Sometimes a person connects to the light of the tzaddik and awakens himself to come closer to him, but then he loses his yearning. He suspects that what he felt before was an illusion and nothing more. Similarly, a person can find new passion during davening only to lose it shortly after. Or perhaps a person becomes inspired to do teshuvah. He feels regret for his sins and does cheshbon hanefesh on a regular basis. But then, he falls back into his desires and he gets very discouraged. He thinks, “When will I be able to defeat my yetzer hara that constantly renews its strength against me?”
Lesson 14-19
14. When a person awakens himself to do teshuvah and he wants to travel to see a tzaddik, he receives a greater yetzer hara who tries to prevent him from doing so. Therefore, a person must strengthen himself with new force to fight this fresh yetzer hara with more perseverance.
This is why when a person initially sets out to visit a tzaddik, he is filled with great longing but as soon as he begins his journey, his desire is diminished. Sometimes, by the time he reaches the tzaddik, he loses his yearning completely.
All of this comes from the concept that was mentioned above. The moment he made up his mind to travel to the tzaddik, he slaughtered the yetzer hara he had at that time. But afterwards, when he began his journey, he received a stronger one in its place, as the Sages say, “The greater the person, the stronger the yetzer hara.” Thus, a person who truly wishes to come closer to Hashem must always renew his courage to overpower the yetzer hara, since the yetzer hara is constantly renewing himself as well.
15. There are many aspects of the yetzer hara. For most people, the yetzer hara is very low, physical desire—truly crazy cravings. So, a person who has some clarity of mind and can measure a little bit of the greatness of Hashem in his heart perceives that these desires are totally insane and foolish. Even the temptation for lust seems crazy to him and he doesn’t even need to strengthen himself against it. Instead, this person has a yetzer hara that is much higher, but the yetzer hara of most of the world is really nuts for someone who has some seichel.
16. There are those whose yetzer hara is a thin klipah. This yetzer hara only entices strong warriors of Hashem who have reached a certain level of kedushah. However, this is still not the yetzer hara of a true tzaddik. Rather, a tzaddik’s yetzer hara is a holy angel!
17. There is also a yetzer hara regarding coming close to Hashem—in other words, sometimes a person’s spiritual passion goes beyond the healthy level of intensity. This is an aspect of the verse, “So that they shouldn’t break their barrier to go up to Hashem.” Thus, we must beg Hashem to have compassion on us and save us from this yetzer hara as well.
18. When a person is having a hard time and he is suffering, G-d forbid, he must be very careful to strengthen himself to overcome his yetzer hara. At these times, the yetzer hara can become very powerful, since the spiritual source of the yetzer hara is the aspects of Gevurah and din, from which come suffering as well.
19. Depression also damages us and greatly empowers the yetzer hara. Therefore, a person must make himself happy using the immensely useful advice we have discussed in other lessons. Joy is the main way to encourage oneself in avodas Hashem, as the verse states, “Delight in Hashem is your strength.”
However, we must know that these difficulties are not due to our failures in the battle with the yetzer hara. Rather, this is simply the normal path of life: after slaughtering our yetzer hara, we receive a new one that hits us with greater challenges and causes us to lose our passion. So, we always need to make a fresh effort against him.
The main strength of the yetzer hara comes from the fact that he renews himself and confuses us by making it seem like he’s very powerful and it’s impossible for us to defeat him. He even tries to prove this point by reminding us that we always fall after making an effort to overcome him. These thoughts weaken our resolve to even put up a fight anymore.
But the truth is that the yetzer hara is a lying thief. He hides from us the fact that as soon as we begin to awaken ourselves to do teshuvah, we have already defeated him! The test that we have afterwards is not from the same yetzer hara as yesterday and the day before—he is completely new. When we understand that the yetzer hara’s main strategy is to renew himself after we’ve already killed him, we can also find the inspiration to renew our spiritual weapons and wipe him out, again and again.
The Yetzer Hara’s Imaginary Greatness
Rebbe Nachman explains in Sichos HaRan that the yetzer hara can be compared to beams of sunlight coming through a window. They seem to have some substance, but it is impossible to grab them. So too, when we understand a little bit of the sweetness of the true light of emunah in our hearts, we can easily recognize the unbelievably crazy illusion of the yetzer hara. We can’t even fathom how a person could run after money and kavod, which don’t have any lasting purpose. How could a person have a desire for a physical form that is full of blood, organs, and waste?
But if we think the yetzer hara is real, then he is able to renew himself and test us with these empty cravings. He seems to be very big, and so we think it is impossible to escape his hands.
Therefore, Rebbe Nachman reveals to us that, in truth, the yetzer hara is very small, and we’ve already defeated him many times. And each time the yetzer hara comes back with more power, he is not the same one that we had in the past—that one we already killed. When we look at this spiritual war like this, we can receive extraordinary strength in our souls to renew our efforts to constantly overcome the yetzer hara.
The bottom line is that there are many types of yetzer haras. Thus, we shouldn’t get confused when we see the yetzer hara getting stronger against us, since the biggest nachas we can give Hashem is to renew ourselves to fight against the yetzer hara each time.
Not Going too Far
Another point we learn from this lesson is that the yetzer hara always refreshes himself, even after a person knows that the yetzer hara is crazy. Despite our understanding of his strategy, he is still able to draw us into cravings for honor and arrogance, which cause us incredible suffering, confusion, and agony.
It is also important to know that even the tzaddikim have a yetzer hara—not the craziness of temptation, rather, a holy angel that causes them to have a spiritual passion that is not in the right proportion. Through this, they can make mistakes in their specific mission for Hashem.
In fact, this yetzer hara can come into regular people as well. He makes us feel depressed when we see that we haven’t reached amazing levels in avodas Hashem. We don’t realize that these feelings come from the yetzer hara who entices us to yearn for too much light, which prevents us from getting chiyus from the incredible goodness we already have. This yetzer hara tells us to search only for things that are beyond our capabilities, so that we will inevitably get disappointed.
Sweetening Our Suffering
Another teaching we learn from this lesson is that in essence, the entire power of the yetzer hara comes from middas hadin. Therefore, when we’re suffering and middas hadin is strong in our lives, we must be even more careful of the yetzer hara. This is something we should daven for a lot, especially on Rosh Hashanah, which is the time when we can sweeten the judgements of the entire year. During these days, we can strengthen ourselves much more than the yetzer hara by always renewing ourselves—even a thousand times in one day!
We must also daven to overcome our depression and agony, which are the main forces that make us stumble in areas of kedushah and fall back into the craziness of the yetzer hara, even after we started over many times. The biggest battle is to be happy all the time!
L’Ma’aseh—Practically Speaking
We must be careful to understand the proper way to receive the light of the tzaddikim and avodas Hashem. There are times when we have a big inspiration to travel to a tzaddik, but then our passion suddenly disappears. Sometimes we have a strong desire in our hearts to daven with kavanah, but then, in the middle of our prayers, it goes away. We must know that this is simply the true order of life: our inspiration killed the yetzer hara, but then afterwards, we received a new one and the light of kedushah became hidden again. So, we must hold our ground and awaken ourselves to renew our efforts. We must be careful of the middas hadin that tries to break and discourage us. This is how we can win the war.
This article is a translation of the sefer Meshiv Nafshi, which is based on the teachings of HaRav Nissan Dovid Kivak, shlit’’a. To purchase a copy of the sefer, to make a dedication, or to subscribe to receive these articles by email, you may contact: [email protected]. To join the Rebbe’s Pharmacy group on WhatsApp, send a message to +1-718-207-1468 or scan this QR code:
