Parshat Beshalach: Even HaEzer 34—The Berachah of Erusin
It would be logical to think the beracha the rabbi makes before a groom gives a ring to the bride is a birchat ha-mitzvah, a blessing on the mitzvah of marriage. Aruch HaShulchan, Even HaEzer 34;1, points out problems with the idea.
The text has us bless/praise God for sanctifying us with His mitzvot, similar to other birchot ha-mitzvah, then add “and commanded us about prohibited marital relationships, prohibited arusot, betrothed women,” along with some more words, before concluding with a berachah. Where most birchot ha-mitzvah have a short form, “Who has sanctified us with His mitzvot and commanded us to x,” AH wonders why this one has a longer form. He also questions why we would bless God for prohibiting certain relationships, and mention the idea of chuppah, part of the nisu’in ceremony, not the current kiddushin.
(Rosh raised this last point; it reminds us that we combine the two, where Jews kept the two separate until some time after the Gemara).
[Just for fun, let me point out the example AH uses for contrast when he wonders why we speak of God prohibiting arayot. In the berachah a slaughterer makes before shechitah, the mitzvah to kill an animal a certain way to make its meat kosher, he does not bless God for having prohibited pieces of live animals, ever min ha-chai (last week’s mitzvah! I used to learn with someone who loved pointing out serendipity, when things match up seemingly randomly. Here, we studied EMH just last week! Serendipity!)]
Maybe It’s Not a Birchat Ha-Mitzvah
Ran questions the assumption. We only make blessings just before we complete a mitzvah, where kiddushin is only the first step. Even when we do the two parts of marriage together, Ran says, Chazal chose not to set up a separate ceremony for that circumstance.
Perhaps more significantly, Rosh argues the kiddushin and nisu’in aren’t the mitzvah, having children is, and that can be done in other ways (such as with a pilegesh, a concubine, a minefield of a topic I can leave for another time).
A man who has already had children might not be required to marry at all, or marry a woman unable to bear children. Men who are naturally infertile can marry, and in none of these cases is there a mitzvah element of having children.
Marriage is the usual and preferred way to fulfill the obligation to have children, but not the sole one, says Ran. In contrast to shechitah, not required but the only way to access kosher meat. For a birchat ha-mitzvah, indispensability matters.
To Mark the Occasion
In se’if three, AH writes that Hashem didn’t want the mitzvah to happen without being noticed aloud. When calling it a mitzvah, I think he means the prescribed practice to create the usual vehicle to fulfill the obligation of procreation; back in se’if 1 of Even HaEzer, we saw other reasons for marriage, too.
To do so, Chazal articulated a blessing that notes the special sanctity of the Jewish people around marital issues. It starts with God choosing us, teaching us what constitute wrong relationships, showing us how marriage best occurs [this is not the place, but if you think a bit about why Hashem required two-stage marriage for Jews, there is a lesson there in the sanctity of the institution].
For AH, the blessing emphasizes the need for chuppah to be sure people not err and think the wife is allowed right after kiddushin. Shittah Mekubetzet added that now that we combine the two, the mention of chuppah fits even better.
Why a Long Berachah
Once it is not a birchat ha-mitzvah, its longer form is not as much of a problem, but AH offers more explanations as well, in se’if four. First, the several topics we want to mention led Chazal to give it a full closing blessing, although it is really only a short berachah. Also, the language of kedushah, sanctity, appears here as it does in the berachah we make on Shabbat and holidays. Those berachot refer to both Creation and the Exodus, enough to be long berachot, we do the same here, where we mention the sanctity of the Jewish people and marriage.
Ramban suggested the reference to chuppah ve-kiddushin at the end of the berachah (an odd order, since kiddushin comes first) was about the Jewish people’s entrance into the covenant at Sinai, when Hashem gave the Torah.
The chuppah was the mountain Hashem held over our heads, and the actual Giving was the kiddushin. AH likes the idea, because it also explains the reverse order, Hashem brought us under the chuppah, then did the
