There are things about other people that a person notices naturally, and this what we discussed earlier. The avodah is to channel this information to help others and to love another person. If one channels it the right way, it will bring השכינה השראת. If one uses the information in the wrong way, it will “take him out of This World.” This is the first part of our discussion. The second part is: “Why would you directly cause aggravation to others, often those you love most?”
Now, this is very often a very sensitive topic where much thought, sensitivity, and balance are called for. As in the example of family gatherings quoted above, it’s very sensitive, because there are many benefits to coming together as a family. But there are hazards as well.
A person will ask, “What, I’m supposed to dress my children in rags?” This is understandable. This is a sensitive matter that has pros and cons. And the Ribbono shel Olam says to us: Before you do something, use common sense and sensitivity. Before you attend such an event, think about whether someone will be pained through you, and think about whether there is a way to avoid it. Proceed with sensitivity.
