There Are Heavenly Calculations for This Child’s Path
The Gemara and the sefarim hakedoshim teach a powerful yesod that illuminates the entire sugyah of bitachon, especially regarding how a person can accept—with serenity and emunah—when his children do not follow the proper path, R”l.
The Gemara tells the story of Chizkiyahu HaMelech, who did not marry because he didn’t want to bring children into the world. He later fell ill, and the Navi Yeshayahu came to visit him. “So said Hashem, ‘Take leave of your family, because you will soon die...’” (Yeshayahu 38:1). “You will be punished with death,” said the Navi to the king. “What is all this about?” asked Chizkiyahu. And the Navi answered, “It is because you have neglected the mitzvah of פריה ורביה, the mitzvah to bring children into the world. And for this you will be punished by being taken from this world” (Berachos 10a).
The Nevuah of Chizkiyahu HaMelech — The Ways of Hashem Are Concealed and Are Not Our Concern
To this Chizkiyahu HaMelech answered, “Do you know why I haven’t married and had children? Because I foresaw, with ruach hakodesh, that the children that I would bear would bring the opposite of nachas ruach to Hashem.
“What is the point of marrying and bringing children into the world when I can see that they will be bad children and cause pain to the Ribbono shel Olam?”
And the Navi answered, “לך למה דרחמנא כבשי בהדי, why are you mixing into the hidden affairs of HaKadosh Baruch Hu? You must do what you were commanded to do, and Hashem will do what He wishes to do! Even if you can foresee that the children who will come forth will be evil, you must still carry out the mitzvah you were commanded to do!”
The Evil Menashe Is Born
The Gemara relates the end of the story. Chizkiyahu HaMelech took the words of the Navi to heart and asked, “Please allow me to marry your daughter. Perhaps, in the merit of both of us, the children will indeed be righteous.” At first, Yeshayahu HaNavi declined, saying, “The edict has already been decreed.” But Chizkiyahu HaMelech was not discouraged. He said to the Navi, “Stop your prophecy and leave. I have received the tradition from my forefathers: אפילו חרב חדה מונחת על צוארו של אדם אל יתייאש עצמו מן הרחמים, even if a sharp sword hangs over one’s throat, he should not despair from Heavenly mercy.
In the end, Chizkiyahu did marry the daughter of the Navi, and two evil children were born to them. One was Menashe HaMelech who sinned himself and caused the Jewish People to sin, and he is counted in the Gemara (Sanhedrin 90a) among those who do not have a portion in the World to Come.
The Heavenly Ways Are Beyond Understanding
In this Gemara, we see a tremendous yesod that we must remember well: There are Heavenly calculations that we cannot understand! There are neshamos who must descend to This World with a very special mission, and it is not our place to involve ourselves in it! This is the way it must be, because the Ribbono shel Olam has ordained it so! בהדי כבשי דרחמנא לך למה?
There are mefarshim who ask about the expression למה דרחמנא כבשי בהדי לך: Was it really very hidden? Chizkiyahu HaMelech had ruach hakodesh, and he saw clearly what will transpire with his children—and this was indeed the way it turned out! Why do we call this “hidden”?
And the mefarshim answer that “כבשי” means deeply hidden; hidden from the understanding of even the greatest tzaddik: That is, no one can understand the secret of why the neshamos of resha’im descend to This World.
We Need to Do—Not Understand
Chizkiyahu HaMelech indeed knew what will happen, through his ruach hakodesh. But he did not know the secret of why it must happen... and thus, he sought to prevent it.
There is a hidden reason—כבשי דרחמנא—that HaKadosh Baruch Hu wants neshamos who will do the opposite of His Will to come down to This World. It is a terrifying thought; but this is the ratzon Hashem, and a person cannot fathom His reasons.
We must know לך למה דרחמנא כבשי בהדי? Every person must do what he was commanded to do—without calculations, and without mixing into the Heavenly cheshbonos. We cannot understand them.
In Shamayim, It Is Clear That Everything Will Be Good in the End
Hidden Neshamos of Tzaddikim
The sefer Ein Eliyahu on Berachos brings two peshatim on כבשי בהדי דרחמנא, enabling us to get a glimpse of understanding this greatly hidden phenomenon of the neshamos of reshai’im in This World.
The first peshat goes according to a Gemara (Bava Kamma 38a) telling us that although the nations of Ammon and Moav were brought into This World through sin, HaKadosh Baruch Hu nevertheless spared these entire nations because of two women that would come forth from them: Rus HaMoavia and Na’amah HaAmonis, from whom the David HaMelech would later descend, and from him will come משיח צדקינו.
Generations of Tzaddikim Came from Menashe
Often, HaKadosh Baruch Hu creates resha’im because of the tzaddikim who will later come forth from them. We see this clearly in the Creation: There is a Heavenly calculation for each neshamah—even those who sin—and only in subsequent years does it become clear that tzaddikim came from these neshamos.
This is what Yeshayahu HaNavi said to Chizkiyahu: למה דרחמנא כבשי בהדי לך, it is true what you see with ruach hakodesh—you will have an evil son. But your son Menashe will have a son Amotz, and Amotz will give birth to Yoshiyahu HaMelech, who will be called משיח ה'! You see only one part, but Hashem sees far further down the line to the neshamos of tzaddikim that are כבשי/hidden in this neshamah.
It’s All Worth It for the Teshuvah That Comes Later
The second peshat of the Ein Eliyahu: Often, Hashem creates the neshamah of a rasha only due to the pleasure Hashem will find in the teshuvah he will do later—a great level of teshuvah that will forge a new path of teshuvah that has previously never existed, as was the case with Menashe.
The Gemara (Sanhedrin 103a) relates that after Menashe HaMelech had transgressed so many severe aveiros, he desired to do teshuvah, and the pasuk (Divrei HaYamim 2 33:13) tells us, ויחתר לו וישמע אליו, HaKadosh Baruch Hu listened to him and dug for him. The Gemara explains the meaning of this digging: “This teaches us that Hashem dug a ‘tunnel’ for him in the Heavens in order to accept his teshuvah, which the Middas HaDin would have obstructed.”
The Yerushalmi (Sanhedrin 10:2) tells us that the Malachim clogged all the windows and doors to the Heavens, in order that Menashe’s teshuvah would not penetrate—and Hashem nevertheless created a tunnel beneath the Kisei HaKavod, accepting the teshuvah.
The teshuvah of Menashe was very unlikely to be accepted. According to the usual order of the Heavens, it would never have been accepted—but because of Menashe’s sincere teshuvah, HaKadosh Baruch Hu forged a new path in Shamayim so that the teshuvah of even such a brazen sinner could be accepted, now and in the future. Through the teshuvah of Menashe, a new מדריגה in teshuvah came into existence. This is what is meant by לך למה דרחמנא כבשי בהדי....
Teshuvah That Emanates from a Place of Deep Desperation
The Slonimer Rebbe, in Nesivos Shalom, explains this Gemara about the teshuvah of Menashe HaMelech: Just as there are hidden reserves of strength that come forth when a person is in crisis—when the person had no knowledge that these strengths even exist—so too, there are hidden reserves of spiritual powers that are revealed when a person is in a spiritual crisis.
When all the “windows and doors” in Shamayim have been hermetically sealed before a person, R”l, that is when the deepest path of teshuvah is opened up—when HaKadosh Baruch Hu digs a tunnel for us.
With this, the Nesivos Shalom explains that there are transgressions about which the Zohar HaKadosh tells us that there is no teshuvah that can be effective through the normal pathways. This is only true for “regular teshuvah.” But the unique teshuvah that emanates from the deepest place within a person could be effective even in such cases.
This was the teshuvah of Menashe HaMelech for which HaKadosh Baruch Hu opened up new pathways.
The Ribbono shel Olam Waits for the Subsequent Teshuvah
This is what Yeshayahu HaNavi told Chizkiyahu:
“Why are you making calculations that are none of your concern?! You need to bring children into This World. The fact that you see that they will be children who will not go on the proper path? לך למה דרחמנא כבשי בהדי? There are so many hidden cheshbonos that you cannot see or fathom!
“Perhaps it is the ratzon Hashem that the child should behave in this way, and you cannot fathom what kind of teshuvah will result from this.”
We Don’t Know What Is Happening Above
There are parents—Rachmanah litzlan—who go out of their minds from the terrible pain of children who do not follow the הישר דרך. They truly feel the צער השכינה from the aveiros that their children do—and it is truly a great tza’ar.
But as Yidden we must keep our wits about us and remember—in this nisayon, as well as in other nisyonos in life—we must do what is expected of us, and the Heavenly calculations—whether this brings a נחת רוח to Hashem or not—is none of our concern. לך למה דרחמנא כבשי בהדי.
The Serenity of the Ba’al Bitachon Even in Such Instances
Every aveirah of every Yid is terrible, to be sure. But in Shamayim there are other calculations to which we are not privy. Sometimes, a deeper teshuvah comes forth, and sometimes there are neshamos of tzaddikim that will come forth through this journey. Our mission is to do what we were enjoined to do. Other than that, we must leave everything to Hashem and His Calculations.
This is not to minimize the pain of these parents, but a Yid who truly lives with emunah and bitachon approaches this nisayon with the knowledge that he cannot control the Heavenly affairs—even when it seems terrible and involves dreadful aveiros. One can only do his part, and then, the ba’al bitachon will feel great serenity, secure in the knowledge that Hashem will bring about an even greater good at the end of this situation.
Remember: There Will Always Be Good at the End
Giving Thanks for the Pain
This approach applies to all aspects of bitachon, as the Mishnah tells us: One is obligated to give thanks for the bad that occurs just as one must give thanks for the good (Berachos 9:5). The question arises, how can one give thanks for something as terrible as having children who abandon the path of Yiddishkeit?!
There is the approach of the Rabbeinu Yonah on this Mishnah, who explains that one must give thanks for the pain that is caused by these children—bringing about the forgiveness of sins, as all pain does. Without looking at why Hashem has given him such children, there is simple fact that this causes terrible pain, causing his sins to be wiped away, and for this one must give thanks.
We Don’t Know the Endgame
But according to what we have discussed above, there is further reason to give thanks; even though it seems bad now, there is hidden good that will yet be revealed later. And it is this good for which we must give thanks.
Indeed, this is the approach of the Rambam in Pirush HaMishnayos on this Mishnah:
One is obligated to give thanks for the bad just as he does for the good—to accept it with joy just as if it were a good thing—because many things may seem good at first, but they turn out not to be very good, and then there is the opposite phenomenon; often things seem bad, but they turn out to be good for the person.
For many things are considered bad at the outset, and they bring great good at their end. Thus, it is not proper to become excessively sad over a tzarah or a decree, because one doesn’t know the endgame.
A wise person knows he must look beyond the immediate present, aware that he doesn’t know how things will turn out.
We See Only the Present
The Rambam is teaching us that everyone can fulfill the obligation to “give thanks for the bad,” because—although they may be witnessing clear bad with their eyes—there is the “secret” of כבשי דרחמנא, the hidden secrets of the future that are known only to Hashem, which may be revealed only 10, 20, or 30 years down the line.
If we think about the “now,” it indeed seems very bitter, and one is not necessarily ready to hear about the future. “What are you telling me? Don’t you see this terrible catastrophe before my eyes?! But the Rambam says: “Don’t look only at the present! The Ribbono shel Olam has a long game... there is the rest of the story that you don’t yet know.
When a Yid fulfills this obligation, and he is dedicated to this mission—this itself will bring about a good conclusion to the story, and this itself will elicit the hidden good that lies within it. Thus, one can truly give thanks even now!
The End Will Be Bright
The same yesod is said by many tzaddikim. The Pele Yo’etz (on the topic of yissurim) says, “Everything that happens is thought out by Hashem for the good. Sometimes we see it, and sometimes we don’t.” To this end, he brings the story of a person who missed the boat, and he was so broken by it that he cursed the day that he missed the boat. Then he found out that the ship sank, and he began to dance with thanks to Hashem.
Says the Pele Yo’etz: Don’t get so carried away with the here and now! Because, the way it seems now, it may indeed seem bad. But know that everything will turn out for the good. Don’t enter into the כבשי דרחמנא, don’t make the calculations of Heaven. Just know and trust that it will be good in the end.
“You Cannot See My Face”
The Chasam Sofer (Toras Moshe, Parashas Ki Sisa) says incredibly fundamental words that we must learn and take with us in every situation:
Sometimes we witness or experience exceptionally difficult situations, and we wonder “Why?” Why did HaKadosh Baruch Hu do this? What does He gain from all this terrible pain and suffering? What is the purpose thereof? Only after many years can we look back and see that there was a positive ending to the story—just as the story of the rasha Menashe concluded with the tzaddik Yoshiyahu.
With this, the Chasam Sofer explains the pasuk that Hashem told Moshe Rabbeinu when he asked to see Hashem: וראית את אחורי ופני לא יראו, you may see Me from behind, but you may not see My Face. וראית את אחורי, at the end, you will see and understand, however ופני לא יראו, one does not get to see it at the beginning. You don’t understand the cheshbonos Shamayim.
And this emunah is a tremendous kindness to us: Because, when a Yid believes that HaKadosh Baruch Hu is a טוב ומטיב and everything He does is for the good—and this belief is no contraction to the facts that he is witnessing now—he receives a tremendous reward for this emunah.
The Greater the Emunah, the More We Merit to See the Happy Conclusion
A Yid who possesses emunah and bitachon knows and believes that the Ribbono shel Olam runs the entire world, and he also knows that everything is for the good. And since he believes that 1) Hashem does everything, and 2) everything is for the good, he automatically concludes that “I cannot understand everything!”
Such a person declares, “There is surely a rhyme and a reason for everything, but since I see only one small angle of the story, I cannot possibly understand it in its entirety.”
Later, when Hashem shows the person the happy conclusion to the story, this is the reward for the trust and faith that he has placed in Hashem from the beginning. The stronger the emunah in the beginning, the more we will be able to see the happy conclusion at the end.
Avraham Avinu’s Reward for His Faith Under Fire
At the Bris Bein HaBesorim, HaKadosh Baruch Hu foretold Avraham Avinu the terrible things that will transpire for his children, including the 400 years of Galus Mitzrayim. Avraham was then promised that he would live to see Yishma’el do teshuvah, and he would be niftar before Eisav turned to evil ways, and he would not need to witness this.
HaKadosh Baruch Hu tells Avraham Avinu: Because you have trusted Me that there is a cheshbon for all of these yissurim, I will reward you in kind, as the pasuk says והאמין בה’ ויחשבה לו צדקה, and he trusted in Hashem and it was considered a kindness. Your reward will be that you will shown later why it was all for the good!
Feeling the Sweetness Is the Reward
In truth, all of Torah and Yiddishkeit works this way.
A person is expected to carry out the mitzvos whether or not he feels their sweetness; he does so because he wants to fulfill the ratzon Hashem—and therefore, Hashem will enable him to later feel the sweetness in the pnimiyus of the mitzvah.
The sefarim hakedoshim explain that this is the meaning of Chazal’s teaching, שכר מצוה מצוה, the reward of a mitzvah is a mitzvah (Avos 4:2): The reward of a mitzvah is to feel the sweetness of the mitzvah!
Because if people only do mitzvos that they understand and connect with, they are not being mevatel themselves to Hashem’s Will; they’re doing what makes sense to them, not out of a bittul to Hashem’s desire. A person on his own—with his human understanding— is not capable of absorbing the great light of the meaning and sweetness of the mitzvah.
Attaining the Great Light Through Bittul
If, however, one fulfills mitzvos without understanding—“I don’t know anything; but this is what I was commanded to do”—one has been mevatel himself to Hashem with the greatest bittul.
A Yid who feels ecstasy and fervor for the privilege of being able to fulfill the ratzon Hashem—even though he doesn’t understand the depth of the meaning of the mitzvah—becomes so mekushar to Hashem through the mitzvah. Thus, the mitzvah penetrates his entire essence, and the light of the mitzvah illuminates his entire world. Even without understanding it, he senses the great oros hidden within the mitzvah.
When You Believe That It’s Good, It Will Be Good
The same principle applies when it comes to סמא דיסורי קבולי, the remedy for yissurim is acceptance:
Often, parents experience this very deep pain which is so difficult to accept b’ahavah. But if a Yid is mevatel himself and he says: I don’t see any good here, but I know that good will yet emerge from here. Yes, it is hidden for the moment, but I believe that it’s there, even though I don’t know how, this Yid will yet merit to see a joyful conclusion to the saga!
Of course, this is an extremely difficult avodah. It is accompanied by torrents of tears and buckets of sweat. But in return, one is rewarded with seeing the positive conclusion. It is a middah k’neged middah, after all. You believed in the ending when you couldn’t see it; you will be rewarded by truly being able to see it.
The ba’al bitachon is able thank Hashem now, when things seem bitter: “Thank you Hashem for all the good that You will yet do for me. I thank You for this child and the beautiful generations that he will yet produce! I thank You now for the bright future!” He is able to do so because he truly believes that it will be so—as the Rambam teaches us the peshat in “one is obligated to bless Hashem for the bad....”
When one truly believes in the bright future, he is bringing that bright future closer through his emunah. His reward will be to truly witness the happy conclusion to what seemed at first like a bad situation.
