Why did Dovid HaMelech have such an unusual amount of Tzaros in his entire life? To show the Yidden that Davka the one with the most Tzaros becomes: נְ עִ ים זְ מִ רוֹת יִ שְ רָ אֵ ל (Shmuel II 23:1) the sweetest singer. Not only is he not angry at Hashem for his Tzaros, but he goes extreme with Ha'tavah B'makom Hakpada, and he becomes the greatest singer to Hashem.
The Melech is the example; no ingratitude, no matter what, and only singing. Every Shachris we say: וּבְ ש ירֵ י ד ו ד עַ בְ דֶ ךָ נְ הַ לֶּ לְ ךָ We will praise You with the songs of Dovid Your servant. People may wake up every day with all kinds of problems, but when they daven Shachris they are emulating Dovid. Chazal say that a person should thank Hashem for every single breath of air! ALWAYS be in a “thank you” mode.
The Main Tachlis of a Human Is to Be Happy Despite a Challenge
The king’s job is to be an example and to encourage. When people see Dovid singing despite so many Tzaros (much more than they have), then it gets easier for them to stop kvetching and start appreciating! No blaming Hashem and/or people. Just being happy despite a challenge; THIS is the main Tachlis of all humans.
And then Dovid goes ahead and sins. Why? לְ הורות תְ ב וּשה לְ ח י יד To serve as an example that a person can do Teshuva. Dovid is demonstrating: Look how I can do Teshuva on the worst disgusting sin! So now everyone else can feel free to do Teshuva. Dovid is always involved in the worst life and the worst sins, in order that we can all make a: קַ ל ו חומֶ ר comparison that surely we can be happy despite our difficulties (which are less than Dovid’s), and do Teshuva, and despite the worst kind of sin.
Shlomo HaMelech wore a ring that said: ם גַ זֶ ה יַ רבֹּ ע “This too shall pass” (so don’t get depressed). We see from this that the job of royalty is to encourage. Dovid also said: אַ פ ילוּ רֶ ב חַ ד ה מוּנַחַ ת עַ ל צַ ו ארו שֶ ל א ד ם, אַ ל י תְ י אֵ ש מ ן ח ה רַ ח מ ים (Berachos 10a) As impossible as your situation may seem, never give up hope! The king teaches Bitachon, and to be “above” Olam HaZeh, without getting depressed and feeling low.
He wears a crown on his head, to inspire us to be “on top” and use our brains, instead of being a low-life “blamer”.
STORY
Someone called me from Eretz Yisroel with a complaint against his father-in-law. Why? He sends him various self-help books (on topics such as personal hygiene, or about controlling your Ka’as anger) as if to suggest that he needs to improve in these areas. This is causing him much pain, and arousing feelings of hatred towards his father-in-law.
I told him: He obviously doesn’t understand R’ Avigdor Miller’s rule for father-in-law’s (shut your mouth, and open your purse). But tell me his history, and maybe we can figure this out. Sure enough, his father-in-law was a Yasom at the age of six, and was never taught any lessons of life. No wonder he feels like a nobody. So I told him: Picture your father-in-law as a six-year-old nebach crying at his father’s Levaya. Start making him feel good, and humor him; you’ll grow in Anava. He called me back, to report that he feels like a totally different person!
Another person called from Eretz Yisroel to complain about his stubborn brother, who doesn’t listen to a thing anyone says. Everyone in his family hates him, his kids can’t stand him; he’s impossible to live with. I asked: How did he do as a child? He said: He was very low. He failed in everything, and was a social outcast. How about his siblings? They were all stars. So I said: Can you judge such a person? Would you want to be in his shoes? Anyone else would just drown! If you want to judge him, look where he was coming from.
MASHAL
There was once a person who was driving, in a quite a rush. But in front of him was a white van, which was taking his time, driving like “Shabbos Noch’n Cholent” (as if he’s taking a stroll on Shabbos after eating cholent). He started becoming very angry. So his passenger said: My dear friend, why are you so angry? The van has a big truck in front of him!!!
Before judging others, realize: This person has “a big truck in front of him”. This calms you down in all your relationships. Think to yourself: They are just a test from Shamayim.
