Loud arguments were heard at Congregation Anshei Shazak during the Torah reading this week. “What’s going on here?!” stormed Mr. Herschel Haughty, senior president of the shul. “Aliyah #3 is reserved for important people, like... ahem... yours truly. This week, Parshas Bechukosei, however, NOBODY was called up to the Torah... no Ya’amod, no nothing! Instead, our Torah reader, Reb Berel Korei, made the blessing over the Torah. He read the portion speedily and quietly... probably so nobody would even notice that he ‘stole’ the Aliyah! The chutzpah! The nerve! The audacity!”
In an effort to calm the rattled crowd, Rabbi Shazakowitz explained during his weekly Shazak sermon, that Reb Berel was only following Jewish tradition. “Aliyah #3 is called the Tochachah – HaShem’s big and scary rebuke... the CURSES!” the rabbi said gazing at Mr. Haughty. “Would you, Reb Herschel, want to be called up for the rebuke?” “NO! Absolutely not! Out of the question! You gotta be kidding! Not me...”, responded Herschel. “No?! That explains why nobody is called up, rather we give the Tochacha-Aliyah to the one who has to be there anyway, Berel Korei, the Ba’al Korei, reader of the Torah.”
