But even more than that, the Gemara tells us a big chiddush there. It says there that not only is it an aveirah to hurt somebody with your words, but it’s even worse than hurting him monetarily. That’s what Chazal say: It’s more severe when you hurt a man’s feelings than if you would steal his money (ibid.).
I always give the same mashal. Here are two storekeepers on the same avenue. One of them, when you walk in there, you have to watch him very carefully because when he’s weighing the merchandise on the scale, sometimes he pushes down with his hand – he’s trying to add a little bit more weight to the banana you’re buying so that he can overcharge you. “Mister, I see you,” you have to say, “Please take your hand off the scale.” With him you also always have to count your change. He’s always liable to shortchange you.
However, this cheating grocer is a polite fellow; he’s always kind to you and he doesn’t say any mean words. You have to watch out when he’s handling your bananas and your money, but you don’t have to beware of a sharp tongue.
Now, on the other side of the street, there’s another grocer. He’s a man who is perfectly honest, 100% trustworthy. He wouldn’t cheat you even out of a nickel. If you accidentally left a penny of your change on the counter he would put it on the side for you and give it to you next time you come in. He takes dinei mammonos very seriously.
But on the other hand, he is mean. If you say an extra word, if you ask him where the tuna fish is, he answers you with a sharp word: “Look right in front of you on the shelf! Can’t you see?!” If you want to make an exchange, a return, he’ll berate you for not getting it right the first time. He’ll never hurt you in the pocketbook, not even a penny, but he’ll hurt you with his careless tongue.
