Parashas Bechokosei begins with the assurance from Hashem that if we keep the mitzvos, He will bestow much kindness on us, and (26:11) בְּתוֹכֲכֶם מִש ְׁכָּנִי וְנָתַתִּי, "I will place My dwelling in your midst..."
Rashi writes, המקדש בית זה, the pasuk is referring to the Beis HaMikdash. If we keep the mitzvos, Hashem will place His dwelling among us in the Beis HaMikdash.
The Or HaChaim HaKadosh has another explanation. He explains that if we keep the mitzvos, Hashem will place His dwelling place within the neshamah of a Yid. He writes that this is based on the pasuk (Tehillim 78:60) בָּאָדָם שִׁכֵּן אֹהֶל, which means that Hashem dwells within man. The Or HaChaim writes, קדושו עם נשמות תוך הוא יתברך משכנו שעיקר, "The primary dwelling place of Hashem is within the neshamos of His holy nation."
It states at the beginning of parashas Bechukosai (26:3) ת ִּשְׁמ ְ רוּ מ ִצְוֹתַי וְאֶת תֵּל ֵכוּ בְּחֻק ֹּתַי אִם אֹתָם וַעֲשִׂיתֶם, for studying Torah and for keeping the mitzvos, many brachos will come, and among them is בְּתוֹכֲכֶם מִש ְׁכָּנִי וְנָתַתִּי, "I will place My dwelling in your midst..." This is literal. Hashem will dwell within the neshamos of Klal Yisrael.
Chazal say that when a person studies Torah, Hakadosh Baruch Hu studies opposite him. This reveals that learning Torah is a time when we connect to Hashem. Similarly, the Zohar HaKadosh (vol.2 82b) calls the 613 mitzvos 613 עיטין ג"תרי, counsels, because they are counsels on how we can connect with Hashem.
Therefore, ideally, we should study Torah and perform the mitzvos with a desire to unite with Hashem. If we perform the mitzvos because of mere obligation, without interest in connecting to Hashem, then a primary purpose of the mitzvos is lacking.
Subheading: The Importance of Desire in Mitzvos
Chazal (Avos 4:22) say, וְעַל ...חַי אַת ָּה ָכָּרְחֲך וְעַל הַמְּל ָכִים מ ַלְכֵי מֶלֶ ךְ לִפ ְנֵי וְחֶש ְׁבּוֹן דִּין לִתֵּן עָת ִיד אַת ָּה ָכָּרְחֲך הוּא בָּ רוּ ךְ ׁהַק ָּדוֹש, "Against your will you live... and against your will you are destined to give a judgement and accounting before the King, King of all kings, Hakadosh Baruch Hu." I heard from a talmid chacham that if you study Torah and perform mitzvos in a mode of ָכָּרְחֲך וְעַל, against your will, for this there will be a judgment. Because a person should desire the connection with Hashem that the mitzvos create.
Some people say to Hashem, "I have filled up the 'closet' with many good deeds. I studied many hours of Torah, and I said thousands of chapters of Tehillim, and I davened Shacharis many times... They are all prepared before You. Take from them whatever You want, whenever You want, whenever there is a need." It is wrong to think in this manner. The purpose of our mitzvos and good deeds is to connect with Hashem. This is the meaning of ַיח אַת ָּה ָכָּרְחֲך וְעַל, if you don't perform the mitzvos with desire and will, and it is a burden on you, then for this, ְׁבּוֹןוְחֶש דִּין לִתֵּן עָת ִיד אַת ָּה, for this, you will be brought to judgment. It is the chiyus and the desire to connect with Hashem which is the primary goal of avodas Hashem.
The Gaon Reb Aharon Toiseg Shlita repeats the following story from Reb Mendel Futerfas zt'l:
Reb Mendel Futerfas related that when he was a young bachur, he saw an elderly chasid, a great oved Hashem, who was sad and worried about something. Reb Mendel says that he acted childishly because he dared ask the elderly man why he was feeling down. This was out of place because the elderly chasid was over eighty. But he wanted to know, so he asked anyway.
The man wasn't taken aback by the question. He replied patiently, "בילדתיך בחור שמח, you are young. Your whole life is before you. You should be happy. But my beard has turned white. Soon, I will be required to give a reckoning and judgment before the heavenly court. This is why I worry."
Reb Mendel asked, "Why should you be afraid of the judgment? Halevay, all Yidden can give a din v'cheshbon like you can."
The elderly chasid replied, "What do you know about the type of judgment and reckoning I must give? I will tell you what I am taking to the next world. Listen well. Every day, I open a new bag (שק) to store my good deeds. When I wake up and say Modeh Ani, this good deed goes into the bag. I wash negel vasser, and the good deed goes into the bag. I say התורה ברכת, and it goes into the bag. I say השחר ברכת, and it goes into the bag. I teach Torah, and the merits go into this bag. I wear talis and tefillin, and where does it go? Into the bag. I daven shacharis, wash for breakfast, eat and bench, learn with a chavrusah, give shiurim, and encourage others to perform mitzvos. It all goes into the bag. I daven minchah and maariv, into the bag. Another shiur Torah, into the bag. Cheshbon hanefesh, kriyas Shma al HaMittah, into the bag. At night, I make a knot on the bag so that I can take it with me. The next morning, I open a new bag and begin filling it with good deeds. I've done this 365 days a year for the past eighty years. Every day, I open a new bag and fill it with good deeds. Now tell me, what do I have to bring to heaven?"
The bachur, Reb Mendel, was stunned and surprised that this elderly Yid opened up to him. But he didn’t understand what the old man was saying. Reb Mendel asked, "If you have so many good deeds, why are you afraid? You have a fabulous treasure! Why do you say you have nothing to take to heaven?"
The old chasid replied, "I am worried because I placed all these good deeds in a bag. Why didn't I place them within me?!"
It is a wonderful story, and it is something everyone should ask themselves. I have so many good deeds, but did they become a part of me? Did it change who I am? Did they sanctify me, or did they go into a bag?
I heard a similar story about a renowned mashpia. At the end of his life, he could only eat the yolk of an egg. He couldn’t eat any other food. A student asked him how he felt, and the elderly mashpia replied, "Baruch Hashem! Baruch Hu! Halavay my ruchniyus should be as good as my gashmiyus!"
The student was surprised to hear this. What was so good about his gashmiyus? All he could eat was the yolk of the egg. And his ruchniyus was very rich and full.
The elderly man replied, "It's true that I only eat part of an egg, but that food goes into all my 248 limbs and nourishes all my 365 sinews. The food becomes a part of me. But can I say the same about my Torah and tefillah? Can I say that they have become part of me?"
