Davening When We Are Close
In addition to the assurance that הבוטח בה’ חסד יסובבנו, by accepting the challenges with love, everything is transformed to kindness, bitachon elevates our tefillos to another plane, ensuring that they are ultimately accepted.
The reason is that we know—based on the Gemara in Berachos—that before asking for the future good, we must give thanks for the past.
By thanking for the past—having honed our bitachon to accept Hashem’s will—one becomes close to HaKadosh Baruch Hu. And when one is close, he is surely able to ask for his future needs, and surely the tefillos are accepted.
Drawing Down Shefah Through Gratitude
The Tiferes Shlomo explains this concept further, emphasizing that a person should always invest in giving thanks for what he has been given, and through this he is able to ask for chassodim for the future.
With this, he explains the pasuk הודו לה’ כי טוב, give thanks for it is good, כי לעולם חסדו, thus you will be able to ensure future kindness! We see this in the way the tefillos of Rosh Hashanah have been arranged: First we say מודים, expressing our gratitude, and ועל כולם יתברך, giving thanks and blessing for the good, and only then do we plead וכתוב לחיים טובים, write us in for good life.
Once you have given thanks for the previous year, now you can ask for the coming year. Once you have expressed your gratitude, and you have accepted everything that Hashem sent your way, you have become close to the Ribbono shel Olam, and now you can ask for the future goodness.
Pretending That Nothing Ever Happened
We can understand this concept with the following mashal:
Two people were involved in a strained situation, but now one of them needs a big favor, and the other person is the only one who can help him. One option is to pick up the phone, pretend that nothing ever happened, and cut to the chase, asking him for the favor. It is doubtful that his friend would do him the favor.
The second option is to be open with the other person. Apologize; explain that this shouldn’t have happened—as hard as this may be. “I am embarrassed about what happened, and I regret it deeply. Now I need a favor, and you’re the only one who can help me.”
After being open with his friend, he will usually feel closer to him than ever before, because the barriers have been removed and now he feels able to ask for a favor—and the same applies to our relationship with Hashem.
Speaking Openly to Hashem
A Yid wants to approach Hashem to ask for what he needs, but he knows that there were things that he did that he should not have. Sometimes, he will say, “Let’s not talk about this....”
But we don’t have anyone else to turn to! And we can’t pretend that nothing ever happened. The proper course is to speak openly to Hashem. “Ribbono shel Olam. I know that I didn’t behave properly, and the yissurim that I experienced were perfectly deserved. I stumbled because I have a yetzer hara, but I resolve to do much better in the future. I am coming to You now, because I need a yeshuah....”
Speak to Hashem! You will experience such calmness as a result. When a person is being open and forthright with Hashem, he will feel much more peaceful.
When One Is Close, the Tefillos Are Accepted
The Ribbono shel Olam has enabled us to understand how He has designed the world as we observe the world.
Above, it works the same way. When one removes the barriers, one becomes closer—enabling the tefillos to ascend, because the barriers have been removed.
Be open with Hashem! “I thank You, Hashem, for the challenges. I deserve these yissurim, and I accept them with love.” Express your feelings to Hashem! Then He will surely ask, “Why did you come? You need something? Of course, I want to help you!”
Alshich: “Without Acceptance, Tefillah Will Not Be Effective”
The Alshich HaKadosh, in Parashas Beha’aloscha, says these incredible words:
There are people who aren’t very wise, and when they experience challenges, they cry out, “Help us, Hashem, because we have no one else to help us.” But they are not helped, and their tefillos make things even worse!
Why? Says the Alshich:
Because they have not first accepted the gezeirah b’ahavah. They begin with “I want this,” or “I want the other thing.” He comes with his Tehillim before Hashem, but he doesn’t say first, “I did not behave properly. The difficulties that I endured were deserved—and they were surely good for me.” He ignores all of this and gets straight to his needs.
What happens to his tefillos? In Shamayim, they open the ledgers to see whether he deserves the shefah. But this person just keeps on pleading. (He is like a person who needs a favor from a wealthy person and begins knocking on his door in middle of the night, awakening the rich man’s entire family. When he doesn’t get an answer, he knocks even harder, annoying him even more!)
So too, such a tefillah only awakens the Heavenly prosecutors, who reiterate the faults of this person stating that he is unworthy of shefah.
This is not the proper way to daven.
Davening with Complete Acceptance
The proper way to daven is to first accept everything from Hashem, and to internalize that “Hashem is not suspected of exacting punishment without justice” (Megillah 13b). “The Ribbono shel Olam only does good, and I surely deserved what I received.” Of course, as we have explained numerous times, this is not the time to delve into our every misdeed and calculate just how much we deserved the challenges—rather, in general, we must acknowledge that if we experienced this situation, it was surely the best thing for us, and we must be thankful to Hashem for everything.
This is surely the best way to weaken the power of any Heavenly prosecutors who wish to awaken our faults and bring them to the fore—and this clears the way for our tefillos to be accepted. Once the מקטרגים have been pushed to the side, our tefillos will surely be accepted.
One Acceptance Accomplishes More Than Many Tefillos
The Chasam Sofer (Derashos Parashas Zachor, Vol. 1, p. 185) says:
One instance of accepting yissurim b’ahavah—repeating over and over that this is the best thing that could have happened—accomplishes more than many tefillos! When a person accepts his yissurim with love, and he doesn’t make calculations... [instead he] says, “If Hashem ordained things like this, then He surely had a reason for doing so. The Ribbono shel Olam is right, and I am mevatel myself for His will.” This accomplishes more than his tefillos! Because by acceptance of the ratzon Hashem, he becomes close to Hashem and brings the yeshuah upon himself much sooner.
With this, the Chasam Sofer explains the pasuk in Tehillim (22:2), רחוק מישועתי דברי שאגתי: Sometimes, the pleading may even distance the yeshuah, when it isn’t done properly. Because this kind of pleading can often be accompanied with the thought, “How long do I need to wait? I am davening incessantly!”
When a person davens a great deal but has not accepted the will of Hashem, he has not fulfilled the ratzon Hashem. The Ribbono shel Olam wants a Yid to offer thanks and praise for his tzaros, and in this way his tefillos will be accepted.
