TRUE STORY
Shneur’s wife was boiling angry. She yelled and yelled, and continued criticizing him for his “terrible” behavior. Throughout the entire episode, Shneur didn’t open his mouth even once. He made believe it was all zero, and as if nothing happened.
A while later, his wife apologized (which she isn’t known to do!). When you scream, you show that you are weak and without control. Being quiet in such a situation shows that you are in control and “above” your Matzav. This behavior commands respect.
The Chazon Ish once told someone: “My silence is what gives me power over you”. The Seforim HaKedoshim say that: תִֵׁשְֵיקֵָה silence is a form of Bitachon. You keep quiet, and allow Hashem to take over. ה'ֵֵיִׁלָ ח םֵ לָ כֶםֵ וְאַ תֶ םֵ תַ חֲ רִׁ שוּןֵֵידֵ יד Hashem will fight for you, while you remain silent. This is what caused Kriyas Yam Suf, and when Chizkiyahu HaMelech was quiet, the entire Malchus Ashur (who were his enemies) were destroyed in one night. (Medrash).
Arguing back has no Tachlis. It’s for immature babies who always need to be right. Arguments and חִֵׁוּיכֵוִֵׁיםֵ debates are usually wasted energy, with zero Tachlis. Chazal say: רַ גְ זָן ל ֹא עָ לְ תָ ה בְ יָדוֹ אֶ לָ א רַ גְ זָנוּתוֵֹקידושיןֵמֵב The angry man earns no benefit from his rage, besides that now he has more suffering. Who cares who’s right?! וְחָ זֵַקְ תָ ֵוְהָ יִׁיתָ ֵלְ אִׁ ישֵֵמ"אֵבֵב “Be a man!” And feel good about yourself.
Or else you can be a wimp who doesn’t use his Sechel; just his emotions, and his age old bad Middos, Chas V'shalom. The Velt says: “A man convinced against his will, is of his opinion still.” And: “The best way to win an argument, is to avoid it.”
STORY
I knew a Novardoker who when he did something wrong (like coming home late) his wife yelled at him. He always replied softly that he’s wrong and he’ll improve. When she yelled and said: “But you said that last time!” He would say: “But next time I’ll really be good”. And if she continued complaining, he would continue like a broken record: “But now I’ll really, really be good.”
(P.S. Maybe he should really take her more seriously and improve. But I don’t know the situation). I heard this from his son, who is a big Chasid of his father.
I know a Yungerman who not only gives in, but he says emphatically and: בְֵקוֹלֵ רֵָם with passion: “You are right!” (Not a soft Hachna'a and Haskama (feeble agreement).
