The Dilemma
You might have good reason to listen to someone’s negative report. But does he have good reason to say it? Does that matter?
The Halacha
If the speaker isn’t speaking for a constructive purpose, his words are loshon hora, and the listener may not listen. That’s because by providing an audience, the listener is “putting a stumbling block” in front of the speaker, encouraging him to go on talking. It’s possible, however, to stop the speaker and let him know that you have a constructive purpose for listening. Then, if he meets the other conditions of to’eles, he may relate negative information.
Sefer Chofetz Chaim, Hil Loshon Hora 4:11; Be’er Mayim Chaim 6:3
Reviewed by Rabbi Moshe Mordechai Lowy. For discussion only; actual halachic decisions should be made by a rav or halachic expert on a case-by-case basis.
The Halacha
Your neighbor tells you about the young new assistant at his warehouse. He’s not impressed; he complains about the boy’s intelligence, work ethic and mode of dress. What he doesn’t know is that this information is important to you, because this same boy has been suggested as a shidduch for your daughter. May you keep listening?
