A Person Who Loves Kavod by Nature Needs to Go to The Extreme Against It
Why does Bilam say that he envies the: יְשָרִּ ים upright? The Netziv at the beginning of his Sefer on Chumash says that the Avos were: יְשָרִּ ים upright since they understood and were compassionate even to the worst Reshaim (like Sedom); they weren’t narrow. We can also suggest like the Rambam says that a person should be normal (יָ שָ ר balanced) and not extreme.
However, the only way your Middos become balanced is if you first go extreme against your Tevah (nature) for bad Middos. A Baal Ga'ava type has to be an extreme Anav, and an Anav type has to practice lots of Romemus. Bilam loved Kavod by nature, and he should have gone to the extreme against it.
Being a: יָ שָ ר Yashar (balanced person) is a beautiful thing, but you won’t get there unless you work hard by going in the extreme opposite direction of your nature, until you straighten out to be in the middle. (Rambam). The Seforno says that the reason why we throw: עֵץ אֶרֶז וְאֵזוֹב cedar wood and Aizov grass into the burning Parah Aduma, is to teach that a feeble type of person (like grass) should work on being tough and strong (like a cedar). And a big shot type needs to become an Anav. What does “breaking Middos” have to do with Parah Aduma? And why is a person who touches a Meis (dead person), Tamei? What’s wrong with touching a Meis, especially if you’re involved in a Mitzva?
Our Main Tachlis Is to Be Alive by Breaking Our Middos and Natural Tendencies
We can suggest that having to do with a Meis symbolizes the opposite of our main Tachlis. The Gr”a says that: עִּיקָר חִּיוּת הָאָדָם שְבִּירַת הַמִּדוֹת וְאִּי לֹא לָמָה לוֹ חַיִּים the main point of life is Shviras HaMiddos. The person who touched a Meis has to remember: וָחַי בָהֶם וְלֹא שֶיָמוּת בָהֶם Hashem wants us to be alive, and a person’s Ikar Chi'yus (lifeblood) is breaking Middos.
Those who go against their Tevah are happy people. They stay young since they are fighters and they enjoy going against their grain. You enjoy it more when you are in a Mussar Yeshiva that’s always admiring and appreciating and schmoozing about the importance of Tikkun HaMiddos.
A person who works on his Middos is always going against his Negi'a and his desires, unlike Bilam HaRasha. A Parah Aduma perhaps symbolizes red blood which means life, because: כִּּי הַדָם הוּא הַנָפֶש ראה יב כג blood is the essence of life, and shpritzing the blood of the Parah Aduma also symbolizes life.
Also the ashes and: מַיִם חַיִים spring water that were used can symbolize fire (ashes) and liveliness (מַיִם חַיִים live water). A person “on fire” is a person with Chi'yus (life) which Mussar B'hispa'alus causes. Having fire and Chi'yus is the best way to overcome bad Middos. It is also a major Derech in Avodas Hashem, like R’ Avigdor Miller Zatzal said we must fight fire (of the Yetzer Hara) with fire, i.e., of Torah and Mitzvos done with Geshmak.
Being A “Frum” Type Isn’t Always a Ma'ala
Bilam davened that he should be like the: יְשָּרִּ ים Yesharim (upright). He didn’t say "Tzaddikim " or "Chasidim, " because being a: יָ שָ ר Yashar is exactly what he was missing. The Netziv says that the Avos were: יְשָרִּ ים Yesharim because they were nice to their enemies, i.e., they had Shviras HaMiddos and going against their Tevah; this is what Bilam lacked.
He had plenty of spiritualism, being a Navi, but he lacked the trait of being Yashar—upright and balanced. R' Shneur Kotler Zatzal would always say in the name of R' Yisroel Salanter Zatzal, that the only way to: מְהַפִּךְ רַע לְטוֹב transform yourself from bad to good is through Limud HaMussar.
