I once spoke to an old Novardoker Zatzal who had unusual success in raising his children. His wife once told me that she can’t get over the unbelievable Nachas she was Zoche to. He said that he makes his children feel so highly regarded, that they are always trying to live up to his expectations. Of course, there is zero Ka'as in the house. Ka'as is a major no-no by Novardokers.
R' Wainkranz Zatzal once told me: Never, ever, should there be any Ka'as whatsoever in the home. The Novardokers had Vaadim once a week, and home life was a major issue. I was once a guest by the son of a Chashuva Novardoker. I noticed how the father was extremely supportive of his son. He listened with enthusiasm to everything his son said, and he made his son feel good to the utmost. He laughed at his son’s jokes, and agreed to all his son’s “Chochmos”.
I once visited an old Novardoker, and I ate in his home. He kept complimenting his wife’s food. His wife was somewhat a nervous type, and she didn’t appear so positive. She yelled at him, but he didn’t flinch. It all went over his head, and he continued to praise his wife’s great cooking.
A daughter-in-law of an old Novardoker once told me that her father-in-law respects her to the extreme. He listens to her wishes as if she was Daas Torah. She feels that he is real about this; not just a put-on for the sake of peace. He learns loads of Mussar to get like this. Her husband told me that some of his father’s Derech rubbed off on him, and if he didn’t learn Mussar he would have easily gotten divorced.
Respect for Others Is #1 In Novardok
The Alter Zatzal wrote 3,000 Maalos about his wife. A Menahel, a Rosh Yeshiva, or a Rosh Kollel is of extreme importance by them. I heard a story about R' Galinsky Zatzal who started crying in public when he felt that the Olam wasn’t giving a certain Gadol the proper respect. I once walked together with a Novardoker into a house, and he saw a picture of R' Shach Zatzal on the wall.
He became entranced, staring at the picture and praising R' Shach Zatzal with utmost awe and reverence. This happened again with the picture of another Gadol. This Novardoker was a big Tzaddik, and after he was Niftar he appeared many times to his children in dreams. He told them how wonderful it is in Olam HaBah, and how much he benefits from the massive amount of Mishnayos that his children learn L’ilui Nishmaso. He has also helped them with Shiduchim and with getting jobs! !ןָתָתיִמְבּ םיִקיִדַצ םיִלוֹדְג
When R' Koslowitz Zatzal was leaving Yeshivas Baranovitch during WWII, he saw R' Yisroel Yaakov Lubchansky [a Gadol B'yisroel & son-in-law of the Alter]. He was standing near the Mikva, washing his face with water that Yeshiva boys used when they washed up for the Mikva. This water was so precious to him, that he didn’t feel the dirt involved. Imagine the reverence this Tzaddik had for Bnei Torah! Seeing this gave R' Koslowitz so much Chizuk, that it kept him going throughout those turbulent times.
These are the same Novardokers who laugh at public opinion, and don’t care what people think of them. They are given a Chinuch not to fear Bizayon [who cares?!]. Yet at the same time, look how they seem like just the opposite with their tremendous respect they have for people!
