Question: I travel a lot for work, often to places that don’t observe my level of kashrut. I used to bring my own food or stick strictly to what I knew was within my standards. Sometimes that meant eating very little. Over time, I became more lenient—I’ll now eat things without a hechsher, telling myself, “It’s probably fine, and I need to eat.” But I know it’s not right. I want to return to how I used to be, but I can’t seem to get back there.
Answer: Everyone faces spiritual challenges—some loud, some quiet. What they all have in common is this: they’re meant to lift us. A test isn’t a punishment; it’s an invitation to reach higher.
There’s a story about a young man who had been connected to a Chabad House but began turning down Shabbat invitations. The Rabbi, noticing the man seemed to be hiding something, gently asked what changed. The young man admitted he was planning to marry a non Jewish woman. The Rabbi made him a deal: “if you will travel with me to the Lubavitcher Rebbe and tell the Rebbe your news, I will attend your wedding.” The young man agreed.
When he stood before the Rebbe and explained, the Rebbe looked him in the eye and said, “You have no idea how much I envy you.” The man was stunned. The Rebbe continued, “A test is a ladder. The greater the test, the higher the person is elevated when passing the test. You were given a tremendous test and so too you were gifted with a very tall ladder. I envy you. I was never given such a test and therefore was not given the opportunity to ascend such a high ladder.”
The man left the Rebbe’s room, sat on a bench and cried. After an hour, he said to his Rabbi, “I’m calling off the wedding.”
As Rabbi Michael Taib explains, a powerful yetzer hara isn’t a sign of failure—it’s a sign of deep inner strength. The Rebbe Rashab taught that those with intense struggles also have elevated souls capable of overcoming them. The potential is already there. The test is only revealing it.
Your struggle with kashrut isn’t a sign that you’ve fallen. It’s a sign that you’re being called upward. The ladder is still there. All that’s left is to take the first step.
Aharon Schmidt, marriage & individual counseling: www.aharonschmidt.com.
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