R' Yosef Zundel of Salant was a Talmid of R' Chaim in the Yeshiva of Volozin. His son-in-law, R' Shmuel of Salant, told that before leaving to Eretz Yisroel, he visited R' Yaakov of Karlin, (author of the classic Sefer, Mishkenos Yaakov) who had been a Talmid-Chaver of R' Chaim in Volozin. When their conversation drifted to the topic of his father-in-law, R' Zundel, R' Yaakov related that “Rabeinu” R' Chaim, loved R' Zundel more than he loved all the rest of us, his Talmidim, together, and we never understood why.... And his Talmid, R' Yisroel Salanter said that he never met an Oved Hashem of his caliber.
Once, one of the great Talmidim approached his Rebbe on Sukkos to point out some halachic issue in his Sukkah. R' Chaim replied: If R' Zundel made my Sukkah, it needs no inspection, and there is nothing to comment or worry about.
As a young boy, R' Yisroel Salanter became so connected to him, that he was part of the family. R' Yisroel observed his Rebbe’s Derech in Avodas Hashem, watching his every move and counting his every step. When R' Zundel would go out to the field to learn Mussar, R' Yisroel would secretly follow him in order to listen to his words. One day, R' Zundel turned to him and said: Yisroel, learn Mussar and you will become a Y’rei Shamayim! These words pierced his heart, and caused him to eventually launch the Mussar movement.
The story is told of a certain person who was always taking R’ Zundel of Salant’s shtender, and never putting it back. R’ Zundel politely asked him to please return it, since it was difficult for him to carry it back to its place. He started screaming at R’ Zundel, for daring to make such a request! Despite the fact that this person was dead wrong, Reb Zundel asked him for Mechila. He refused to be Mochel him, until Reb Zundel got up in front of the whole Bais Medrash and begged him with tears in his eyes.
R’ Zundel did not get involved in who’s right and who’s wrong. His prime objective in life was to be one hundred percent pure in Bain Adam La’chaveiro and Anava. This is why indeed he became R’ Zundel HaTzaddik. Of course, this is a high Madrega. But we can learn from here that working on your Ka’as or Sin'ah problem, is much more important than who’s right and who’s wrong.
People waste their lives and energy with debates and arguments that almost never have any Tachlis whatsoever. The only Tachlis is their love for being right, which really is their desire for illusionary Kavod and silly Ga’ava. When you keep quiet or give in, you are exercising Savlanus and Anava, and you grow tremendously.
The next time you have a confrontation, instead of fighting, go to the real enemy, your Yetzer Hara, and “treat” yourself to a Mussar Sefer on Ka’as, Ga’ava, or Bitachon.
In the Mussar Yeshivos, when someone went against his Tevah (inborn tendency) by avoiding an argument and remaining quiet, he would report his actions to his Rosh HaVaad. He would be highly commended for this, and made to feel good about himself. This would boost him in his further battles against his Tevah. Having a Rebbe and a friend is always an Eitza to help in self-control.
I know a story about a Mussar Yeshiva, where they made a big party after a Chabura had overcome their desires for a long period of time. In our circles, we always give each other Brachos for Gezunt and Nachas. But they would wish each other success in acquiring Bitachon and Shviras HaMiddos.
American soldiers who were captured during the Korean War were freed many years later. However, they didn’t want to come home! They were brainwashed that America is no good, and this sweltering hot foreign country is good! No more pizza, television, movies, loving parents, your own language and people, and all the American Ta'avos of Olam HaZeh. קַ ל ו חומֶ ר Surely we can brainwash ourselves to the truth, to realize the emptiness of the fake lures of the Yetzer Hara, and start enjoying the REAL Geshmak of breaking Middos and having Bitachon in Hashem.
The Baalei Mussar say that the only way to really enjoy this world is to be above it. A Mussar Seder calms you down, and you stop worrying about your Kavod, Parnasa, and difficulties in relationships. I knew Baalei Mussar who had many difficulties in their lives. The years that they learned Mussar affected such dramatic changes in them, it...
