A Gadol who can help others because he himself had gone through the same Nisyonos. I know stories of people demanding Torah and/or Chesed from others (which is indeed Gevaldig, bringing major Yeshuos and Brachos; and plenty Gehinom without them!) and they can Mamash kill them if these Shmuessin are not appropriate for them.
The Yetzer Hara Has All Kinds of Tricks Just to Make You Depressed
- “How dare you stop learning?”
- Where are your feelings for others?
- What happened to your Zikkui HaRabbim?
- You are Over on (violating): לֹא תַעֲמֹד עַל דַם רֵעֶךָ!
- According to Chazal you are a Rasha!
- Your low Kedusha level and your unending Ka'as!
- You should be whipped for your Atzvus (depression) level!
- What’s with you? Where’s your Simcha? Or Bitachon!
- You’re an ingrate! You have no Middos!
Although people may not be saying things like this to you, many, many, people have Chazal’s in their heads that are causing “slow death” to their energy level, since their guilt is all over themselves. You yourself could be that Rebbe who pushes his Talmid with two hands and is too harsh!
You may need plenty of: אונֵס רַחְמָנָא פַּטְרֵיה ב"ק כח ב (a person who acted involuntarily who is not responsible) and: אֵין הַקָדוש בָרוּךְ הוּא בָא בְטְרוּנְיָא עִם בְרִ יותָיו ע"ז ג א Hashem does not act with tyranny (i.e., to demand the impossible) from His creations, and you may in a sense be considered a: תִ ינוק שֶ נִ שְ בָ ה לְ בֵ ין הַ נָ כְ רִ ים baby who grew up among the gentiles (who knows nothing about Yiddishkeit), or a Bechina (type) of a: שוטֶ ה (mentally impaired) who is Patur (exempt) from all the Mitzvos. Of course you need to watch out, and have a Rebbe guide you. A Yungerman cried like a baby to me, since a great person refused to acknowledge the severe traumas he had gone through, which were causing all kinds of debilitating problems in Ruchaniyus and Gashmiyus. He said: “Stop being a baby and move on.”
Of course there are no: כְ לָ לִ ים rules, and there are plenty of success stories where people blindly followed their Rebbe or parents, and were Zoche to great things. I once met a Chasidishe Admor who is a major Talmid Chochom. He told me that many people need to avoid Mussar Shmuessin that are: תובֵ עַ (exacting) and make demands on people. Often, the best Shmuess is constant appreciation for your positive side, and keep out of all mistakes and sins and weaknesses. The Yetzer Hara has all kinds of tricks just to make you depressed.
However, concrete, tangible solutions are the most positive way, even if you may need to be somewhat self-critical while working on your problems.
