Part II. The Road of Seeing
Policing the Peripheral
We’re learning now a very important detail in this Torah principle of “In the way in which a man chooses to go, they lead him.” Because we see now it doesn’t have to be something so overt. It’s an attitude of wanting, rotzeh; of hankering for something. And if you want so you’ll be attuned to opportunities – you’ll see things that you would have missed altogether if you hadn’t been looking for them.
There are ways of perception, of perceiving facts and objects that we are not always making use of. For example, there’s such a thing as side vision. Healthy people have side vision, peripheral vision – they see out of the side of their eyes. The eye doctors say that if your side vision is blocked, then it’s necessary to go to a physician to have your eyes examined because it could be chalilah a bad sign. Normal healthy people have side vision.
But just because you have it doesn’t mean it’s being used. You won’t see the things on the side unless you’re looking for them. A policeman, let’s say, who’s traveling a lonely beat at night, so not only is he using his eyes but he’s using his side vision too. He was trained to do that and he’s always practicing because he wants to know who’s in the corners and the alleyways. It doesn’t mean that he’s looking to the side but even without turning his head he already has that awareness. He’s attuned to his surroundings and he sees things that the ordinary person wouldn’t notice.
Police Academy
Somebody once described to me a detective’s course. The students were sitting in the room and the instructor was teaching them and suddenly the door pushed open and a lunatic rushed in and he attacked the teacher. In front of the class! The students were taken by surprise. They were aghast! The whole thing was over in a second. There was a short scuffle and then the man got up and ran out.
Then the teacher turned around to the students and said, “Describe what you saw.” The whole thing was a put-up scene. “Describe the assailant,” the teacher said. And as many students as were there, that’s how many different descriptions of the assailant there were. It’s because they hadn’t been prepared to see. They weren’t looking for that.
And so, the instructor taught them that their job is to always be on the lookout for details. What kind of suit did he wear? Or did he have a jacket at all? What kind of trousers did he have? What kind of shoes? What kind of a necktie? Could you catch the color of his eyes? How tall was he? Compared to the mark on the wall or the window, how tall was he? All these details would be noticed by a professional because the things he’s looking for he’s going to see.
Opportunities for Improvement
So even before any teaching of the Gemara it’s a truism that a man is led to those subjects - that type of knowledge - that he’s interested in. There are a lot of things that we would notice if we were interested in seeing them. And so it’s common sense that people find what they are looking for. It’s an axiom of nature – if you’re looking for something, then you’re going to discover it. It doesn’t mean if you look for gold that you’re going to discover gold but you’ll discover things.
You know, you could practice that for five minutes. Let’s say when you walk out in the street tonight, right after you heard these humble words that were said here, so if you’ll be wide-eyed you’ll see opportunities. You have here a lot of people who live in Boro Park, far away. It’s cold tonight and it’s hard to get transportation. You have a car. Look around. Whom can you take home tonight? You came here for a good purpose and they did too. It’s all good people here so ask around. That’s a glorious opportunity, to take people home. You save them sometimes an hour traveling, waiting for two buses on cold street corners, and they’re lonely corners too; and because of you they can be home in fifteen minutes. And so if you’d want enough, if you’d want to be an ish chessed, a Jew who loves his fellow Jews, so you’d see the opportunity. And once you start on that path Hashem will help you even further. But you have to start looking.
The opportunities are unlimited but Hakadosh Baruch Hu is not going to force them down our throats. It’s up to us to use our free will to use them. You have to look.
Because what do you think? That every opportunity is going to be labeled with a big label “THIS IS YOUR CHANCE! FIRST AID TO BECOME BETTER!” or whatever it is? No! It’ll come in some inconspicuous manner and it’s up to you to be on guard, to be on your toes and to seize it as soon as it comes.
Opportunity for Shalom
Now that’s the great lesson we learn here, that we have to keep our eyes open for things; it might come in from the side, but if you’re a rotzeh you’ll see it with your peripheral vision. You’ll see opportunities and you’ll seize them. And think that over because opportunities come all the time.
Let’s say that you came to a wedding and you find yourself seated next to the man you like the least. He happens to be your landlord from the old neighborhood where you lived and you suffered a great deal from him. What he suffered from you, you’re not so aware of. And so you’re thinking, “How crazy are these people who arranged the seating cards! Don’t they know that I can’t stand this person?!”
Now on any other day you would never even come close to this fellow – you cross the street when you see him. But now that you’re there anyhow, you’re thinking, “Maybe this is what Rabbi Miller was talking about, to look for opportunities. Don’t I always tell my wife that I want to make shalom with him? I’m always saying that I’m the good guy, that I want peace. So maybe I should keep my eyes open now and grab the opportunity.”
But because you’re not really a rotzeh, a ‘wanter,’ so you’re too embarrassed to say something and so you make believe you didn’t see him and you find another seat. Oh, what a tragedy! What a missed opportunity.
But if you learned tonight’s lesson, you’ll say, “Yes, I’m going to do it. Hashem is sending me an opportunity to become friendly with him again. And even though it’s silly that just because of a mixup with the seating I should give up all of my sober calculations that I had against him, I'm going to seize the opportunity.”
The Cold War
Which means that as silly as the opportunity might be, we shouldn’t disdain it. We should run through every opening that’s being offered to us in order to become better. Here’s a man who has practically not spoken to his wife for a year-and-a-half. A tragedy. A cold war in the house. And both of them realize that they are ruining their lives. They both know it; they want shalom. Otherwise every day is Gehenom. But how do you break the ice? It doesn’t even occur to them that they should. They know it’s wrong, but they don’t see any way out of the impasse.
And now her mother died. Ooh! That’s a glorious opportunity. If he would break down and shed some hypocritical tears, that’d be a glorious opportunity. He’d make himself busy at the funeral. He’d offer her consolation. He’d go out and buy things for her, flowers—although it’s not necessary, it’s not right, but who cares? It’s an emergency! He’s going to utilize that opportunity.
Or even if it’s something much less. Let’s say she broke a vase. It happens sometimes in the house. She was hanging curtains and she fell down and broke the vase on the dining room table. There’s a glorious opportunity to make peace if he’ll say the right words.
Discovering Opportunities
Or if he lost his job. So if the cold war continues, so she pours some more ice on him and says, “Look, it’s your fault. I told you for years and years you weren’t acting right with the boss. You don’t act right with anybody! It’s a wonder they kept you so long.”
But if she would rise to the occasion – it’s a gift from Heaven this occasion, this misfortune – if she would hurry to his side and say, “Joe, don’t worry. We’ll stand by you. You always were a good husband, a good provider. Hard luck everybody has but you’ll be restored. Sooner or later you’ll get back again to a better job,” then everything could be mended. There could be a reconciliation and if they had sense they could live happily forever. They could live happily anyhow, but they have to utilize the opportunities. And once opportunities are seized, Hakadosh Baruch Hu helps. He fulfills His side of the deal and He’ll lead you even more.
Now that’s the process that applies to any kind of mental attitude. So when a person tries to be an oived Hashem, as I mentioned before, opportunities will come up that will give him a push in the right direction. But he has to be wide-eyed, looking for it. Maybe he’ll find a good chavrusa or a friend to study mussar with. That’s a big find by the way, a partner who will help you become better. He might even find some tzaddik or a big talmid chochom who will guide him with advice and encouragement in the right direction. It happens.
Discovering the Tzaddik
You know the story, how Rav Yisroel Salanter became who he was. When Rav Yisroel was a boy there was an elderly man in his town, Rav Yosef Zundel. He was considered a plain balabus. Reb Yisroel writes that he once saw there was a case in the town when one of the neighbors in the town stopped Reb Zundel, “Reb Yosef, I'm thinking of buying this horse from the goy. You know anything about horses maybe? Maybe check it out for me?” What did Rav Yosef Zundel do? He opened the horse's mouth and looked at the jaw; he inspected all the teeth to see if it's a good young healthy horse, and he gave his opinion. He was considered a plain man.
Now, Rav Yosef Zundel had a queer habit of taking walks outside the town by himself in the fields. And the townspeople thought it was an idiosyncrasy; that's his way. But Rav Yisroel Salanter as a bachur was a mevakesh and he was looking; and he saw something different about this man. Rav Yisroel noticed that Rav Yosef Zundel was talking to himself. So he started following him and trying to get close to listen to what he's saying.
One day Rav Yosef Zundel noticed that this young man was following him. “Young man,” he said, “You want to be a yorei Shamayim? Learn mussar!” Rav Yisroel said that it entered his heart like an arrow. And he became one of the greatest men in the world as a result of his ratzon – his eyes that were open to opportunities.
That’s the great secret of ‘in the way that a man wants to go, he’ll be helped.’ It means that you have to utilize the stimuli that come along. If you are genuinely interested, then you’re going to find various opportunities along the path of your life, things which you’ll be able to utilize. If you didn’t have that interest, that desire, then you would have passed them by but because you’re interested, so you’ll see them. You’ll discover those things that you’re looking for and you’ll discover them in wonderful ways.
