“The first birthday party you have and the last birthday party you have are actually quite similar. You just kind of sit there. You’re the least excited person at the party. You didn’t even really realise that there is a party. Both birthday parties’ people have to help you blow out the candles. It’s also the only two birthday parties where other people have to gather your friends together for you.”
“Just what is the handicapped parking situation at the Special Olympics? Is it still just the two spaces?”
Hey Liba, did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you? But when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window.
Did you hear about the Jewish mother doll? You pull the string on its back and it says, “Again with the string?”
Menachem, forget about the past, you can’t change it. Forget about the future, you can’t predict it. Forget about the present, I didn’t get you one.
Chavi Israel, statistics show that those who have the most birthdays, live the longest.
Etty what did the witch do on her birthday? She spell-ebrates.
I bought my friend Mark Propper a fridge for his birthday. You should have seen his face light up when he opened it.
Jessy W, what did the birthday balloon say to the safety pin? "Hey, buster."
