Whatever we do in life, if we’re honest, always has an ulterior motive to some extent. Yes, we love giving charity – but don’t we like the admiration it brings?
A wise man once pointed out – that if we ate the maror in shul and took the lulav and esrog at home – we would have men choking over the sharp horseradish, trying to outdo one another, and the arba minim would not fetch such high prices anymore.
But what happens when this behavior goes to the extreme?
“Vechi yamuch achica imach...” When your brother falls, the Parsha tells us, when he no longer can afford the basics of life, help him.
The Dubno Magid explains in a parable of which there are many versions.
A rich father, who lived in a faraway land, had three sons, two of whom lived a distance away, and one of whom lived at home. One married son was well-to-do, and the other one was poor.
The father sent word to the rich son; your younger sibling who still lives at home is about to get married. Please come, sparing no expense; I will pay back all you spend in my honor on this wedding. But do not forget your brother who has less than you.
The big day arrived. Both brothers and their families came into town. The rich brother and his family were lavishly prepared with the finest! The poorer brother and his family were embarrassed; their clothing was used and tattered. No finery here. No jewelry, no glamour.
After the festivities when the rich brother and he were alone, the father asked – what happened to your brother's finery? Mumbling a few words, the brother could not answer. His father let him off the hook easily, and he was relieved.
It was soon time to go back. Wanting to collect all the costs for his outlandish spending, he approached his magnanimous father. “Please pay me back father, here are all the bills.”
“I will not pay you back, you are free to leave now.” The son was shocked. “But you promised!” I promised to pay you back for all the huge expenses that you spent in my honor. Since you neglected to take care of your brother – you acted out of concern for your honor, not mine!
The Rambam tells us that if on Yo mtov we buy the most expensive and tasty foods to celebrate Yo mtov – but do not invite poor people and guests to join – we are merely celebrating ourselves and our own desires, not Hashem's Yo mtov!
A friend of mine, who had a business that employed all frum Yidden, was careful to make sure that he gave outsized bonuses to every single worker, regardless of his position, before each Yo mtov. When I asked him why he gives bonuses so many times a year, and why even to the lowest worker on the totem pole, he replied, “What can I do? I cannot possibly sit down to my Yo mtov meal if I know that my employees are hurting from Yo mtov expenses. I don’t care if it costs me more – I cannot do such a thing.” This was a contemporary fulfillment of the words of the Rambam.
The mitzvah of tzedeka means putting ourselves in our brother's shoes – not simply writing out a check. Our Father in Heaven wants us to care about our extended family. This love and caring will save us from our troubles and bring Moshiach. Yes, we are our brother's keeper.
Good Shabbos!
