The True Source of Chiyus and Pleasure
Ta’avah: “I Don’t Have What I Need”
A person who is drawn after ta’avos Olam HaZeh does so because he senses that he can derive pleasure from that forbidden source. He practically declares, “I don’t have what I need; I will go and get what I want in forbidden ways.” There are many people for whom this is their vulnerability, the “chink in their armor.” After a difficult day, they know that they are more likely to turn to ta’avah, R”l, in an effort to release the pressure and the stress.
This is because they feel that they have nowhere else to turn. “I am broken...things are difficult, I have nowhere else to turn.... Let me partake in ta’avos Olam HaZeh.
Even if a person doesn’t turn outright to aveiros, but he is deflated, and he doesn’t feel a chiyus from running to Shacharis the next morning or from the thought of pouring out his heart to Hashem—he isn’t living with the understanding that all chiyus, success, and pleasure come only from Above.
Grazing in Foreign Fields
A person who lives with the feeling that the only source of pleasure or success, the source of salvation and solution, is only from the Ribbono shel Olam—Him and only Him—is drawn less to the attractions of This World, because he doesn’t feel the need to draw chiyus from foreign sources.
Thus, if a person is properly mevatel himself to Hashem (here we are not discussing the concept of רצונו מפני רצונך בטל, nullifying our will for His will in the practical sense; we are discussing the feeling and understanding that nothing comes from us and everything comes from Him, the essence of bittul)—understanding that if he wants or needs something, there is One Source for it, and he truly feels that he can be helped only by the Ribbono shel Olam—he will feel less of an urge to stray elsewhere for pleasure.
Davening with the Joy That Shefah Will Come
Our davening must reflect this joyful belief that everything will come from Hashem. Some people view their davening as a time to cry out in pain, to let out on Hashem all their disappointments and frustrations. There are those who consider themselves very strong in the aspect of tefillah, and, immediately following their davening, they instantly turn to hishtadlus with a fervor and a zest—often engaging in misguided hishtadlus—in an effort to help themselves. “Maybe this person will hear about me and what I do...maybe the other person can help me....” And we wonder: If he is davening properly, why is he so invested in his hishtadlus? The answer is that he views his davening not as an opportunity to ask Hashem for shefah, but as an exercise in venting his pain.
During tefillah, one must be consumed with the joy that shefah is coming to him! Aside from asking for wisdom during chonen hado’as, one must be filled with joy that he has already received wisdom from Hashem. One must have a certain satisfaction and serenity during davening, knowing that everything has been taken care of.
Otherwise, one is seeing two separate entities: There is 1) davening, and 2) what he must do to make things happen. When does part two happen? Immediately after davening, when he starts making phone calls, connecting with this one and with that one—once again, one finding himself turning to This World for the solution to his problems.
Ta’avah is an outgrowth of this type of thinking: Ta’avah means that a person feels uncertain. He doesn’t feel that he is receiving his chiyus and his needs from Hashem—and the source of this is ga’avah, the feeling “I can handle it alone.... I can do for myself....” He feels that there is a place devoid of the Ribbono shel Olam, and he must make up for that lack.
