Only with Hashem's Hashgachah

A Yid comes crying to his Rav, "Why do I have to suffer so much? My neighbor is loaded with money, my brother has amazing children, my friend makes chashuve shidduchim, and only for me, things are difficult.

"Why? Why?"

His Rav opens three sefarim, all of which address the same topic: Toras Haminchah, authored by Rav Yaakov Skoli, the disciple of the Rashba (Matos-Masei 64), Rabbenu Bachyai al HaTorah (Devarim 22:8), and Chessed L'Avraham, authored by Rav Avraham Azulai (Ma'ayan 4, Nahar 11).

He explains to the distraught Yid what it says in the Toras Haminchah:

Before your neshamah came down to the world, it was shown all the possible circumstances it might encounter in every aspect of life – the difficulties as well as the advantages of every circumstance – wealth vs. poverty, shidduchim, children...everything in the world, including spiritual struggles, talents, familial circumstances, even your body structure - tall vs. short, weak vs. strong, beautiful or not.

The Toras Haminchah states that a person then chooses his own circumstances, both those that seem positive in this world and those that we call challenges.

"But I didn't know at the time when I chose these circumstances how difficult it would be!" the Yid says, exasperated. "Had I known, I never would have agreed."

"My dear friend," the Rav answers kindly, "I think you're mistaken. It's not that you didn't know then, it's that now you don't know! When you made the choice, you knew what was truly for your best. Here, with the limited view you have in this world, what you feel is the difficulty. When you saw the entire picture, you chose how your life would look. For this reason, the Chessed L'Avraham teaches, a person can never complain to Hashem about why his friend's circumstances are better than his own, because all his circumstances are a result of his own choice."

Thank Hashem for your challenges, for every challenge in the world brings a person toward the true, eternal good. As the Chessed L'Avraham explains further, any physical or circumstantial limitation that a person has to deal with in this world will be transformed into its opposite after techiyas hameisim. The man who was poverty-stricken throughout his life here will be wealthy, the man who was weak will be strong, and so on.

When you internalize the fact that everything you have to deal with is l'chat'chilah for you and is for your ultimate good, your life becomes much more peaceful. It becomes a life of constant joy and growth.

Gut Shabbos, Pinchas Shefer