True Story: A friend of mine suffered from nosebleeds, which would last a super long time until he stopped the bleeding. So he had an idea. First, he davened for a Refua Shleima for his immediate problem (i.e., the symptom), and a Refua Shleima if there is any underlying physical cause, for example, if there is a problem with his heart which may have caused the nosebleed. Then, he would daven for the true spiritual source of the problem; i.e., whatever Chet caused this, that Hashem should reveal it to him, and that he should do Teshuva.
Then, he kept saying: “The bleeding is over", even though it wasn't true (and it may have even gotten worse). Right after that, he said: “It's over!" "It's all dried up", and he started imagining it being all gone and dry. This worked like magic. Similarly, when he had an excruciating tooth ache and he was ready to go to the dentist to extract the tooth, he decided to learn from his nosebleeds. He kept saying: “It's nothing!” “It's all in the mind!" He tried hard to get involved in hard work, and/or lots of Mussar on Bitachon. He kept saying: “This will go away by itself", WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED after a few days. He also started accusing himself for his feelings of guilt which he was having lately, and he blamed his love for self-persecution which was causing him to subconsciously punish himself in all kinds of ways.
Brush Your Chesronos Under the Rug, And You'll Come Out Ahead
He started being a מֵלִיץ יוֹשֶר (advocate) for himself, and he began being Dan himself L'kaf Zechus to the extreme, and all these mishaps started disappearing. There can be anger that you have had against yourself for many years, or people may have caused you to feel like a no-goodnik. We see from all this what a poison is negative thinking!
Rambam on Tzora'as
The Rambam says that if you have a Tzora'as in a dark house without any sunlight, you are not required to start creating windows in order to see it, and since the house is dark and you can’t see it, the house is Tahor. What a "scandal"! There is: וַדַאי (for sure) a Tzora'as, but you hush up, and play it down; and by not looking at it you save your house from being destroyed, and instead of being Tamei you are Tahor! Even when the Tzora'as is actually visible, as long as the Cohen didn't say the word “Tamei”, the Tzora'as remains Tahor. This can be a Remez and a Mussar Haskel: Don't make yourself an official Rasha, even after you’ve done the worst sin; and don't call yourself a nebach or a: אִי-מוּצְלָח (loser), an Am HaAretz, a Tipesh (fool), Bat’lan (loafer), or a laidback: עַצְלָן (lazy), etc. when things go wrong.
Every generation has its own Yetzer Hara and its own Negi'os. When you put yourself down habitually, it is usually a sign that you have to go to the other extreme (even to lie about yourself) in order to be positive. It may be hard to believe, but the truth is that there is a sin in putting yourself down.
No derogatory labeling! They become an official: מְצִיאוּת (reality)! Better brush your Chesronos under the rug, and you'll come out ahead; just like with the nosebleed and toothache, and millions of other possibilities we can apply these principles. Don't give your nasty spouse, or your negative boss, or teenage child any Shtempel (label), except for positive Shtempel’s (labels)! Giving yourself a bad Shtempel makes it worse. Giving yourself a good Shtempel makes it better.
