Two members of R’ Shimshon Pincus’s Kollel, both blessed with big families, ended up marrying off children at the same time. As the two chasunas were approaching, there was a noticeable difference between the two fathers. On the face of one of them was stress and tension, while the other was totally content with the situation, his contagious smile radiating joy and happiness. Financially, there was no difference between the two, yet one was content while the other wasn’t.
R’ Shimshon approached them to figure out what could be the difference. How could they both be making chasunas and yet one was so content, despite his situation?
When he asked the content one the million-dollar question, how he was so calm in this time, he responded that he has a close relative who sends him an open check every time he makes a simchah, which allows him to cover the expenses of the chasunah with ease.
R’ Shimshon was surprised. “I didn’t know that you have such a relative that you can count on.”
The man replied that this “relative” is the “friend” who we refer to in the verse, “Zeh dodi v’zeh rei’ee,” meaning Hashem, who is Dodi. “He is the One who supplies me with all my needs, and that why I’m so content.”
He then approached the other fellow, and asked him why he was so nervous. The man replied that he was making a chasunah, and he needed the money and wasn’t sure where he was going to come up with it. “In a short while, I’ll have to pay some outstanding bills, which’ll surely weigh me down. How can I not be nervous?”
R’ Shimshon replied, “I cannot answer the question, but what I can do is relay a story that will enlighten you to a deeper way how to address the situation:
Reuven, a middle-aged fellow who’d worked hard for his money, one day got an inheritance of several million dollars. Not knowing how to proceed with the wealth, he inquired how and where to invest. His friend suggested that he buy a private beach, build on it a home of his own, and that would be his vacation home.
Skeptical with the idea, he told his friend that it wouldn’t work. “Quicksand doesn’t hold, and the house will fall right in. It’ll just be a waste of my time, money, and energy.”
“You have a good point,” his friend said. “But remember that there are many people who have homes on the beach, and most of them don’t sink in. There must therefore be ways how to ensure that a beach house doesn’t sink in.”
“The same principle applies here,” explained R’ Shimshon. “There are many families who’ve faced the very same financial struggles as you, whether it was when they made a chasunah or another situation, and yet they all managed to work it out. Once you see that it worked out for them, you don’t need any more proofs. That in and of itself should release any unwarranted and unproductive stress. You see for yourself how they all manage through their challenge, and how their bills got covered. You, too, must remember that by relying on Hashem, your bills will be covered, and there is nothing to worry about.”
