Many years ago, I was loaded with envy over the Rebbe of my parallel class. He had so many Maalos that I didn’t have. It appeared to me that he was having a “smooth ride” as a Rebbe, while I was constantly struggling, with plenty of difficulties.
Towards the end of the year, I was deciding that maybe I should approach the other Rebbe next year, and I’ll be his Talmid so he can teach me how to teach properly. I’d get my act together once and for all! The very same day that I had these thoughts, he approached me.
He told me about how he’s concerned that he isn’t capable to control a class the way I do. [By the way, I davened plenty for having more control and discipline]. I asked him if he was Stam kidding and trying to make me feel good! He was very strong in reassuring me that he honestly wishes he could do a job like me.
I remember how years ago a major Lamdan and Masmid in Lakewood wished he could have the job of a Melamed like me, & I wished that I could sit and learn like him. He told me: Guess what? The Yetzer Hara is winning on all fronts!
I once had tremendous Kin'ah for two extremely Chashuva people. But being very involved with Hashem and always writing Hashgachos does wonders. Within a week of my envious thoughts, the very person whom I envied called me up & started crying about his hard life! And two weeks after I envied the other Chashuva person, his son opened up to me, and I saw how foolish was my envy.
