Dear Alumni Sheyichyu!
Sholom U’Brocho! Mazeltov to Dovi Strait on on the occasion of his engagement. May he use out the period of yokor mikol yokor to its’ utmost! Mazeltov to Rabbi and Mrs. Mendel Elberg on the birth of their daughter. Mazeltov to Rabbi and Mrs. Mendel Korf on the birth of their son. Mazeltov to Rabbi and Mrs. Eli Steinhauser on the birth of their son. Mazeltov to Rabbi and Mrs. Dovie Best on the birth of their son. Mazeltov to Rabbi and Mrs. Shmully Graj on the birth of their son. [A special Mazel Tov to grandparents Rabbi and Mrs. Boruch Zaltzman. May they see the fulfilment of the words of Chazal נולד בן זכר נתרפאה כל המשפחה כולה]. May they bring them up lTOveCHuMAA”T mitoch harchovo, and to be true chayolim/os! (If anyone is aware of any mazeltov’s that I omitted please let me know).
Thank you as always for the feedback, it is much appreciated.
R’ Michoel Slavin, who is – amongst other things – the much beloved baal koreh of 770, was kind enough to share the following account of his own yechidus with the Rebbe, I thank him very much, zechus horabim toluy boi:
As a bochur, he was scheduled to go into the Rebbe for a yechidus, on the occasion of his birthday. At the time, he was a young 17-year-old bochur. In those years, a bochur would be entitled to get a yechidus once a year, around the time of his yom huledes. A yechidus of a bochur would routinely be extremely brief, literally a matter of seconds. He would hand in his letter, would receive a brocho, and it would time for the next one in line.
This was the case with him as well. He had his yechidus, and – seconds later – emerged. His yechidus had lasted mere seconds, and he felt slightly disappointed or disillusioned. After all, throughout the entire year, the farbrengens by his mashpi’im had been focused on the importance and the spiritual uplifting of yechidus, and after all of the preparations and expectations and anticipation, the yechidus felt to him to be anticlimactic. The Rebbe had given him a brief brocho, and he was in and out before he knew it. He couldn’t understand how this was meant to be a moment that should have an impact on his entire life.
As he was walking through the hallway in 770, he encountered an older 770 bochur, and he shared his thoughts with the older bochur. The older bochur replied curtly (and rather bluntly): “What did you expect? If you go into yechidus like a dovor acher, then you come out like a dovor acher”.
Young Michoel was deeply insulted and humiliated. However, the words left their mark, and throughout the ensuing year he was always conscious of the need to be better prepared for his next yechidus. Perhaps nothing major, but all of his davenings, learning and other aspects of avodas Hashem during the year were influenced somewhat by his preoccupation with this goal.
The following year, around the time of his birthday, he again went into his yechidus, and following are just some of the vignettes of that yechidus:
He handed in his letter, which contained various requests. One of the things he asked, was for advice on how to deal with yeshus, with arrogance. The Rebbe, while reading the letter, spoke to him, saying: “A bochur is asking about yeshus? Indeed? What do you have to be arrogant about [that you should need advice about how to suppress the arrogance]? Have you resolved a difficult Rambam? What cause do you have for yeshus?!”
Another point in his letter was asking about how to improve his hasmodo (diligence). About that the Rebbe remarked (naming three bochurim who had just come from Russia): “This (Russian) bochur was living in... and had mesirus nefesh there to learn Torah, another (the Rebbe named a second bochur from Russia) was in ... (the Rebbe named a second city in Russia) and had mesirus nefesh to keep his beard. Un ess zitzta bochur in Canada un zogt az er ken nit hobben kein hasmodo” [And a bochur sits in Canada and complains that he can’t bring himself to learn with hasmodo]?!
After addressing various points in the letter, the Rebbe then said to him (seemingly not in response to anything the bochur had written): “Halt bei zich aleh mol a bild fun Rebben. Az du zest amol az di nefesh habehamis tzu vil de vit zich, nem arois di bild un zog er kukt, vet er zich baru’igen” [Keep handy, with you, a picture of the Rebbe. If you ever find that your nefesh habehamis is getting out of hand, take out the picture, and remind yourself that he is watching you, and it will be contained].
Before he exited, the Rebbe, on his own initiative, broached another subject: Michoel had befriended another student in the school, a bit younger than him, and was helping the younger student cope with difficulties that he was experiencing. At that time, the younger student was considering leaving Yeshiva altogether, and going to a different type of program. The Rebbe began discussing with him how that younger student should be dealt with, and even gave him instructions – regarding that student – to pass on to the hanholoh!
All in all, it turned out to be a very unique and remarkable yechidus!
There is much to be learned from the details of the yechidus, much that we can each apply to our lives from the particulars of the answers that the Rebbe gave to that bochur. But – perhaps most importantly - there is also the lesson that we have to take from the general story: One of the greatest experiences that a chosid can have is yechidus. And yet, what exactly the experience will be, is entirely determined by what kind of preparations precede it.
We are all now preparing for Yud Shvat. It is the day that marks the beginning of the nesius of the Rebbe. It is the day, each year, when we rededicate ourselves to being mekushar to the Rebbe. Many of us travel to spend this day in in the daled amos of the Rebbe, to experience our yechidus; - our connection with the yechida klolis. And if not in a physical sense, then definitely in a spiritual sense we all use this time to travel to be closer to the Rebbe in a spiritual sense.
But we have to remember, as the story so clearly illustrates, that exactly what we experience on Yud Shvat will be determined solely by how we prepare for the day. We have to see to it that we go into Yud Shvat with the appropriate hachonos, so that we can emerge truly changed and transformed.
Specifically, we have to make sure that we don’t go into it like a dovor acher.
How does a dovor acher go into Yud Shvat, for that matter, how does a dovor acher go into Yechidus?
Perhaps the following story (that the Rebbe retold in the name of the Frierdige Rebbe) can help us understand:
Once there were 2 brothers, a chossid and a misnaged. As fate would have it, the misnaged was wealthy, while the chossid lived in poverty. In those days the custom was that when one had to marry off a daughter there were extra expenses involved, for he had to provide a suitable dowry for the son-in-law, whereas when one would marry off a son he would be on the receiving end. As fate would have it again, the poor chossid – in addition to not having money - was also blessed with numerous daughters, while the wealthy misnaged – either had no children at all or had sons.
When it came time for the chossid to marry off his daughters, the burden of his poverty became too much to bear, and eventually he saw as his only choice to approach his brother and ask for his assistance.
Although an ardent misnaged, he was nonetheless aware of his chossid brother’s qualities, and felt a begrudging respect towards him. Thus when the chossid wrote to his brother about his impending visit, the misnaged was actually overjoyed, anticipating the meeting, and hoping to impress his brother with his own station in life.
When the chossid arrived he received a warm and enthusiastic welcome. His brother, the misnaged, immediately took him to his beautiful mansion, and began providing him with a guided tour. He proudly showed off his many rooms and spacious chambers. The chossid, however, was growing more and more impatient. Finally, the chossid could take no more, and turned to leave.
“What’s wrong?” asked the misnaged.
“If you want to give me money for my daughter’s dowry, that’s fine, but if not, that’s just as well, but I’m leaving in any case!”
“What happened?” asked the misnaged, “why are you so upset?”
So the chossid explained: “There exists a certain creature, about which Chazal teach us that only when Moshiach comes will it become Kosher, and this animal spends all of its’ time wallowing in the mud. But not only is it not uncomfortable, it derives the greatest imaginable pleasure from wallowing in the mud. When it can sink up to its’ nostril (snout) in the mud, it experiences pure bliss. At that time the only disturbing thought it has is ‘Why did Hashem create in the world only enough mud for me to sink into until my nose? Why couldn’t he create a little more mud in the world, so that my nose can also be covered in mud’”!
The creature – that the chossid was reluctant to name – as you’ve surely realized, is none other than the dovor acher. And its’ most prominent feature is the great pleasure it derives from wallowing in the mud.
To go to yechidus like a dovor acher, then, is to enjoy wallowing in the mud. A human being is meant to have the awareness that mud is muddy, it’s dirty, it’s yucky, it’s repulsive and disgusting and most unpleasant. In short it is not where we want to be. If I have that realization then the first result will be that I’m not happy about where I am, I want a change – I need a change; then there is the first foundation for a productive yechidus, a productive trip to the Rebbe.
But if I think I’m good the way I am, not to mention if I’m having fun, if I’m actually enjoying it, then nothing I do will be a preparation for a yechidus that is intended to change me and have an impact on my life. I may participate in one mitzva or another, do one good deed or another, fill out one checklist or another. But it is all shallow and chitzoniyus; - I am surely not preparing to tune into my yechida and change my life, if I don’t have the sense that it needs to change!
If I love my life, love my house, love my car, love my phone, love my tesla and love my alexa, and I’m going to the Rebbe to acquire some additional perfection, some icing on the cake, then I am ch”v going into yechidus like the dovor acher, without much chance of improvement (after all, the dovor acher is also seeking more perfection, he wants an extra measure of mud).
If, instead, I am coming from a deep sense of discontent, from a readiness to do whatever it takes to change my existence, then I am going into yechidus like a mentch!
This is true about our collective situation, about our wallowing in the mud of golus. We have to understand that Moshiach is not just a good idea, a popular campaign, something that is chassidish to aspire for. Our yearning for Moshiach, our expression that “We want Moshiach Now” needs to be an outcome of our sense that the Golus is intolerable, it’s not a viable situation, we can’t stand another moment of it! As the Rebbe said: it can’t even be conceivable to us that tonight we’ll still be in golus, that tomorrow we’ll still be in golus!!
And it is equally true about each person’s personal golus pnimi. Connecting to a Rebbe is about being connected to Elokus, getting out of our rut, our personal darkness, and getting onto a higher plane. It’s about living a life that isn’t only about superficialities and trivialities, about pleasure-seeking and satisfaction, but living a life filled with meaning.
But the first prerequisite is to really feel strongly that we can’t go on with our status quo. If I’m comfortable and complacent with the way my life is going, if I don’t feel an urgent need for change, then chances are that I won’t find one.
This is one of the important lessons in this week’s Parsha as well:
In the Parsha of this week we learn about – perhaps - the most momentous event in our history, yetzias mitzrayim. In one of the greatest miracles of all time, the Eibishter liberated an entire nation from a most formidable prison. And these events are not merely part of our past. Every day we recount and relive this event, every day we continue to endeavor to free ourselves from the spiritual shackles that continue to constrain us.
We know that this event was not brought about by any action of Yidden, nor was there anything we were capable of, since we had not yet received the Torah and were not responsible for the mitzvos (we were given dam mila and dam Pesach to avoid being completely barren). This was Hashem’s choice and His initiative to redeem His beloved nation (נגלה עליהם מ"מ מהה" הקב). There was nothing needed on our part to be worthy of this redemption.
Except one thing.
We couldn’t be dovor achers. Those who were dovor achers, - those who were comfortable wallowing in the filth of Mitzrayim and saw no need for anything to change – were excluded from the geulah. They died during the plague of choshech and never left Mitzrayim.
[This is in spite of the fact that the Eibishter Himself provides us with the ability to not be comfortable with our state of golus. As the known interpretation on המוציא אתכם מתחת סבלות מצרים,- that the Eibishter removes us from being able to tolerate Mitzrayim. Still, we don’t lose our free choice, and if we choose to be satisfied with the golus, that will remain the case].
Chazal tell us that four fifths of our people, or even more, were in that category. Incredibly, such huge numbers amongst our people saw no tragedy, or even took pleasure, in their finding themselves in the international ervas ho’oretz. None of them ever got out.
Nothing better depicts our current situation. Besides our collective state of golus, each of us, on an individual basis, is floundering in our own dark and dreary golus pnimi. But we have a Rebbe – we travel to the Rebbe and connect ourselves with the Rebbe and rededicate ourselves to the Rebbe – who’s mission it is to schlep us out of the muck and illuminate our existence.
[A young man from the west coast was studying in a university in the east coast. While there, at the urging of his family back home, he took advantage of the opportunity to meet with the Lubavitcher Rebbe. During his audience, the Rebbe questioned him about his affairs. When he said that he was studying in university, the Rebbe asked him ‘which university’. When he replied, the Rebbe asked him what he was studying, and he answered. At that point the Rebbe commented: “I, too, studied in university”. “Really”, he answered, surprised (and here the questions reversed themselves, with him asking the Rebbe which university etc.). When he asked what the Rebbe had studied, the Rebbe replied: “Engineering”. Puzzled, he blurted out: “In that case, what are you doing here?!” [In other words, if you had no other skills, then I could understand that you have no choice but to become a Rebbe. After all, a person has to make a living somehow. But if you are not helpless...] And the Rebbe explained: “I decided that I would rather light up Jewish souls than light up light bulbs”!].
But this is contingent on us seeking that, for only then will we be sincerely preparing ourselves for such a move, for a soul-deep change. We need to decide and truly believe that we can’t continue the way we are, and go to the Rebbe, to Yud Shvat, not as fulfilling another one of our strange customs, but with the sincere and heartfelt commitment and resolution that this can’t – and won’t – continue, and “morgen vet muzz en zein gor andersh”. Because with that approach, it is the Rebbe who can – and will – help us effect that change.
When bochurim from Tomchei Tmimim were standing in line to enter the room of the Rebbe Rashab, for yechidus, they would be approached by R’ Hendel, one of the mashpi’im in the Yeshiva. He would cry to them and say: “Children, please, don’t write (in your letters to the Rebbe) what you want (to show yourselves as), write what you don’t want to write (i.e., those things that you would want to hide), vail der Rebbe vet eich arois shleppen” [the Rebbe will extricate you].
We have to go to the Rebbe not as another one of our chassidishe minhagim, as a dovor acher who is perfectly satisfied with its’ own existence, because then we are at risk of remaining imprisoned in our meitzarim, in our own plague of darkness. We need, rather, to truly and sincerely evaluate our situation, to do a proper kriyas shma she’al hamita, and to genuinely determine that we will do whatever it takes to become who we want to be and who and what we are meant to be.
With this mindset, our hachonos, whether large or small, will not be merely superficial or surface-deep, but will be genuine hachonos that truly prepare us to connect with the Rebbe, and ensure that that is the life-altering experience that it is meant to be.
The story is told that R’ Hillel was farbrenging with a group of yungerleit in a basement. It was dark, and someone commented: “Don’t worry, after a while you will become accustomed to the dark, and it will become lighter”.
R’ Hillel retorted: “That is the whole tragedy, we become accustomed to the darkness, and start to convince ourselves (and/or others) that the darkness is really light”!
Let us identify the darkness for what it is, an intolerable and unacceptable plague, and thus be resolved to not rest and do all that we can to banish this darkness, from ourselves, from our families, from our acquaintances and from our surroundings, until – ultimately – we can banish it from the whole world and replace it with the eternal light of the geulah ho’amitis vehashleima TUMYM!
L’chaim! May we each use out the remaining days and hours until Yud Shvat to make an honest evaluation of our situation and sincerely resolve to do whatever we can to change it, and may the Eibishter in turn resolve to transform the situation of the entire Universe – to stop it from wallowing in the mud of golus - with the immediate revelation of Moshiach Tzidkeinu TUMYM!!!
Rabbi Akiva Wagner
לזכות 'רב ברוך מרדכי בן 'חיה אסתר ש"ל רפוק" ורפוט" ואויוש מתוך בריאות הנכונה ס"וכט
