Chovos HaLevavos, Introduction to Sha’ar HaBitachon.
The ba’al bitachon will feel joy in every situation in his life, because he trusts in Hashem that He will only do what is good for him—just as a compassionate mother does for her child in bathing him and so forth, as Dovid HaMelech said, אם נפשי עלי כגמול אמו עלי כגמול נפשי ודוממתי שויתי לא, I swear that I stilled and silenced my soul like a suckling child at his mother’s side, like the suckling child is my soul” (Tehillim 131:2).
The Appropriate Solution in Trying Times Is to Change Ourselves
Pain Comes from Within
Previously, we discussed the words of the Piaceszna Rebbe in Hachsharas HaAvreichim, in which he explains that any emotions—whether joy or pain—don’t come from the surrounding circumstances, the events that happen to us. What we feel is our nefesh being awakened (or “triggered”) by those events. When the nefesh encounters an occurrence, it causes an internal reaction—and this is what we feel.
So long as a person hasn’t perfected his bitachon, he may feel pain caused by things that irk him. For example, he awaits a yeshuah (for children, shidduchim, parnasah, etc.) and it hurts.... He feels pain, not only because the salvation has yet to arrive, but because he feels somewhat bitter: “Why does he have and I don’t... why am I always the shlimazel?” There’s so much pain and confusion here.
When we analyze it, what is the real source of this pain? Can we say that the root of the pain is in the surrounding matzav?! Is the pain caused by the very reality itself that something is missing in his life? Of course not! Nothing in the world can bring a person such bitterness. External events can only trigger a feeling within the nefesh to a certain feeling.
And when the nefesh is affected, it may feel the emotion of pain. Thus, clearly, the pain is rooted within a person’s nefesh, not in the technical reality.
Superficial Compliments Don’t Help
A good example of this is when we encounter an overly sensitive person—he becomes insulted by the tiniest negative comment, and he always assumes that we’re talking about him. Whenever you tell him anything, you always need to apologize...
How can we help such a person? Can we ensure that he will never become offended? Can we ensure that he will constantly be showered with compliments? “You’re amazing... you’re wonderful... you’re the wisest person who ever lived!”
Surely, this wouldn’t work. First, if we approach it this way, he will never mature or improve. The root of his problem will never be addressed. Second, it’s completely unrealistic to shield a person from any criticism or offence. Every person, during his life, will hear offensive comments. Third, if we shower him constantly with compliments, his problem will become exacerbated—because he will sense that they’re not genuine or factual. “They’re just trying to be mechazek me,” he’ll think.
Investigating the Nefesh
So, how can we help such a person? We all understand that the only way to help him is to dig into his nefesh and investigate why this person is so sensitive. Why does he become so deeply affected by everything that he hears? Why does he lie in bed all day because he thinks that someone is looking at him the wrong way? Can it be due to an experience that he endured in his youth? Is he depressed or broken from something else that is causing him to be so sensitive?
We can help him by taking him to a professional... or another wise person—together with a Tehillim, of course. But it is clear to all that this issue must be addressed at its source. If the problem isn’t addressed at the root, he will never extricate himself from it. It is an internal problem—and it must be treated as such.
Addressing Our Inner Galus
This teaches us a tremendous yesod: Whenever a person feels pain and anguish, the problem really is internal, in his heart and in his soul. It doesn’t matter what circumstances a person endures—if he feels pained by it, the pain is centered in his heart. That is where his personal galus resides. It is only that everything around him triggers and awakens his inner pain.
If so, what is the remedy? There’s only one solution: to speak and daven to the Ribbono shel Olam that our inner attitudes, feelings, and emotions should become positive! Our primary prayer should not be for the Aibishter to take away the circumstances or for Him to change our surroundings—He may often do that as well—but our main supplication and tefillah must be: “Ribbono shel Olam! Please help me to accept things more easily, so that I will see my situation with clarity and emunah....”
Davening for Clear Emunah
For Our Eyes to Be Open to This Truth
There’s a well-known tefillah by Rebbe Meir’l of Apta. Many of us know the opening words, which have been put to a song העולמים רבון ...ותחבולות בעצות אתאמץ אם וגם ...היוצר ביד כחומר הנני כי ידעתי Master of the World, I know that I am but like clay in the potter’s hand... and even if I will exert myself with schemes and tactics, and all the people of the world will stand with me... there is no salvation or deliverance but for You. This first part of the tefillah is the proclamation of the fundamentals of our emunah—but then comes the essence of our supplication:
It continues: אמיתות תמיד לראות פתוחות עיני להיות העולמים רבון עזרנו לכן עת בכל בלבי אמונתך וקבוע תקוע ויהיה הזה הדבר, Therefore, help me, Master of the World, so that my eyes will always be open to seeing the truth of this matter, and that my belief in You should always be rooted and embedded in my heart.
Once this light is etched on my heart, I will never have any pain or sorrow. Not only will the problems go away, but I will have pleasure. I will have everything that I need!
Suffering Comes from Lack of Emunah
A tremendous yesod lies within these words: When a person goes through a situation that causes him pain, it’s not the situation that caused the internal pain. It’s the exact opposite! The external circumstances are fed and sustained by the pain he feels internally. The true root of the suffering is in the depths of our nefesh!
They feed off each other: There’s a problematic situation taking place, and it’s affecting me. Since I haven’t yet perfected my bitachon, my inner nefesh is awakened and triggered by those outside events, causing me tremendous pain. But now, because I feel the tremendous pain, the tzarah that is outside of me derives chiyus from the pain, and it can’t go away.
Thus, the emotions of sadness in our heart infuse life into the tzarah. Our negative emotions are the root of all our problems.
The Primary Prayer
For this reason, our primary emphasis in tefillah must be that Hashem should grant us the proper emunah in our hearts—and this will automatically bring about a yeshuah, because this was the root of the entire problem all along! If a person fortifies his heart with emunah, the ache in his heart will subside, and then the external problems will disappear as well—because their oxygen (the negative and sad thoughts and emotions) will have been cut off. Rather than focus most of our davening on the problem, we must daven for the root of the problem: our lack of emunah.
The Chovos HaLevavos tells us the truth: The truth is that if you daven for emunah, and you become infused with emunah, you will cut off the problem at the root. The main problem resides in your heart! Chase the darkness away with the light of emunah! Daven to the Ribbono shel Olam: “Help me that I should have emunah and bitachon. That I should see things clearly, and that I should become close to You—help me so that I won’t think so much about the problems, but rather focus on my own heart, that my heart should be permeated with a true faith in You.”
The Traitor in Your Heart
Tzaddikim would say that during the berachah of תקוה תהי אל ולמלשינים, that the traitors and slanderers shouldn’t affect us, we should have in mind the traitor within our own heart: “Ribbono shel Olam! Cut off all the kelipos that surround my heart, prevent me from seeing the world with clarity, and make me feel pain.”
This lack of emunah brings us internal pain, which in turn causes external tzaros, which cause us even more pain internally... and so it goes. Let us therefore not be so preoccupied with the external issues, because they are only the effect, not the cause. They are not the primary issue.
The Pain of the Shechinah Plays Out in Your Heart
This is also the reason that tzaddikim exhorted us that when we experience suffering, we should daven for the pain of the Shechinah, which suffers along with us, as the Navi says, צר לו צרתם בכל, in all their troubles He was troubled (Yeshayahu 63:9). The Shechinah feels pain, as it were, when a Yid struggles, and we should therefore daven for the pain of the Shechinah.
One may say, “I am not on the level to be davening for the pain of the Shechinah. When I have a problem, I daven for my own problems. That is an avodah for tzaddikim. What does it have to do with me?!”
The answer is, however, simple: Where is the Shechinah situated?! The Shechinah resides in the heart of each and every Yid! Our neshamah is a ממעל אלו-ה חלק, a literal part of Hashem. And thus, when you’re experiencing pain, you’re actually experiencing the pain that the Shechinah is experiencing inside you. All the feelings of pain and disappointment are only coatings and layers over the true and deep pain of the Shechinah in your neshamah. If so, surely one must daven for this pain to go away. Daven that you should be able to strengthen yourself with emunah, and automatically, the problems will disappear.
Remedying the Root
Indeed, the heiliger Rebbe Reb Zusha said that he never davened for tzaros to go away; he davened to merit strong bitachon, and when a Yid has strong bitachon, all the ache and the pain disappear automatically.
The surrounding problems aren’t the issue here. We must resolve the root of the problem: our own hearts. And then everything will be good.
Sometimes, there’s an institution in which the administrator isn’t the right person for the job... this mossad now has a fundamental problem: There’s no leader at the helm. This will cause all sorts of peripheral problems.
When the first dilemma arises, they’ll try and patch it up. But then another problem pops up, and then another... and they’re constantly busy patching up the problems that inevitably arise—until they realize that there’s a fundamental problem, a deeper problem that must be resolved. Addressing the problems on a superficial level will not resolve them permanently.
The same applies to the problems that are rooted in our hearts—and the solution is to address the root cause by strengthening our emunah and bitachon and davening for it. The primary pain emanates from within—even when someone is actively causing you pain. Remember that everything is internal. Daven to the Ribbono shel Olam not to feel the pain in your heart.
Developing the Sweet Feeling of Kirvas Elokim Precisely in Times of Angst
Why the Splitting of the Sea Was Necessary
The Sfas Emes adds an important point to this conversation. He explains that when the Yidden left Egypt, it seemed as though they had gotten rid of the problem of Mitzrayim for good—but one week later they found themselves right back under the Egyptian boots, being pursued with ferocity. It was only after the Splitting of the Sea that they were rid of them forever.
Why did it need to be this way? Why didn’t Hashem make one event that would rid Klal Yisrael of the Mitzriyim forever? The answer is, says the Sfas Emes, that the Ribbono shel Olam wanted the Yidden to be redeemed through emunah—that they should attain a level of clarity so that they would see that nothing around them matters, and they would truly recognize that the Ribbono shel Olam conducts His world with mercy and compassion and does everything for their good.
Hashem wanted the Yidden to feel that He’s caring for them, and the redemption would come through this recognition. This didn’t happen completely during מצרים יציאת, and therefore it required the events of סוף ים קריעת—and that is when they attained the proper level of emunah and bitachon. They refined and cultivated their internal emunah with perfection, and only then did they merit סוף ים קריעת, which brought the reign of the Egyptians to an end.
The Miracle Inside Our Hearts
This is the ironclad principle: As long a person hasn’t refined and perfected his emunah, the surrounding problems and dilemmas may fade away, but they will, chas v’shalom, reappear in other forms. If a person hasn’t resolved his bitachon issues internally, the unpleasant situations will return.
The Sfas Emes explains that at מצרים יציאת, the Jewish People left the oppression, but the oppressors remained intact, while at סוף ים קריעת, they were smashed and annihilated. What was the difference? At קריעת סוף ים, the Yidden merited the miracle through their own hard internal work. To get rid of the kelipah altogether, permanently, requires the avodah of a Yid. The miracles transpired inside their hearts, and they thus merited to be rid of the tzaros for good.
Heart Work
Most of us can sadly attest to this phenomenon. How often do we feel that we’ve rid ourselves of a problem, only to have the problem reappear... or to be saddled with a fresh dilemma not long afterward? The reason is that—while Hashem can surely rid us of our problems permanently—the ratzon Hashem is for salvation from the oppressive situation to come through our avodah of emunah, that we become people who are “joyful in every situation into which Hashem places them.” The Ribbono shel Olam wants us to feel as though we’re in the hands of a compassionate and loving mother.
And this is why problems tend to reappear, until a person refines and elevates his internal emunah. For as long as the bitachon hasn’t be resolved, the problem has remained in his heart. Even if nothing is irking you at the moment, and no one is bothering you at this moment, you will be bent out of shape the moment something comes along. If a person doesn’t resolve his emotions, he’ll keep on banging head-on into problems and issues, and he will become deeply affected by them.
The Only Solution Is Emunah
The reality is that the world is filled with all sorts of difficult and challenging situations, and the only way to ensure that they won’t hurt is to strengthen our belief that the Ribbono shel Olam runs the world and that He is good and does good—knowing that everything is for a person’s good! Even when an interpersonal nisayon arises in which someone hurt him, he will still proclaim: “It’s not him—it’s all the Ribbono shel Olam!”
He will have the same attitude when someone doesn’t pay back his loan on time. Some people may become upset and say, “Why is he so unfair? I clearly told him that I need the money back in a few months. He always does this! He’s so irresponsible!” But the ba’al bitachon will rightfully acknowledge that the reason he cannot afford to buy what he wants at this moment is not because the loan isn’t paid up.
Growing Slowly and Surely
The ba’al bitachon works mightily to internalize this. He reiterates it again and again: It has nothing to do with the other person! He’s joyful and elated as he proclaims, “Ribbono shel Olam! Thank You for placing me in this situation, because it’s surely for my good!
In this way, the ba’al bitachon purifies and cleanses his heart, piece by piece, until he becomes a person who isn’t bothered by outside events. He then ascends to another level in which—not only isn’t he bothered—but he actually attains feelings of kirvas Elokim amid his challenges. Even when he receives a “rebuke”, he still filled with joy and pleasure. The pasuk of יסובבנו חסד בה' והבוטח gains new meaning in his eyes! He truly feels the words of the Chovos HaLevavos: to feel joy in every situation in which Hashem will place him. He feels such closeness to Hashem precisely during the challenging situations.
“Triggering” Our Feelings of Kirvas Elokim
Just as a person’s traumas are awakened by negative events, the same plays out for the ba’al bitachon— but in the reverse. He has experienced so many situations in which he relied on Hashem and He came through for him. He already lived through many situations, and they have brought him closer to Hashem and to His love. And so, when he encounters new challenges, his sense of kirvas Elokim is awakened! He anticipates and is confident that this is a situation that will once again bring him so close to the Ribbono shel Olam, and that everything will be good.
The Ribbono shel Olam wants a Yid to develop these feelings and that his nefesh should be awakened to feelings of closeness to Hashem precisely when life is challenging. When he encounters a problem, he will cry out, “I remember how much light and illumination the Ribbono shel Olam brought me last time when I was in a tight spot!” His challenges will become vehicles to awaken his bitachon and ahavas Hashem!
Kirvas Elokim = I Can’t Do Anything
Perhaps we can say that it was for this reason that Chazal prohibited us from benefiting from a שבת מעשה, a melachah that was done on Shabbos: because on Shabbos, we must develop and cultivate the feeling of kirvas Elokim: “I can’t do anything on my own; everything is only from Hashem.” But if someone went ahead and did a melachah, he went against this entire idea of emunah. And this is why we must not come near the fruits of such an act—because it is saturated with lack of emunah, and it implies the belief that one can do for himself.
The Gemara (Shabbos 150b) tells the story of a pious person who thought about repairing the fence around his field on Shabbos. He then resolved never to repair that breach in the fence—simply because he thought about something that is forbidden on Shabbos. This pious man felt he didn’t properly feel the sense of עונג מדושני, being saturated with pleasure, that a Yid must feel on Shabbos. (In the end, a miracle occurred, and a tree sprang up in that precise place, accomplishing the work for him.)
We’re taught that Shabbos is הנפשות ועדן הרוחות עונג, pleasure of the spirit and the oasis of the soul—because Shabbos is a time for feeling the highest sense of reliance and closeness to Hashem. On Shabbos, a Yid must attain the pleasure of נפשי עלי כגמול אמו עלי כגמול, like a suckling child at his mother’s side.
When We’re in Hashem’s Embrace, Nothing Hurts
The Chovos HaLevavos is teaching us here that it is worthwhile to cultivate this feeling. When a challenge is presented to you, first of all remember that it has nothing to do with the events around you, and everything to do with your internal nefesh—and if you will reiterate and strengthen and bolster your emunah, all the pain will go away.
It’s not always easy. But we can begin by resolving not to talk back to another person—because it’s not him. Maybe even go out of your way to do something nice for that person, so you will emphasize within yourself this awareness that it’s not him.
When a person does this over and over, the light and the illumination will slowly but surely be revealed to him, and he will feel less and less pain, ultimately reaching a place where nothing will get to him. He will be so surrounded by feelings of kirvas Elokim that nothing negative will penetrate. He will constantly feel himself in Hashem’s embrace.
Halevai that we should attain this, with great siyata diShmaya.
