How to TEXT with your grandkids:
- ATD– At the Doctor’s
- BFF– Best Friends Funeral
- BTW– Bring the Wheelchair
- BYOT– Bring Your Own Teeth
- CBM– Covered by Medicare
- CUATSC– See You at the Senior Center
- FWIW– Forgot Where I Was
- FYI– Found Your Insulin
- GGPBL– Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low
- GHA– Got Heartburn Again
Doctor Herskovitz is on his way to a dinner where he has to speak, and scribbles some notes for himself, but when he gets up to speak, he cannot read his own handwriting! In a panic, he scans the audience and says:
Is there a pharmacist in the house?
A woman convert to Judaism told the Rabbi she would do everything except put her head under water in a Mikvah. “Then you will be Jewish but keep your ‘goyishe kop’”, said the rabbi.
A kindergarten teacher educating her class about G-d asked her students to draw a picture of Him. One child drew a grandfather with a flowing white beard; another drew a mighty looking army general. One girl drew a picture of a scale. “Why do you picture G-d as a scale,” the teacher asked? “Because every time my mother stands on the scale, she shouts, “Oh my G-d!”
