The Torah describes the formation of the Jewish encampment in the desert, with the mishkan at its center. On each side of the mishkan lived one of the three families of levi’im, with Moshe, Aharon, and their families on the fourth side. They, in turn, were surrounded by the rest of klal yisroel, with three shevatim on each side.
Medrash Tanchuma explains that the exact position assigned to each Shevet had far-reaching ramifications for their ruchniyus. For example, Shevet Yehuda, Yissocher and Zevulun merited being adjacent to Moshe and Aharon, and so they were influenced by these Torah giants, and themselves became great in Torah. On the other hand, shevet Reuvein were next to the families of Korach, and so they were influenced negatively and joined them in their rebellion against Moshe. This is an example of “oy l’rasha oy l’shcheino,” one who stays close to a rasha also shares in his fate. Similarly, the mishna (Avos 1:7) advises “harchek m’shachen ra’ah,” stay far away from an evil neighbor. This is true even if one does try to associate with him. Simply being in the vicinity of a wicked person has a strong effect on a person.
In parshas Lech-lecho, the pasuk says “And Hashem said to Avrohom, after he separated from Lot”. After Avrohom Avinu sent Lot away, Hashem spoke to him, implying that this was a novel event. Indeed, Rashi comments that as long as Avrohom was in the company of a rasha, he did not merit speaking with Hashem.
It is difficult to understand this as some form of punishment. Was Avrohom wrong for taking care of his nephew? In fact, the medrash cites an opinion that Hashem was displeased that Avrohom sent him away! If Avrohom made the proper choice, and Hashem wanted them to stay together, why didn’t He speak to him all that time?
Rav Sholom Shwadron explains that this is the overwhelming power of “oy l’rasha oy l’shcheino.” Even if it is the right thing to do, being with a rasha still disqualifies the person from attaining nevuah. It is not a punishment; it is a natural consequence. Hashem will not rest His shechinah in the presence of a wicked person.
Now, let us consider Lot’s spiritual state. We know that he was literally moser nefesh for the mitzvah of hachnosas orchim, ignoring the laws of Sedom and inviting guests into his home. The Torah also tells us that he was careful to eat matza on Pesach, even before the Torah was given. At the same time, the pasuk says “Lot journeyed from the east” towards Sedom. Rashi explains that this is a euphemism for Hashem, and explains that he was consciously travelling away from Hashem, saying, “I want neither Avrohom nor his G-d.”
Who is the real Lot? He eats matza, yet is not interested in a relationship with the Ribono shel olam?
The answer is that Lot did not want to travel towards Sedom, but he felt compelled to do so. He didn’t feel capable of living up to Avrohom Avinu’s high standards, and he couldn’t muster up the strength to fight his desires and instincts.
We see that Lot had first-hand experience with the terrible effects of a shachen ra’ah. Avrohom was deprived of his nevua because of their relationship! Yet, despite living with this awareness, he did not hesitate to move to the city of Sedom. Everyone knew that the people of Sedom were exceedingly corrupt. It should have been so obvious to him that it was far too dangerous to live there, and yet he went ahead anyway.
This is a truly a rasha! We must learn from Avrohom and not from Lot. If Avrohom Avinu himself is not safe from the perils of a shachen ra’ah, how careful we must be to make sure that we always stay in the company of righteous people, and stay away from places with negative influences.
Rav Elya Lopian learned in the Lomza Yeshiva, and he would tell of an old hospital that stood in that city. Even the oldest people around could not recall when the hospital building was built. However, the doctors there were experiencing a serious problem. There were many patients who would be admitted into the hospital for one sickness, but before they left, they had contracted another, rare illness! This scenario repeated itself time after time, and the doctors were at a loss to explain why this was happening. They decided to convene many great specialists for a special conference to deal with this troublesome issue. When these doctors completed their investigation, they came to a unanimous conclusion. So many patients had passed through the old hospital that the building itself had become a hotbed of germs and bacteria, and was spreading infections to all the current patients. The only solution was to raze the structure to the ground and build an entirely new hospital.
This is how far-reaching a physical illness can be. Can we even begin to imagine, Rav Lopian exclaimed, the effects of a spiritual ailment? When one sins, he poisons the atmosphere around him, and this can spread and affect others. This is the very real and literal manifestation of “oy l’rasha oy l’shcheino.” There are many tales of tzadikim who took great pains when traveling to avoid sleeping in the same place as anyone else, unless they could ascertain that they had sufficient yiras shomayim.
Rav Yochanan rules (Megilah 28) that it is forbidden to gaze into the face of a rasha, and the Maharsha explains that a person’s true inner self is also expressed in one’s outer, physical form. Whether one is a tzadik or a rasha, his face reflects his goodness or his wickedness. Rav Elya Lopian explains this process. The eyes themselves don’t have the ability to “see”. They merely capture the image that is before them, and then transmits them to the brain. In other words, the eyes are like a window to the outside world. Therefore, by gazing at a rasha, you don’t only see his external appearance. You open a conduit to allow external influences into your pnimiyus, and this can have a devastating impact. Even more frightening is the long-term effects of such images. A person might struggle with improper thoughts, and he will wonder where he came to think this way. Would he ever imagine that it was caused by his “shachein,” through his seemingly innocent interactions with a rasha at some earlier time in his life!
The letters of the word “chaver,” friend, also spell the words “cherev,” sword, and “b’rach,” to flee. Friendship is a wonderful thing, but it can be a double-edged sword. A friend can be dangerous, like a sword, and in such situations one must run away to avoid his influence.
This is a pervasive danger for all of us, but particularly for our children. Do we make sure to know who our children are playing with? Do we allow our children too much freedom to wander the streets and meet all sorts of spiritual threats? It is all too easy to assuage our conscience, reassuring ourselves that their friends are also fine Yeshiva boys and Bais Yaakov girls. Is this superficial argument really enough to assure that they are not subject to negative influences?
Furthermore, we can never be complacent when it comes to our children’s chinuch. In the moment, we may think that something is relatively minor, but it may eventually lead to far greater issues, and at that point, it may be too late. Chinuch begins from the moment a child is born, and the longer we wait, and just “let them be,” the harder it will be, if not impossible, to begin the process. When did we become afraid to tell our children a simple ‘No’? I observe homes where the child takes charge, and the parents follows along meekly, r”l, all to avoid upsetting their child. I have seen the products of these relaxed attitudes in my classroom, and it is heartbreaking to see parents realize the havoc that their earlier tolerance can lead to.
Of course, we must discipline with seichel, and it is always a good idea to consult with others when we are unsure what to do. However, our children are our responsibility, and this includes creating a safe environment for them, physically and spiritually. If we do our best to safeguard our precious possessions – our children, we will surely merit siyata dishmaya and endless nachas from them.
