By the Grace of G-d
28th of Av, 5740
Brooklyn, NY
Miss . . .
Montreal, Que. H3Z 2P8
Canada
Blessing and Greeting:
I am in receipt of your letter and may G-d grant the fulfillment of your heart's desires for the good.
With regard to the question of seeing the true way of life, etc., and your asking me if there is anything wrong for a man or a woman to find his or her own way - this is a surprising question, since the true way of life for a Jew has been set and shown and explained in the Torah, Toras Chaim, by which our people has lived ever since it was given us at Sinai. Seeing that you live in a city where there are many Rabbis and spiritual leaders who can explain to you what this Jewish way of life is, it would certainly be wrong to go searching in darkness.
Of course, there is a special satisfaction in finding things out for oneself, but this is a case similar to a situation where a person would say that he will stop eating and drinking until he finds out for himself how food and water sustains one's health; or the case of a person who, ignoring warnings that certain foods are harmful or poisonous, will nevertheless decide to indulge himself freely, until he finds out for himself. It would certainly be very wrong and illogical not to rely on authorities and experts in those areas, to which they had dedicated most of their life, study and research, claiming the right of man or woman, to find his or her own way. What is true of physical health is also true of spiritual health and with even more far-reaching consequences.
The above goes for all Jewish young men and women who go out searching for the truth in various cults, yoga and mystical philosophy where they are sure to find out sooner or later that they have been wasting their precious time and life in searching for the truth which has been right before their eyes all along in the Torah, Toras Emes. They are wrong also in thinking that since it is their own life, they can do what they like with it, for life has been given by the giver of Life to be lived in accordance with the way He set forth in His Torah and not to experiment with it recklessly, etc.
Much more could be said on the subject, but the above lines should suffice.
In summary, regardless of how you conducted yourself in the past, or what your approach has been, you ought to lose no time in ordering your life in strict accord with the Shulchan Aruch, and later on having the benefit of such an everyday life of mitzvos, the performance of which in itself deepens one's perception and insights, and having fortified your starving soul, if you will desire to learn more about the deeper meaning and aspects of the mitzvos, you could do so under the guidance of one who personifies this kind of life and is an authority on the subject. To argue about one's "right" in this situation, would be like a fish arguing that no one has a right to compel it to stay in the water if it wants to jump out of it on dry land and find out for itself what it would be like to live outside its natural element, and then it would decide what to do.
With blessing,
