While it may seem at times that all of this threatens to ruin your relationship with your parents, I would like to stress that this definitely need not be the case. This is even more true here, where you describe your parents as dedicated and loving.
While your parents may never entirely come to terms with the fact that you are doing certain things that they disapprove of, this doesn’t need to define your entire relationship with them. In order to make sure it doesn’t, you have to keep the focus on other areas where things are calm, and also seek out ways to give them positive feelings.
There’s no need for your parents to gain the impression that you no longer respect them at all, and you should do what you can to avoid them getting that impression. This could mean asking them for advice in non-controversial areas, and then thanking them and telling them how much their advice helped. And it doesn’t have to be fake at all. You can genuinely try to engage and show respect in any area that you can.
People often don’t realize how many opportunities they have to give their parents the good feelings they deserve, and how they can connect and build the relationship with them. It’s a shame when one contentious issue unnecessarily places a strain on everything. Because contentious issues naturally get more attention than areas where things are smoother (especially if your parents see you as defiant of their wishes), you might want to go out of your way to tell them about times when the example they have always set of following Torah guidance even when it’s hard gave you the strength to do the right thing, and so forth. You can also share with them things you or your husband have done that they will appreciate hearing but might not notice otherwise.
