Sermon Says
After the Shabbos service was over, Golda Grunberg meets Rabbi Cohen at the shul door with her young son Shmuel.
"Rabbi," says Golda, "I'm sorry my little Shmuel was so noisy during your sermon."
"That's OK, Golda," says Rabbi Cohen. "These things are not unknown to us rabbis. But do tell me how you managed to get him to keep quiet at the end."
"It was quite easy rabbi," replies Golda. "Fifteen minutes into your sermon, I leaned over to Shmuel and whispered in his ear, 'Shmuel, listen to me carefully. If you don't stop making so much noise, Rabbi Cohen is going to lose his place in his sermon, and if he loses his place, he will have to start his sermon all over again!' And rabbi, he instantly stopped making a noise."
The Most Famous Person in the World
Moishe got a new job and one afternoon soon after he started, he entered John Cooper’s office and declared: "Boss, I know everybody in the world."
Obviously, John didn't believe him and replied, "Everybody in the whole world?"
Moishe said, "Yes sir, and you can choose anyone, and I will prove it."
After a moment, John said, "I bet you don't know Madonna."
Moishe said, "I talk to her very often by e-mail, and what's more we've had dinner together. Now we are friends."
John decided to uncover the ruse, so he bought 2 tickets to Hollywood and they went to Madonna's house. Madonna personally opened the door. She opened her arms and said, "Oh Moishe, what a surprise! Come in, you and your friend." They spent a very nice afternoon there.
But John wasn't convinced. He thought that it could just have been a coincidence, so he said, "How about President Obama?"
"Barak?!" said Moishe. "Of course. We’ve been friends since college. We play basketball together.”
John almost lost his cool and decided that this one he had to see immediately. They flew to Washington and as soon as they landed, they took a cab to the White House. There, they went to see a press conference where Obama was making a speech. At the end, Obama happened to take a look in Moishe's direction. Moishe shouted, "Barack! Barack!” and Obama, with a smile, shouted back: "What’s up Moishe, you want to shoot some hoops later?"
