The Impediments to Peace
The Alter Rebbe explains that the cause of machloikes is the narrowmindedness of being unable to tolerate another’s perspective; achdus comes from broadmindedness, the ability to accommodate two approaches to an issue.
Elsewhere, the Alter Rebbe writes that machloikes comes about because of a negative spirit that enters one’s heart, causing him not to trust his friend, despite that person’s friendship.
(מאמרי אדה"ז ענינים ע' פו, מאמרי אדה"ז הקצרים ע' תכט)
Another cause of machloikes: Instead of focusing on quarreling with himself in order to overcome his yetzer hara, a person diverts that energy to quarreling with others.
(אמרות טהורות ע' פ"א)
The Frierdiker Rebbe related:
After the mussaf on Shabbos, Parshas No’ach, תרנ”ט (1898), we began the Kiddush at my home at about twelve, hoping to have enough time to later attend the seuda of my father, the Rebbe Rashab. Suddenly, at one-thirty, he walked in and said that he had come to join us.
One of those present was the chossid, Reb Leib Velizher. True, he was an earnest yerei-Shamayim and did not act according to personal agendas, but he dealt harshly with others, especially with simple people.
Now, at that time his hometown, Velizh, was torn by a bitter machloikes, in which Reb Leib was a major player. Thus it was at this Kiddush that my father delivered the maamar known as Heichaltzu. Its theme is the destructive kelipa of Midyan which creates strife, inciting one Yid to quarrel with another. This kelipa is nourished by yeshus, the bloated sense of self-importance whereby one Yid cannot tolerate another’s existence, even though that other person has done nothing wrong.
(סה"ש תש"ה ע' 18, סה"מ תרנ"ט ע' ס)
Peace, Even at a Price
A shtetl called Pahar was broiling in a machloikes, and one of those involved was a chossid of the Rebbe Maharash called Reb Volf Levitin.
When he visited Lubavitch and the Rebbe asked him why he took part in it, Reb Volf replied by quoting from Tehillim, “With one who is crooked, act deviously.”
The Rebbe told him, “You may be right, but in the meantime you are becoming devious...”
(לקו"ס פרלוב ע' קמח)
After delivering a fiery sicha concerning a certain recent wrongdoing, the Rebbe warned those present that they should not cause further machloikes by pointing fingers at those who had been at fault.
“The existent machloikes is bad enough and one should not fan its flames... On the contrary: every effort must be made to extinguish it. Whoever pours fuel on the fire, and claims that it is water, is only fooling himself.
Anyone who heightens the machloikes is waging war against me! Conversely, one who wishes to cause me pleasure should endeavor to smooth away all friction and radiate ahavas Yisroel.”
(תו"מ תשמ"ז ח"ב ע' 494)
In a letter to one of the mosdos, the Rebbe laid down the approach to take in the event of a dispute:
“I am not pleased with disputes of any kind. But while standards of chinuch of course cannot be compromised, monetary issues do not warrant machloikes – especially since such disputes often arouse the desire of each party to triumph at all costs.”
(אג"ו ח"ו ע' רז)
The Way to Peace
We sometimes think that momentarily fighting out an issue will settle it and bring peace. Chazal warn against this by assuring us that no good or peace will ever be gained by quarreling.
(שמות רבה ל, יז)
The gaon, Reb Chaim Rapaport, the rov of the city of Lvov, was a great adversary of the Baal Shem Tov. Once, when he was learning alone in the beis midrash, a man walked in, and when Reb Chaim asked who he was, he replied, “I am mere dust and ashes (afar va’eifer).”
The guest then asked, “And who are you?”
Reb Chaim responded, “I, too, am mere dust and ashes.”
“If so,” said the unnamed guest, “why should there be machloikes between us...?”
Reb Chaim then understood that this man was the Baal Shem Tov. From that day on he became attached to him, and later fulfilled many significant missions on his behalf.
(רשימות דברים ח"ג ע' רעח)
Consider
Why is strife a result of the yeshus if people are actually quarreling over something significant?
Why is bittul the only path to peace? Why will arguing it out never bring positive results?
