We are currently in the middle of the summer and in some places, motzei Shabbos can get very late. In Gateshead for example, it can get as late as 11:30pm. Even in Eretz Yisroel it can be as late as 9pm before one gets round to making havdolah. Are young children expected to stay up so late? Should they be woken up to hear havdolah? Can they perhaps make havdolah from plag hamincha and on, whilst it is still Shabbos? If they don’t hear havdolah until Sunday afternoon, are they allowed to eat beforehand? What about young girls? Of this and more below.
The primary reason for picking the topic of havdolah for young children is because it is a timely issue, however, we will see below, that it is also slightly connected to the parsha.
At What Age Does the Chiyuv Chinuch for the Mitzvah of Havdolah Start?
The first thing we must determine, is when the chiyuv chinuch [obligation to educate a child] for the mitzvah of havdolah starts. In Succah (42a) we learn: “A child who knows how to shake lulav is obligated in the mitzvah of lulav; if he knows how to wrap himself in a tallis, he is obligated in the mitzvah of tzitzis; if he knows how to guard tefillin, his father should buy him tefillin; if he knows how to speak, his father should teach him Torah and krias shema”.
It is clear from the above, that the age of chinuch is not uniform for all mitzvos, and it starts from when the child is able to carry out that specific mitzvah with all its details. For example, by the mitzvah of lulav it is from when the child knows how to shake a lulav. Shaking (nanuim) is not me’akev [fundamental] in carrying out the mitzvah, however, the chiyuv chinuch only starts when the child is able to fulfil the mitzvah in the optimum manner. (See Bikuray Ya’akov 657:3, Meromai Sodah, Succah (42a) and Chiddushei HaGriz Eruchin 3b)
Regarding the age of chinuch for kiddush and havdolah, the Mishnah Berurah (343:3) writes, that it is from when the child knows about Shabbos. In Hilchos Kiddush (269:1) the Mishnah Berurah writes that it is from the age of 6 or 7, each child according to his sharpness and capabilities.
Is There an Obligation to Wake Up a Child to Perform the Mitzvah of Chinuch?
Even if chinuch starts at the age of 6 or 7, we still must determine if there is an obligation to wake up a sleeping child to hear havdolah. The Chayei Adam (Klal 66:6 end) writes: If a kohen kotan [young kohen] is sleeping in a tent with a dead body, there is no need to wake him up. Similarly, the Chochmas Adam (Klal 152:17) writes: There is no obligation to be mechanech [educate] a child with the mitzvah of aveilus, as it is painful for him. Similarly, the Shu”t Pri Sodeh (3:187, pg. 97a) writes: Anything which is painful for a kotan, there is no mitzvah of chinuch. Consequently, for a young child that needs his mother, there is no mitzvah of chinuch for him to sleep in the succah. (However, see Mateh Ephraim 584:1 who writes: On Rosh Hashanah the shamash [attendant] should wake up the congregation one hour before daybreak, including the children who have reached the age of chinuch).
However, if the child is already 12 years old, the Shu”t Be’er Sorim (6:25, 1) writes: It is obvious that he must be woken up to daven Ma’ariv and to hear havdolah on motzei Shabbos for reasons of chinuch.
We can bring a mekor [source] to his words from the Mishnah Berurah (70:8). The Mishnah Berurah writes: Although the Shulchan Aruch (70:2) rules that young children are exempt from the mitzvah of krias shema as they are not found by their father’s during the time of krias shema in the evening, and they are sleeping in the morning. Nonetheless, the Bach writes, everyone agrees that a father is obligated to be mechanech a child who is 12 years old, as at that age, he is found by his father.
However, we still must determine the obligation to fulfil mitzvos for one who is sleeping, especially for a kotan where it may be, that there is no chiyuv chinuch if he is sleeping. Rashi and Rabbeinu Tam (Berachos 20a) have a machlokes [dispute] if young children who have reached the age of chinuch are obligated in the morning krias shema. The Shulchan Aruch (70:2) rules: We should try and follow Rabbeinu Tam, and if they are of the age of chinuch, they should try and read krias shema with its berachos (see Mishnah Berurah s.k. 6). R’ Elyashiv adds: Although lechatchilah [ideally], we should educate them to read shema before the final time of reading shema according to the Magen Avraham (which is the earlier time), if they are sleeping, we don’t need to be so stringent. However, if possible, the child should be woken up before the final time of reading shema according to the Gaon (which is slightly later). However, if this is also difficult for him, there is no need to wake him, and he can read shema when he wakes up. (Piskei HaGrish – Orach Chaim pg. 195).
Early Havdolah
In places where tzeis hakochovim [the coming out of the stars, the time when halachic night starts] is very late, and young children are unable to stay up until motzei Shabbos, perhaps we can suggest that they make havdolah whilst it is still Shabbos. The Shulchan Aruch (293:3) writes: If one is onus [under pressing circumstances] he may daven Ma’ariv of motzei Shabbos from plag hamincha and on and make havdolah straight after. In our case, perhaps the child should make early havdolah, and then go to bed.
However, the Mishnah Berurah (s.k. 9) writes: Achronim write that one shouldn’t do this as it is tomu’ah lerabbim [wondersome to the public], moreover, one may come to be lenient with doing melachah (as once he makes havdolah, he may accidentally think Shabbos is over). According to this, certainly it would be best to avoid such an option as we don’t want a child getting used to doing something which has problems involved (see Ritva, Succah 2b, Ran, Yoma 82a). Additionally, if one makes early havdolah he misses out on tosefes Shabbos [the mitzvah of adding on to Shabbos].
The Shu”t L’Horas Nossan (10:33, sk. 9) writes: Either way the child is sleeping and misses out on tosefes Shabbos, therefore, perhaps he should in fact make early havdolah. However, he subsequently retracts from this argument, as by making early havdolah the child is doing a positive act which takes away from tosefes Shabbos, if he goes to sleep, however, he hasn’t done a positive act, he is simply missing out on tosefes Shabbos passively. Although if he is sleeping he doesn’t get a mitzvah of tosefes Shabbos, he is onus.
In a subsequent Teshuvah (siman 34) the L’Horas Nossan is in doubt if it is better to make havdolah early and miss out on tosefes Shabbos, or to make havdolah on Sunday which is not the ideal time for havdolah. Practically, he concludes: The child shouldn’t make early havdolah, either because it’s tomu’ah lerabbim, or because he may come to be lenient with carrying out melachah whilst it is still Shabbos like we saw in the Mishnah Berurah. (See also Shu”t Shevet HaLevi 10:54 who also takes on, that havdolah on Sunday is better than early havdolah on Shabbos).
Until When Can One Make Havdolah?
The Shulchan Aruch (299:6) writes: If one forgot and did not make havdolah on motzei Shabbos, he has until Tuesday to do so. Some say, he has the entire Sunday, and no more. The Rema writes: The main halachah is like the first opinion.
Why Should One Have Until Tuesday?
The Mishnah Berurah (s.k. 16) explains: The first opinion holds that the first three days of the week are connected to the previous Shabbos. From Tuesday and on, the week is connected to the upcoming Shabbos. The source for this is the Gemara in Pesochim (106a), which is based on Hilchos Gittin. In Hilchos Gittin there is a halachah, that if one says to his wife, “Behold this is your get [divorce document], on condition that you give me 200 zuz after Shabbos or before Shabbos”, the first three days of the week are connected to the previous week and are considered “after Shabbos”, and the last three days of the week are connected to the upcoming Shabbos and are considered “before Shabbos”.
There is room to differentiate between the two cases, as by gittin we go after lashon bnei adam [the language that people commonly understand], whereas by havdolah we presumably don’t.
The Shu”t Zera Emes (3:51) and Shu”t Binyan Shlomah (2:20) both quote R’ Chaim Sogalovitch (Mechaber of Shu”t Mekor Chaim) who explains, the heter [allowance] to make havdolah until Tuesday is because the kedusha of Shabbos continues until then. And peshat [the understanding] in the Gemara is, because the kedusha of Shabbos goes until Tuesday, until Tuesday people still refer to it as after Shabbos. However, the Binyan Shlomah explains, this din is not because the kedusha of Shabbos continues until Tuesday, but it is simply because people refer to these three days as “after Shabbos”.
Is Havdolah Until Tuesday a Continuation of the Original Obligation, Or Is It Tashlumin [A Make Up Period] of the Original Obligation?
Although we showed above that one has until Tuesday to make havdolah, the question is: Is until Tuesday still considered the ideal time for the mitzvah, or is the ideal time for havdolah on motzei Shabbos, and until Tuesday one has the option to make up for what he missed (tashlumin)?
The Shu”t Chasam Sofer (Orach Chaim 17) and Maharam Shik (Al Taryag Mitzvos, Mitzvah 31, and Shu”t Maharam Shik, Yoreh Deah 341) are medayek [make an implication] the Shulchan Aruch which says, “If one forgot and didn’t make havdolah”, that one only has until Tuesday if he forgot to make havdolah, if, however, one purposely missed it out then he doesn’t have until Tuesday. From that fact that one only has until Tuesday if he forgot by mistake, we see that the halachah which allows making havdolah until Tuesday is because of tashlumin, and not because that is the time of the mitzvah.
The difficulty is, in Hilchos Kiddush (271:8) we find: “If one didn’t make kiddush at night, whether purposely or accidentally, one can make up for it the entire next day”. We see that by kiddush one has the entire next day to make up for it, and that the zeman of kiddush continues until the next day. If so, why is havdolah different? Why don’t we say that the zeman stretches until Tuesday and even if one purposely never recited havdolah on motzei Shabbos, he still has until Tuesday?
The truth is, the Shulchan HaRav (288:8) does not differentiate between the two mitzvos and he writes: “The main mitzvah of havdolah is at night, if one forgot, or purposely never made havdolah on motzei Shabbos, he can make it the next day ... if he didn’t make on Sunday, he can do it on Monday ... and so on, until Tuesday.” From the Shulchan HaRav we see that until Tuesday is still considered the zeman.
The Mishnah Berurah (s.k. 16) writes: “Ideally one should try and make havdolah on Sunday, due to the rule of zerizin makdimin lemitzvos [we try and do mitzvos as quickly as possible]”. We see that havdolah until Tuesday is not tashlumin, but is the proper time for havdolah. If it wasn’t, the Mishnah Berurah wouldn’t simply write that one should make havdolah on Sunday because of zerizin makdimin lemitzvos, he would say one should make it on Sunday as that is the time of the mitzvah.
If we learn like the Chasam Sofer that havdolah until Tuesday is tashlumin, why in Hilchos Kiddush do we say, “Whether purposely or accidentally, one can make up for it the entire next day”, whereas in Hilchos Havdolah it is only “If one forgot”? Don’t answer that the Shulchan Aruch holds that the zeman of kiddush is the entire day and therefore even if one didn’t say it on purpose, he has the entire day, whereas the zeman for havdolah is only on motzei Shabbos, as in Hilchos Aveilus (Yoreh Deah 341:2) we find that if one is an oinen on motzei Shabbos, he should recite havodlah on Sunday. From the fact that an oinen can recite havdolah on Sunday, it must be that the entire Sunday is the zeman. If it was merely tashlumin, there would be no tashlumin for an oinen, as there is no tashlumin for one who is exempt at the time of the mitzvah.
The Chasam Sofer explains: Really the zeman for havdolah is only on motzei Shabbos and the option of making on Sunday is because of tashlumin. The reason an oinen has tashlumin is because on motzei Shabbos an oinen is not exempt from the mitzvah, it is just he isn’t allowed to fulfil it because of oisek bemitzvah potur min hamitzvah [if one is busy carrying out one mitzvah, he isn’t allowed to carry out another one]. Since really he is obligated, just he can’t do it, he can make up for it on Sunday (he is not like someone who is lame on first day Yom Tov who has a proper exemption from the mitzvah).
However, the Shu”t Binyan Shlomah (2:20) proves that havdolah after motzei Shabbos isn’t because of tashlumin. If it would be tashlumin, one would only be able to recite it next time there was a chiyuv to make havdolah, like we find by tefillah. Just like by tefillah, one can only do tashlumin for Shacharis by Mincha, similarly, one should only be able to do tashlumin for havdolah the next motzei Shabbos. Moreover, one would need to make havdolah twice on two different cups of wine, and it doesn’t make sense to do this – once one has made havdolah, there is no room to make a second one. Therefore, he concludes, certainly it is not tashlumin. This is also the opinion of many Achronim (see Taz, Yoreh Deah 396:3, Shu”t Mishkanos Ya’akov 88, Emek Berachah, Hilchos Kiddush V’havdolah 2, and Minchas Chinuch 31:9)
Is There Tashlumin for One Who Purposely Never Made Havdolah?
A nafkah minah [practical difference] between whether havdolah until Tuesday is because of tashlumin, or if it is because it is still the zeman of the mitzvah, is a case of one who purposely missed out havdolah. The Shulchan Aruch HaRav (299:8) and Mishnah Berurah (299:15) both say, that even if one purposely missed out havdolah on motzei Shabbos he can still make up for it until Tuesday. We see that they both take on that until Tuesday is still the zeman of the mitzvah.
It is important to mention, that from the words of R’ Akiva Eiger (299:6) it is clear, that he understands that the entire Sunday is the main time of the chiyuv, and from then until Tuesday, is because of tashlumin.
Is a Kotan [Young Child] Obligated in Tashlumin?
If we take on that havdolah until Tuesday is tashlumin, would a kotan be obligated? Or do we perhaps say that there is no mitzvas chinuch when it comes to tashlumin?
There is a machlokes if seh l’beis avos (שה לבית אבות), the obligation for a father to bring a korbon Pesach for his son, is de’O’raisa or not. We rule that it’s not, and the reason a father brings a korban Pesach for his son is simply because of the mitzvah of chinuch.
The Kli Chemda (Beha’aloscha, pg. 50, ois 4) is in doubt: If once we rule that seh l’beis avos is not de’O’raisa, and the only reason we give a kotan to eat from the korban Pesach is because of chinuch - if a kotan is obligated in the mitzvah of Pesach Sheini, in a case where he never brought a korban Pesach on Pesach Rishon?
The Kli Chemda cites proof from the Mishnah in Challah (4:11). The Mishnah lists a number of things that people tried to do, and were subsequently turned down. One of the things the Mishnah mentions is: “Yosef HaKohen tried to bring for his children and family members a korban Pesach on Pesach Sheini. They sent him home, to ensure that it wouldn’t become a fixed matter.”
The Rambam and Bartenura learn, that Yosef HaKohen tried to bring a Pesach Sheini for his young children, who were only obligated in bringing a korban Pesach on Pesach Rishon and not on Pesach Sheini. Since they were not obligated, he was sent back home. The question is, why are children not obligated in bringing a Pesach Sheini?
The Kli Chemda explains: The reason children are exempt, is because Pesach Sheini is tashlumin of Pesach Rishon, and by tashlumin there is no mitzvah of chinuch as the children are not really even obligated in the Pesach Rishon.
(The Kli Chemda points out: There is a machlokes Tanoim in Pesochim 93b, if Pesach Sheini is tashlumin of Pesach Rishon or a mitzvah in its own right, and the Rambam (Hilchos Korban Pesach 5:7) rules that it is a chiyuv in its own right. Consequently, if we learn peshat in the Mishnah in Challah like the Kli Chemda, we have to say that the Mishnah is going like the opinion that Pesach Sheini is tashlumin.)
The Shu”t Betzel HaChochma (5:169) cites the same proof as the Kli Chemda from the Mishnah in Challah, that there is no chiyuv chinuch on tashlumin. He addresses if there is a chiyuv chinuch on tashlumin by tefillah, and he takes on with simplicity that there isn’t, especially as tefillah is only derabonon.
The proof of the Kli Chemda and Betzel HaChochma fits according to the peshat of the Rambam and Bartenura, that the reason they were sent home was because the young children had no chiyuv. However, the Yerushalmi in Challah offers an alternative explanation in the Mishnah and learns that the reason they were sent home was because women are only obligated in Pesach Rishon and not Pesach Sheini, Pesach Rishon is an obligation, however, Pesach Sheini is optional. This is also the peshat of the Rash and Shenos Eliyohu, according to this peshat, we have no proof.
Halachah lema’aseh [practically], the Betzel HaChochma takes on that there is no chiyuv chinuch for a kotan to daven tashlumin. However, R’ Elyashiv (Piskei HaGrish – Orach Chaim pg. 195) and the Shu”t L’Horos Nossan (7:4) take on that a kotan has a chiyuv to daven tashlumin just like a gadol.
Must a Kotan Who Has Reached the Age of Chinuch and Didn’t Make Havdolah On Motzei Shabbos Make Havdolah On Sunday?
Now that we have shown, that it’s not fitting for a kotan to make havdolah himself on Shabbos before tzeis hakochovim, and that if he went to sleep before tzeis hakochovim there is no chiyuv to wake him up, is there a chiyuv for the kotan to make havdolah on Sunday morning when he wakes up?
Although some poskim take on, that the main time of havdolah is on motzei Shabbos, and after that its only considered tashlumin, there are poskim which hold that there is a chiyuv chinuch on tashlumin as well. Consequently, a kotan should make his own havdolah (Shu”t L’Horos Nossan 10:33 and 11:16, Shemiras Shabbos, 58:20 in the hago’ah, and Shu”t Be’er Sorim 6:25).
May A Gadol [Adult] Make Havdolah on Sunday for a Kotan [Child]?
The Mishnah Berurah (296:32) writes in the name of the Pri Megodim that a gadol who has already made havdolah for himself, may make havdolah again for a kotan who is of the age of chinuch. However, what is the halachah if the child is of the age where he is able to make havdolah himself? In Hilchos Kiddush (273:4) it is clear that one gadol is only able to be moitzi another gadol, if the second gadol is unable to make kiddush himself. Presumably the same thing would be with ketanim, and a gadol can only be moitzi a kotan in a case where the kotan is unable to do it himself.
However, the Levushei Serad and Machatzis HaShekel both explain that the above is a machlokes between the Magen Avraham and Olas Shabbos. According to the Olas Shabbos ketanim are better, and even if they know how to make kiddush themselves, a gadol can still be moitzi them, unlike gedolim. Whereas according to the Magen Avraham, there is no difference between gedolim and ketanim and either case, another person can only be moitzi them, if they themselves are unable to do the mitzvah.
Halachah lema’aseh, the Mishnah Berurah (s.k. 16) rules: If one is making kiddush for young children in order to be mechanech them, one should only do it if the ketanim can’t do it themselves, like the Shulchan Aruch rules by gedolim. Bedieved [post-facto] however, a gadol can even be moitzi another gadol, even if the second gadol knows how to make kiddush himself. The reason for this is, we pasken when it comes to berachos, “even if one has already been yoitzi, he can be moitzi someone else”, even if the second person is an expert and knows how to make the berachah himself (see Biur Halachah d.h. V’hu).
Based on the above, if the kotan can do it himself he should, if however, he is unable to, then a gadol may do it for him. In a case where the kotan is embarrassed, or he doesn’t want to drink the wine or grape juice, a gadol may also do it for him, as such a case is considered bedieved.
This is all well and good when it comes to motzei Shabbos. What happens however on Sunday morning, especially if the kotan is able to make havdolah himself?
According to R’ Akiva Eiger that the entire Sunday is an ideal time for havdolah, and according to the poskim that until Tuesday is the ideal time, due to the mitzvah of chinuch a gadol can make havdolah for a kotan. However, according to the opinions that the time of havdolah is motzei Shabbos, and until Tuesday is tashlumin, what is the halachah? It is true that according to R’ Elyashiv, and the L’Horas Nossan a kotan is obligated in tashlumin, however, there are poskim which argue, if so, how can the gadol be moitzi a kotan if there is a chance there is no mitzvah of chinuch?
We showed above, that the Mishnah Berurah holds that havdolah until Tuesday is the ideal time of havdolah and isn’t just tashlumin, therefore, it would seem that it’s ok for a gadol to make havdolah for a kotan. Certainly, in a case where the kotan is unable to, and even in a case where he is embarrassed or doesn’t want to drink, as such a case is bedieved, and bedieved a gadol can be moitzi a kotan, even if the kotan is able to make kiddush / havdolah by himself.
Is It Better for the Kotan to Make Havdolah, Taste a Bit, and Then Give the Rest to a Gadol, or Should the Gadol Do Everything?
In a case where the kotan is unable to drink the wine or grape juice, is it more ideal for a gadol to make havdolah, or should the kotan make havdolah himself, taste a bit and then give a gadol the rest to drink (to ensure the shiur of meloi lugmov is drunk)?
The second option of the kotan making havdolah seemingly has two problems. Firstly, the kotan is being moitzi a gadol with birchas hanhenin, and there is a machlokes Rishonim if a double derabonon can be moitzi a single derabonon, halachah lema’aseh the Mishnah Berurah (186:7) says to be stringent.
Secondly, if the gadol waits until the kotan has finished havdolah before he drinks, since he must wait from after hearing hagofen until the end of havdolah there is a hefsek [interruption], and in Shulchan Aruch (206:3) it’s clear that one shouldn’t interrupt between a berachah and drinking.
The Har Tzvi (Shu”t 1:154, s.k. 2) was asked: There was someone who found it hard to drink the majority of the cup of wine used for havdolah. This person would invite someone else to come and drink, however, sometimes
Birchas hanhenin is a mitzvah derabonon and a chinuch is a mitzvah derabonon, consequently, when a child says a birchas hanhenin it’s a double derabonon. For the gadol, however, there is just one chiyuv derabonon, the chiyuv of birchas hanhenin.
