Challenges When Becoming Frum
Important things may be difficult to achieve; often the challenges loom greater than they actually are; Firm Resolve to not be discouraged; Clarity from the Shulchan Aruch | Shavuos lesson for the Jewish Woman | moving to a better Jewish environment
By the Grace of G-d
4th of Sivan, 5727
Brooklyn, N.Y.
R.C.
Cheverly, Md. 20785
Blessing and Greetings:
I duly received your letter, in which you write about the difficulties of being a fully observant Jew, and wonder why it should be so, etc.
It is surely unnecessary to point out that all good things in general are hard to come by. As a matter of fact, the more desirable a thing is and the more one can gain from it, the more difficult it is to obtain. Nevertheless, it is all the more worthwhile to attain such a thing, regardless of the difficulties and efforts which may be entailed, which are comparatively insignificant in the light of the gain.
Actually the difficulties of being a fully observant Jew often loom much greater than they are, but once a firm resolution is made to be an observant Jew, and steadfast and gradual advancement is made from strength to strength, it soon becomes apparent that the difficulties were much more imaginary than real.
One of the first conditions in regard to such a determination is to firmly resolve to disregard any scoffing or ridicule by some individuals. For the majority of such scoffers do so out of ignorance of what Judaism really is, and out of general shallowness, or, worse still, because they try to cover up in this way their own weakness and shame at not having the strength to overcome temptations of the flesh, for which they sacrifice the real and eternal values of the Torah, which is called Toras Chaim and the mitzvot, whereby Jews live a life worth living. In this connection it is significant to note that the holy Shulchan Aruch, with its four sections, begins with the admonition not to take notice of any scoffers.
With regard to your raising the point that it is not always clear to you what is really expected of an observant Jew, inasmuch as the Jews you have met do not always agree as to what is true Jewish observance - it is not quite clear what the problem is. For there is a Shulchan Aruch for all Jews which contains all the laws and regulations regarding Jewish life under all circumstances, during weekdays as well as on Shabbos and holidays, etc. By the way, there is a Kitzur (Digest) Shulchan Aruch with an English translation.
In light of the above, it is clear that the first thing for you to do is to decide that you are really desirous of and determined to become an observant Jewess, and then, as mentioned above, you will see that the road is not nearly as difficult as you imagine.
The present days are particularly auspicious for such a determination for we are approaching the Festival of the Giving of the Torah at Mt. Sinai. Incidentally, it is indicated in the Torah, and explained by our Sages of blessed memory, that before the Torah was given to all our people, the consent of the Jewish women was first required. This emphasizes the special role of the Jewish woman in the preservation of the Jewish way of life in accordance with the Torah and mitzvot.
As for your question whether you should move to a larger city, such as New York for example, where there is a better and more conducive Jewish environment - certainly, unless there are compelling reasons to the contrary. It is most advisable to do everything possible to live in the most conducive Jewish environment possible.
Wishing you a happy and inspiring festival of Shovuos,
With blessing,
P.S. Enclosed is a copy of a message, which I trust you will use to good advantage.
