In Shemonah Esrei we don’t ask for good children, which is surprising. There are brachos for parnassah and health; why not a brachah for nachas from the children? One gadol replied that for good children, one needs to pray in his own words so he can express himself more fully and emotionally. Rebbe Yissachar Dov of Belz zt'l said there is a request for good children in the Shemonah Esrei. It is implied in the words of Modim, לך נודה ודור לדור, "From generation to generation we will praise you..."
Hashem said to Yaakov Avinu (Bereishis 28:14), הארץ כעפר זרעך והיה, "Your seed shall be as the dust of the earth." A similar brachah was given to Avraham Avinu (see Bereishis 13:16). We can explain that hinted in עפר הארץ is that if one is עפר בלשונו מלכך, licks earth (the expression used in Tana d'Bei Eliyahu to describe intense tefillos), then he will merit good children. So, we can be confident that we have the power of tefillah on Shavuos. It is the day Hashem considers us His mother, keviyachol, and He does as we request.
Daven for Good Children
The Chasam Sofer zt'l said at the chasunah of one of his children, "Believe me, every day I shed tears that Hashem should grant me that my children should become greater than me. It should be (Devarim 30:5), מאבותיך והרבך והטבך, that your children will be better than their father." In our generation, it is especially important to daven for good children because we live in trying times, and there are great challenges.
Reb Michel Lefkowitz zt'l was in chinuch for many years. (My father learned by him, and so did I. Some families were his students for three generations.) Reb Michel zt'l said that he found an unusual, surprising pattern. Often, the child of the family who was the least successful in his youth becomes the most successful in his family later in life. For some reason, the outstanding child of the family is precisely the one who didn't excel in his younger years. His success might be in Torah, mitzvos, or business, but the pattern is that the one who seemed least likely to succeed ultimately outshines the others. Reb Michel added, "I don't know why it is so, but I think it is because the parents invested many tefillos for this child. They davened for all their children, but cried for this child, and their tefillos were answered."
The Baal Shem Tov said, "A segulah for good children is to wash in hot water every morning and night." He meant that parents should shed hot tears for their children at least twice daily. Rebbe Yissachar Dov of Belz zt'l said, "I don't miss a Shemonah Esrei to daven for my son, Aharele." Reb Aharon of Belz zt'l said, "How can we have good children if we finish a tefillah with our eyes still dry?"
Tana d'Bei Eliyahu Rabba (18) tells a story of a kohen who would daven every day, with all his heart and soul, that his children shouldn't sin, and his tefillos were accepted. We quote, "There was a kohen who feared heaven... He had ten children, six boys and four girls. Every day, he davened, bowed, pleaded, asked for compassion, and his tongue licked the earth that none of his children should ever sin or do something disgraceful... When Ezra brought the Yidden up from Bavel, this kohen came up with them, and he merited children and grandchildren kohanim and kohanim gedolim."
A man from an irreligious kibbutz, raised by nonreligious parents, did teshuvah. The Chazon Ish zt'l explained that this man’s grandfather cried bitterly when his son left the path. His tefillos didn't work for his son, but they took effect on his grandson.
