh Yeshiva asked, “did the pasuk not write, “and you shall teach them to your pupils?”
“In order to teach us,” he explained, “that talmidim are akin to sons. Just as a son never stops being a son, neither does a talmid stop being a talmid. A Rebbe must never imagine that his talmid is beloved to him only when he is under his tutelage, receiving his guidance and instruction and that when this period comes to an end, so does the special relationship. The truth goes far beyond this, for upon becoming a talmid he becomes a son of his Rebbe. Even when he embarks on his own path, he should remain a son; the bond should not weaken.” This is the way in which the Rosh Yeshiva interacted with his talmidim. Talmidim who visited him after intervals of ten years or more still felt the same warm relationship they remembered from their years in Yeshiva.
His emulation of the Alter was not simply in treating his students as children; rather, it was in all facets of chinuch. He would try to handle each of his talmidim in a manner suited to that individual. When it came to delivering rebuke, Rav Ruderman would explain that if he would dare speak to his students in the way the Alter rebuked even the greatest Baalei Mussar publicly, they would have fled the Yeshiva instantaneously. In fact, when the Rosh Yeshiva found it necessary to rebuke the whole Yeshiva, he would speak very positively even while calling the talmidim to task.
Rav Ruderman often cautioned that dealing with bochurim is dinei nefoshos, a matter of spiritual life and death, and cannot be taken lightly. There were instances when members of the Yeshiva’s Hanhola thought that a specific bochur should be expelled. The Rosh Yeshiva consistently held firm to his convictions, explaining that one never knows what the future holds for such a talmid; perhaps with a bit more patience he would develop properly. By and large, he lived to see his position vindicated.
From the manner in which the Alter cared for Rav Ruderman’s every need, he learned that it is every Rosh Yeshiva’s obligation to deal with every aspect of his talmid’s life, spiritual and material. The talmidim of Ner Yisrael all attest to their Rebbe’s exceptional care and concern for them. He served as a source of strength, inspiration and advice when they were beset with problems. Regardless of the difficulty or complexity of a situation, the Rosh Yeshiva could always be relied on for the requisite counsel and comfort. Throughout the years there were many bochurim who came to the Yeshiva as refugees or from homeless and troubled backgrounds. They found a home in the Yeshiva and a father in the Rosh Yeshiva.
In addition, Rav Ruderman loved his talmidim and took great pride in those talmidim who entered the great profession of Melamdei Torah. The clearest proof of this love and pride was his almost regular referral to the verse in Doniel (12:3): V’hamaskilim yazhiru k’zohar horokia, umatzdikei horabim kekochovim l’olom vo’ed. Rav Ruderman would cite the comment of the Maharsha that says, “Just as the stars and moon are in the sky throughout the day, even though they are not seen, so too the teacher remembers and ponders his students even years later.”
