Excerpts From a Conversation with Rabbi Shmuel Lew
My first encounter with the Rebbetzin was a week before my wedding. A few days before, we had entered yechidus, and the Rebbe had agreed to my father-in-law, Reb Zalmon Jaffe’s request that he officiate at the wedding and be mesader kiddushin. My father-in-law asked the Rebbe if he could invite the Rebbetzin to the wedding as well, and the Rebbe told him that although she would not attend, she would appreciate an invitation. The Rebbe noted that she knew about my father-in-law because they would always “say it with flowers”— he used to send flowers to the Rebbe’s home every Yom Tov via Interflora.
Therefore, a week before our wedding, the whole wedding entourage; my future wife and I, along with my in-laws, went to visit the Rebbetzin and invite her to our wedding. The Rebbetzin served punch in crystal glasses with glass straws, and she invited the chosson— me—to fill the glasses. At one point, my hand went over a glass, and I didn’t notice the straw. I spilled the whole punch on the pristine white table cloth; I wanted to bury myself alive. The Rebbetzin immediately got all excited. “It’s a siman bracha—it’s a sign of blessing,” she said. My father-in-law told me afterwards that she looked so delighted that he was tempted to push over another glass. That is how sensitive she was to any person that was with her.
In Tishrei 5748 (the year of the Rebbetzin’s passing - histalkus), Simchas Torah was on a Thursday and Friday. As was the seder when Shabbos Bereishis was straight after Simchas Torah, the Rebbe farbrenged two times on Shabbos; first at 1:30 PM like a regular Shabbos Mevorchim and then again for a longer time later in the day, towards the end of Shabbos, as a continuation of the Simchas Torah farbrengen that took place on the evening prior, after which the Rebbe gave out kos shel bracha. In order to have a good place in 770 to be able to hear the Rebbe, I came at six o’clock in the morning, and I remained in my place, practically throughout the entire day—Tehillim, shacharis, two farbrengens and kos shel bracha, besides for a few minutes when my son held the place while I went to make kiddush and grab something to eat. The following day, we went to visit the Rebbetzin in the library. While there, my father in-law mentioned to the Rebbetzin that I had been sitting in one place for close to twenty hours. Hearing this, the Rebbetzin said: “You could have come here for a coffee.” Hearing her offer, which I knew I would never take up, I gave a slight smile. But she said that no, she wasn’t joking: “Come here, knock on the door, and I will give you a coffee.” The Rebbetzin showed an incredible sensitivity for another individual. We can all learn so much from the way the Rebbetzin cared for and treated others.
I once visited the Rebbetzin together with my children and my in-laws; my sons Yossi and Mendy were then about six years old. As children often are, they were restless, and began running around the room; they were swinging on doorknobs, and all sorts of other childish things. I began to get very uncomfortable. In addition to everything they were already doing, I had another major fear: On a table in the corner of the room there was a pile of sefarim, and they were full of bookmarks in different places. I had a terrible fear that they would start pulling out the Rebbe’s bookmarks, and I began to feel very anxious. While I didn’t clearly say what I was worried about, I mentioned to the Rebbetzin that perhaps I should take my children home. What she said was very interesting. She didn’t encourage me to keep them there, because in that case I would remain very uncomfortable. Neither did she make me feel unwanted. She told me: “Vi s’iz eich bakvem—however you are more comfortable.”
Something one always felt in the presence of the Rebbetzin, was a feeling of malchus. The Rebbetzin was physically a small woman; but her presence filled the entire room. She was a giant in that sense. In general, all of the descriptions of the Rebbetzin, and in the stories I just told you, you will always read about her sensitivity and ahavas Yisroel. She dealt with an intellectual in an intellectual way, and teenager in a teenage way, and a child in a child’s way. But more importantly is her self-sacrifice. The Rebbetzin literally gave her life away for the Chassidim, and it is possible to say, that everything we have in dor hashvi’i, is really in her merit. The Rebbe would take yechidus (private audience) a few times a week, until the wee hours of the morning. Sometimes these yechidus’n could end as late as 6 or 7 AM. One time, Reb Zalman Gurary suggested to the Rebbetzin, that perhaps the Rebbe should set some sort of limit to yechidus, so that he wouldn’t come home so late at night. The Rebbetzin didn’t want to think about the idea. She said: “I wouldn’t want to take him away from people who need him.”
Reprinted from the Derher Magazine
